Frank starts to drown in his own despair.....
I tore the lock on my Uncle's garage to the right, opening it, exposing the makeshift coffin i had been waiting to slip into. His baby. His old Chevy 1975. I had been let out on bail until my due date in court in three days time. Only i wouldnt be going now, i was going to end everything right here and now. No convictions, no thoughts, just me, going to the pits of black and flames where i deserved to go long ago.
I walk through the door,almming it behind me, not even feeling the slightest inkling of fear. I grab the keys of the window ledge and slide into the car, revving the engine. Goodbye Mom and Dayle and Dad, wherever you may be right now, sorry i wasn't a good son to you. Bye Bob, i'm sorry i fucked you and your family around so much. Bye Gerard, i'm sorry i hit you and was too much of a pussy to stick it out and see where we could have gone, if i'd just been truthful. But that was the problem i'd always had. I was never truthful. I had always been a liar and if it wasn't ending here and now, that's what i always would be. I attatched a pipe to the exhaust pipe and fed it through the window of the car, every other nook and cranny concealed, guaranteed i could definitely disappear, and it would be quick too. Goodbye World.
"Bob, have you seen my Frank anywhere?" I ask the tall and blonde boy, he and my son had been best friends for a long time now and i knew Bob could read him better than anyone else, even me, his own mother. "I was just looking for him actually. We had a bit of a row, really wanna fix things with court coming up and all." He genuinely looked sad, the poor lad. I had treated him like my Son for months now.
"Come on Bob. We'll have a quick look round. You know what he's like, loves a good old wander around." I smile reassuringly at the boy and we make our way up the huge hill towards my brother garage.
We trek up to the very top of the hill in front of Franks uncles garage. The door is closed so surely he can't be there. He was told he couldnt have keys to there yet anyway, as he wasn't officially working there yet, just helping out here and there. Wait a minute, smoke? Why is smoke coming from there? "Ermm... Linda, is your brother at work today?" I turn to her. She turns to me, her eyes wide as she notices the thick blackness of smoke rising from the garage. "No.." She says shakily. And something clicks. He had been so down lately, so angry and resentful. Without another word or second of thought we charge towards the garage as Linda screams to God.
I race through the doors and to my horror, i can just make out a silhouette in a car, smoke was everywhere. Intoxicating me, suffocating me and filling up my lungs. I yanked him from the car and carried him out into the fresh air. "Call an ambulance! Call a fucking ambulance!" I scream as Linda wails and struggles to even think properly. My best friend. And he could be gone forever.
The next day
His small little face. His soft skin and dark hair. I look at him lying in this endless void of white and infection. The too strong stench of disinfectant filling the air around me and my beautiful, tragic son. "Why was he going to leave us Bob?" I practically whisper, gently squeezing my sons cold hand. "I don't know Linda. I really don't know. I had my suspicions but it wasn't until he kissed me that-"
"What?" I asked, completely surprised. My suspicions as certain as ever before.
"He tried to kiss me. I'm sorry Linda, i didn't-"
"This isn't your fault, he just needs to know we're still here with him and still love him no matter what." I say simply stroking Frank's forehead before the door slowly opens to reveal my boyfriend. Franks least favourite person. He wouldn't want this.
"Babe, maybe you should wait outside for a minute. I'll come out in a minute or two,yeah?" I smile softly at him, putting my son first this time around.
I struggled alot between my two boys. I loved them both so much yet they despise eachother. Frank and he were too alike to get on in my opinion. Too stubborn and strong willed. Too set in their own annoying yet so lovable little ways. He walked over to Franks bedside and gently patted his shoulder before leaving us in peace a few moments more. My poor little angel, might actually become an angel. And who the hell will I be then?