Mrs Porters face re-appears in the hallway, she eyes us out to make sure we're not planning anything else and I'm as informed as her so when her head is out sight I whisper to Blake, "Anything e-else?"
He shakes his head and squeezes my hand tightly, he sighs softly and we sit down on the grass under a tree in the courtyard.
His back is against the tree and his legs are spread out in front of him and my head is in his lap, I'm staring up into his beautiful golden eyes and they're like honeycomb, and they're melting me and suddenly it feels like I'm falling and I have to dig my fingers into the grass beneath me just to make sure.
"Talk to me" he says and it's barely a whisper,
"You m-make me so happy. I-I haven't been t-this way in a l-long time, I h-haven't s-smiled in a long time- since Joey d-died but then y-you come along and m-make me feel brand new"
He half-smiles and it's really cute,
"You need time to let go, to forget about all the pain and anger and sorrows and depression, you need time to be you again"
"Is I-it too soon t-though?"
"How long ago did he..."
"A li-little under a y-year ago"
He shakes his head, "Its okay to let go but it's up to you, when YOU'RE ready"
I bite the inside of my lip and it's bleeding and the blood tastes so strange as my tongue skates over the stitches on the outside of my lip, I frown.
"What's w-wrong?" I ask him
"You're gonna choose Criss over me arent you? I saw you and him yesterday..."
"Me and C-Criss had an awe-awesome time together b-but if I go o-out with him it's g-gonna be the s-same as las-last time and it's going t-to end badly. So no, I w-will not ch-choose Criss over you"
He leans down and kisses me softly and I can't help but wonder why are his lips so soft? Why does he smell so good? It's like all my senses have been enhanced and as we break apart I lick my lips slowly and he tastes good too.
I sigh and it's not a sad sigh, I'm smiling again.
"You're smile is beautiful, so are your eyes"
"Yeah! You know what they say about beautiful eyes right?"
"What's that then?"
"The most beautiful eyes have cried the most tears, they're beautiful because you've been through so much pain"
"That's yo-your t-theory"
"It's a fact!"
I nod sarcastically and he laughs and it's a soft, slow chuckle and he's the beautiful one, not me.