Jiraiya assumes too much and Sakura thinks she has too little.
Rating: Pg 13
Summary: Jiraiya assumes too much and Sakura thinks she has too little.
Author's Notes: Well-written? No. Coming of age? Maybe. On crack? Most definitely yes.
Straight from the beginning he assumed the kid knew much more than he let on. Adolescents always did, what with all the new magazines and television shows...as well as his orange-covered books that occasionally graced the shelves. So he took it for granted in nearly every aspect - or at least in nearly every town they passed through. He told him that becoming inured to the acrid, bitter, sour atmosphere of the whorehouses he liked to populate was good training for the senses. Whenever Naruto would not take a step towards the gaudily painted women in their too-short, too-low dresses Jiraiya simply thought the boy frigid and called him so, all the while pushing aside the cheap imitation-silk that separated the dusty streets from the dirty, stained beds; the shinobi conscience from the rules. The tow-headed idiot would need to lower his reserves sooner or later; all the time spent with the Uchiha-fucker and the Hatake-ass wasn't good for him.
But it was not until the third town that Naruto dropped the bomb and all of Jiraiya's previous notions flew out a tremendously large, absurdly hidden window.
All throughout life, Sakura was constantly made aware of her painful shortcomings. Her parents often remarked on how, out of her whole graduating class, she had been the last to learn how to walk (she didn't really count that one; it could be blamed on the fact that the Haruno clan hadn't spewed out any Genin for the past five generations). During her pubescent years, the taboo 'forehead' was the bane of her miserable existence. Then in the latter teenage period (after things had settled down and finding Sasuke was crossed off from her list of "to-do's" and Naruto wasn't quite so depressed anymore) something even more embarrassing than her infinite expanse of head came to attention with all the speed of civilians on a lawsuit (which was rather quickly).
It didn't take long for her earlier feeling of disgust towards her sensei's ample chest to change to one of appreciation. It didn't take long for her feeling of indifference towards Hinata's hourglass figure to change to one of envy. It didn't take long for her feeling of spite towards Ino's pleasing form to change to one of utter covetousness.
It didn't take long for her to realize that, in order to get anywhere in the shinobi world (as far as kunoichi were concerned), one really had to have the DNA. It wasn't just a contest for bloodlines anymore; without the assets, you couldn't even pull off simple decoy roles.
After much deliberation, she questioned Tsunade about her glamour spells and physical jutsu. Tsunade simple laughed, strapped a forty pound weight to Sakura's chest, and cancelled regular lessons in favor of a two-hour sparring session.
Stumbling home with a broken wrist, sprained ankle, pulled back, and various other injuries, Sakura concluded that she was much, much better off staying the way she was.