Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Professors Make The Best Machmakers!
Oh, You Cannot Be SERIOUS!
4 reviewsThe Hogwarts Professors have HAD IT! This is Lily's and James' finnal year at school, and the teachers are Hell bent on getting them together if it is the last thing they do, and Albus has even sta...
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Disclaimer: I own none of J.K's charactors!
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CHAPTER 6: Oh, You Cannot Be Sirius!
"That was /crazy/!" Aurora blurted out once she, Sasha, and Lily were out of earshot of their insane Muggle Studies Professor.
"I know! Someone needs to send that women to St. Mungo's!" Lily exclaimed as they turned the corner that led to the Tranfiguration classroom.
"What's crazy?" Natasha inquired once she caught up with her friends.
When Sasha was finished explaining their Professor's recent tactics, Natasha rolled her eyes. "Our teachers are slowly going nuts."
There were murmurs of agreement as the four friends took their seats near the front just as the bell rang. Ignoring it, the class continued to talk loudly.
XXXX
In The Front Of The Classroom
XXXX
Minerva McGonagall drumed her fingers on the top of her desk impatiently.
The phrase 'the foolish talk, but the wise listen' was completely waisted on this lot!
A moment later, Professor McGonagall lost her patiance.
"SILENCE IS GOLDEN! /BE RICH!/" she screamed. A shocked silence radiated from the students as Minerva regained composure.
"Now that you have all deemed it fit to be quiet," the professor began. "We shall start on our first lesson of the year- MR.BLACK! PUT THAT AWAY THIS INSTANT!"
"I'm not doing anything!" Sirius exclaimed.
"You're up to something!" Minerva accused.
"What makes you say that?" Sirius questioned in mock-hurt.
"You're holding a dungbomb!"
Sirius glanced down at his hand in mild surpise. "I forgot I was holding those." At McGonagall's sharp look, Sirius scratched the back of his head in bemusement. "Er... This isn't what it looks like?" he tried.
"Of course not." the professor commented drily.
Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "I'll put these away now-"
"Yeah..." Minerva drawled. Turning her attention back to the rest of the class, she cleared her throat and tried again. "The first lesson of the year will be covering-"
She was interupted yet again by the door banging open. "MINERVA!" Professor Hyphianne shrieked, dashing up to the visably surprised Tranfiguration teacher's desk.
"And there was me, thinking I was free of her." James moaned loudly.
Ignoring him, Orlanda whispered in Minerva's ear something the student couldn't catch. Just as suddenly as she had appeared, the eeccentric Hyphianne rushed back out the door; slamming it dramaticly as she left.
"Is there no one normal on the Hogwarts faculty?" Lily wondered out loud.
"Uh-Oh. This doesn't look good." Remus observed. His classmates looked around at whatever had his attention.
Professor Minerva McGonagall was /cackling/.
"NO!" James suddenly screamed, pounding his desk. "NO! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I REFUSE!"
"Jamie! Calm down!" Sirius said, looking totally taken aback.
James ignored him and all the others in the room as they gave him rather alarmed looks. "Every time my professors cackles, insane things happen!" James anounced, hyperventilating.
Unfortunately, there was far to much truth in that statement for anyone to say otherwise.
"I have just been informed by Professor Hyphianne," McGonagall began. The students braced themselves for the worst. "Of you're new focus for those in Muggle Studies. Thus, I have decided that you shall work with your partners threw the semester of this class-"
"What if we don't take Muggle Studies and don't have partners?" wondered Natasha.
"Then you should consider yourself very very lucky." Sirius replied solemnly. Those who had been in said lesson nodded vigorously.
"But seriously, what if-"
"No! I'm Sirius!" he claimed.
"AHHH! YOU'RE RUINING THE PLAN!" Minerva accused, distressed. "Everyone: shut up! If you don't have a partner: get one! Sirius Black: Never speak that appalling pun within my presence or outside of it! NOW GO!"
There was a frantic scrambeling as people found their partners and attempted to take desks as far back from their teacher's as humanly possible.
"Now as I was saying for the third time-" Minerva looked around suspiciously, as if making sure that there was no one to interupt her "-we will be transfiguring things into... WEDDING RINGS!"
"Have you people gone MAD!" Remus asked incredulously.
"You can't be serious." James proclaimed.
"No! /I'm/-" Sirius tried to say, but before he could finish, the poor guy caught sight of something very tramatic. Remus had conjured a wooden spoon, and was twirling it in his hand threateningly.
"Suddenly, I don't feel the need to finish that sentance." Padfoot muttered nervously.
"Good /boy/... For now."
