"Whats you fear Frankie? What are you most afraid of?"
(#) mychemicalbitchbot 2012-03-06 07:27:44 PMOh dear lord Frankie, don't follow the creep to his house! Have you never heard of murder?! Jeez.
-Freak out over, now for le review-
Well, I'm glad you've decided to keep the chapters at least 1000 words. Any shorter than that annoys the fuck out of me. There were some mistakes. Reread and edit, that usually works for me. When describing Layla, you use the word hair twice in a row. The first bit... Hm. Thee was some spelling mistake though I can remember what. Chemistry is spelled like I just spelled it, not Chemestry. There was one other thing that bugged me, and that was ah shit... I can't remember it all, but it was something like "I'm not in the best of shape ok." grammatically, it should be "I'm not I the best of shape, okay?" sorry. You're username told me to stake you... This is my review version of a stake.
Ah! There is sugar and SPICE and everything nice! (Except for strawberries, because I am a mutant and fucking hate those evil little red fuckers)
The kiss... Oh, how straightforward. I'm glad it's not a I'm-in-love-but-can't-say-it-and-I-don't-understand-that-you-don't-just-fall-in-love-like-that. (writing with those minus signs in between words if fucking hard. Well, I am using my phone.)
I can honestly say that this is one of the only two fics I got alerts for that I actually read. (The other one was Playing With Power by... Meh. Someone.) So yes, I am reasonably pleased with this fic as of late. Makes me want to get off my ass and write. (Glares at the notebook in lap)
Hm... I think that's all, and I am awaiting the next chapter. Rather impatiently, if I do say so.
Well, I do believe I'll see you next chapter. Unless an unfortunate tradgedy occurs on one end of this fic-link-thing-whatever you call it.
FUCK FRANKIE DONT DIE ON MEH! (Sont you love I automatically assume murder? Oh well...)