Sirius gulped.
"Silence!" McGonagall exclaimed. "Now... Questions?"
Frank Longbottom raised his hand uncirtainly, and she pointed at him to speak.
"Well, how is this going to help us defend ourselves aganced the Dark Lord?"
"AHHH! Are you saying my brilliant plan is /useless/!" McGonagall demanded.
"What /plan/?"
"The plan- The plan that... THE PLAN THAT IS NOT /USELESS/!" Minerva stuttered.
"And that would be...?" Aurora prompted.
"And that would be QUIET, Ms. Gildings! Total and absolute /silence/!" the Transfiguration professor hissed.
Natasha sniffed irritably. "No need to get shirty."
"QUIET!" the very flustered professor screamed. "Rings... NOW!"
The class worked in silence for a few minutes, since no one possessed the stupidity to anger the professor. A little while into the lesson, however, something slid into place in Sirius' mind with a loud click.
"I've got it!" the animagus screamed into the silent room.
Everyone stared at him until McGonagall told him to shut up and get back to work.
"What have you got?" Remus hissed, abandoning his horrible attempt at transfiguring a sock into the ring that had been requested of him.
"Two plus two make /four/!" Sirius responded, triumphantly.
"It must be a crime to be as stupid as you." Remus insisted.
"...Hey! I've really got it this time! What if the professors are acting wird because they have a plan to get James and Lily together by the end of the year?!" Sirius suggested.
For five seconds Remus stared at his friend. Then, shaking his head, the Werewolf patted his friend on the back. "That is the stupidest thought you have ever said aloud. And that is saying something."
"Yeah," Sirius shook his head with a grin. "What was I /thinking/! The day that happens is the day I proclaim my undying love for /Snape/!" At that, he burst out laughing.
Bad idea.
"MR. BACK! EITHER SHUT UP, OR PREPAIR TO BE SILENCIO-ED!" Minerva screamed.
"Sorry Minnie! -/Ouch/! I said that out /loud/, didn't I?"
Remus winced. "I'm afraid so." he replied sympatheticly.
To bad for Sirius: Sympathy did him no good.
"Call me that again, Mr. Black, and you /die/." Minerva glowered.
"Right. Gotcha." Sirius responded, nervously turning back to his snowglobe.
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Well, there it is! Hope you all like it! Again, please remember: I've set up an account on fanfiction.net and put both my storys up there. The link to the fanfiction account is in my profile. Thank you all! R&R!
Master Of Random Disaster
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CHAPTER 6: Oh, You Cannot Be Sirius!
"That was /crazy/!" Aurora blurted out once she, Sasha, and Lily were out of earshot of their insane Muggle Studies Professor.
"I know! Someone needs to send that women to St. Mungo's!" Lily exclaimed as they turned the corner that led to the Tranfiguration classroom.
"What's crazy?" Natasha inquired once she caught up with her friends.
When Sasha was finished explaining their Professor's recent tactics, Natasha rolled her eyes. "Our teachers are slowly going nuts."
There were murmurs of agreement as the four friends took their seats near the front just as the bell rang. Ignoring it, the class continued to talk loudly.
XXXX
In The Front Of The Classroom
XXXX
Minerva McGonagall drumed her fingers on the top of her desk impatiently.
The phrase 'the foolish talk, but the wise listen' was completely waisted on this lot!
A moment later, Professor McGonagall lost her patiance.
"SILENCE IS GOLDEN! /BE RICH!/" she screamed. A shocked silence radiated from the students as Minerva regained composure.
"Now that you have all deemed it fit to be quiet," the professor began. "We shall start on our first lesson of the year- MR.BLACK! PUT THAT AWAY THIS INSTANT!"
"I'm not doing anything!" Sirius exclaimed.
"You're up to something!" Minerva accused.
"What makes you say that?" Sirius questioned in mock-hurt.
"You're holding a dungbomb!"
Sirius glanced down at his hand in mild surpise. "I forgot I was holding those." At McGonagall's sharp look, Sirius scratched the back of his head in bemusement. "Er... This isn't what it looks like?" he tried.
"Of course not." the professor commented drily.
Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "I'll put these away now-"
"Yeah..." Minerva drawled. Turning her attention back to the rest of the class, she cleared her throat and tried again. "The first lesson of the year will be covering-"
She was interupted yet again by the door banging open. "MINERVA!" Professor Hyphianne shrieked, dashing up to the visably surprised Tranfiguration teacher's desk.
"And there was me, thinking I was free of her." James moaned loudly.
Ignoring him, Orlanda whispered in Minerva's ear something the student couldn't catch. Just as suddenly as she had appeared, the eeccentric Hyphianne rushed back out the door; slamming it dramaticly as she left.
"Is there no one normal on the Hogwarts faculty?" Lily wondered out loud.
"Uh-Oh. This doesn't look good." Remus observed. His classmates looked around at whatever had his attention.
Professor Minerva McGonagall was /cackling/.
"NO!" James suddenly screamed, pounding his desk. "NO! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I REFUSE!"
"Jamie! Calm down!" Sirius said, looking totally taken aback.
James ignored him and all the others in the room as they gave him rather alarmed looks. "Every time my professors cackles, insane things happen!" James anounced, hyperventilating.
Unfortunately, there was far to much truth in that statement for anyone to say otherwise.
"I have just been informed by Professor Hyphianne," McGonagall began. The students braced themselves for the worst. "Of you're new focus for those in Muggle Studies. Thus, I have decided that you shall work with your partners threw the semester of this class-"
"What if we don't take Muggle Studies and don't have partners?" wondered Natasha.
"Then you should consider yourself very very lucky." Sirius replied solemnly. Those who had been in said lesson nodded vigorously.
"But seriously, what if-"
"No! I'm Sirius!" he claimed.
"AHHH! YOU'RE RUINING THE PLAN!" Minerva accused, distressed. "Everyone: shut up! If you don't have a partner: get one! Sirius Black: Never speak that appalling pun within my presence or outside of it! NOW GO!"
There was a frantic scrambeling as people found their partners and attempted to take desks as far back from their teacher's as humanly possible.
"Now as I was saying for the third time-" Minerva looked around suspiciously, as if making sure that there was no one to interupt her "-we will be transfiguring things into... WEDDING RINGS!"
"Have you people gone MAD!" Remus asked incredulously.
"You can't be serious." James proclaimed.
"No! /I'm/-" Sirius tried to say, but before he could finish, the poor guy caught sight of something very tramatic. Remus had conjured a wooden spoon, and was twirling it in his hand threateningly.
"Suddenly, I don't feel the need to finish that sentance." Padfoot muttered nervously.
"Good /boy/... For now."
Sirius gulped.
"Silence!" McGonagall exclaimed. "Now... Questions?"
Frank Longbottom raised his hand uncirtainly, and she pointed at him to speak.
"Well, how is this going to help us defend ourselves aganced the Dark Lord?"
"AHHH! Are you saying my brilliant plan is /useless/!" McGonagall demanded.
"What /plan/?"
"The plan- The plan that... THE PLAN THAT IS NOT /USELESS/!" Minerva stuttered.
"And that would be...?" Aurora prompted.
"And that would be QUIET, Ms. Gildings! Total and absolute /silence/!" the Transfiguration professor hissed.
Natasha sniffed irritably. "No need to get shirty."
"QUIET!" the very flustered professor screamed. "Rings... NOW!"
The class worked in silence for a few minutes, since no one possessed the stupidity to anger the professor. A little while into the lesson, however, something slid into place in Sirius' mind with a loud click.
"I've got it!" the animagus screamed into the silent room.
Everyone stared at him until McGonagall told him to shut up and get back to work.
"What have you got?" Remus hissed, abandoning his horrible attempt at transfiguring a sock into the ring that had been requested of him.
"Two plus two make /four/!" Sirius responded, triumphantly.
"It must be a crime to be as stupid as you." Remus insisted.
"...Hey! I've really got it this time! What if the professors are acting wird because they have a plan to get James and Lily together by the end of the year?!" Sirius suggested.
For five seconds Remus stared at his friend. Then, shaking his head, the Werewolf patted his friend on the back. "That is the stupidest thought you have ever said aloud. And that is saying something."
"Yeah," Sirius shook his head with a grin. "What was I /thinking/! The day that happens is the day I proclaim my undying love for /Snape/!" At that, he burst out laughing.
Bad idea.
"MR. BACK! EITHER SHUT UP, OR PREPAIR TO BE SILENCIO-ED!" Minerva screamed.
"Sorry Minnie! -/Ouch/! I said that out /loud/, didn't I?"
Remus winced. "I'm afraid so." he replied sympatheticly.
To bad for Sirius: Sympathy did him no good.
"Call me that again, Mr. Black, and you /die/." Minerva glowered.
"Right. Gotcha." Sirius responded, nervously turning back to his snowglobe.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, there it is! Hope you all like it! Again, please remember: I've set up an account on fanfiction.net and put both my storys up there. The link to the fanfiction account is in my profile. Thank you all! R&R!
Master Of Random Disaster
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