Gerard visits Mikey's house for the first time meeting his step mom and his little brother. The next few days he sleeps over for his birthday.
The next few weeks were awesome because I started staying after with Mikey, Monday through Thursday. I found out that Mikey was a writer also like me on one topic, David Bowie, of course! He already wrote some by never finished them, so he asked me if I wanted to help. “OF COURSE!! You know? These are really good,” I said, reading through as he explained to me the plot of the one he wanted me to help him write. “You wanna know what I write really good though?”
“Oh my! What? You have to tell me!”
“I write really good sex stories.”
“Yeah, I got a good story I wrote I’ll let you read. I know it’s really weird but it’s me.”
“Nah, it’s cool! Yeah, I’d love to read it. I forgot, you want to come over today after school?”
“Yeah, I just have to call my parents. Plus, I’ll have to tell them where they have to go to there and pick me up.”
The day proceeded and school was already over. I got on Mikey’s bus and went to his house filled with no one but a cat. He warmly greeted his cat and cleared the kitchen table to put our stuff down. “So, where’s everyone?” I asked.
“My step mom’s working and she won’t be home until 5 so…”
“Yeah, cool. My mom gets out at 4:30 so she’ll probably pick me up around 5.”
“Alright,” he said, before placing his notebook over for me to read what he recently wrote in his story.
I read it,” I love it!”
“So, you have that story with you?”
“Oh, YEP! Hold on!” I grabbed it out of my bad and handed it to him to read, waiting for his reaction.
“This is funny! I love it! Whoa! You’re a really good writer!” he smiled at me as handed me back my notebook.
“Thanks! You too!” he went back to writing. “Can I tell you something? Promise me you won’t get freaked out.”
“No, go ahead. You can tell me.”
“I kind of, well, I did… “I thought I should stop right there,” I kissed a guy.”
“I don’t know actually. Just felt like it. But I’m not gay I swear!”
He laughed as he continued listening. “You were just curious then.”
“But I made out with him. I know, it’s creepy. I hate him now though because he hurt me.
Physically and emotionally. His name was Bert but now I call him “asshole,” we laughed, “So I was in a depression before I met Jason and then you.”
“Awww, that sucks. Does Jason know?”
“Yeah, I told him a couple days ago. So now you know where some of my material in my writing comes from.”
“Guess so! So what should I add to this part?”
That conversation ended and I was glad. I only told that to the people I was closest to that I trusted. My trust was down real low. I had to let it out some because it was bottled tightly inside me. I liked telling about it but I was scared it might scare people off. I would’ve continued talking but Mikey’s step mom walking in. His step mom also had her son with her, Mikey’s little brother, Ray. He was cute. “Mikey, could you watch Ray as I get the stuff out of the car? Shit, Mikey! Why didn’t you wash the dishes?”
Mikey didn’t reply as he looked at me and watched as she walked out, “See what I mean? Yeah, my step mom can be a bitch at times.”
She walked back in and said, “Mikey watch him,” she pointed to Ray. He came running to Mikey, “So, who’s your new friend?”
I smiled up at her, she smiled back. “This is Gerard,” Mikey said.
“Hi, yeah, I’m Deana. Nice to meet you,” she introduced
“Hey! Nice to meet you too,” I replied sweetly.
“And you know already that that is Ray,” she said as she locked the door.
I giggled as she walked out and Mikey smiled at me as he played with Ray on his lap. “That’s so funny how your step mom’s name is Deana and my mom’s name is Donna.”
He laughed, “That is funny!”
We stayed mostly at his kitchen table, writing, talking, and fooling around. “Dude, you gotta meet my sister!” Mikey said, looking up from his writing.
“You have a sister too?” I asked, stopping my writing too.
“Yep, she’s cool! You’ll like her! She’s older than me.”
I counted in my head, so she’s older than 16. “Awesome!” was all I could say.
That night my parents called asking if I was ready to get picked up but Mikey begged for me to stay. He said, “There’s nothing better for me to do. At least I have company.”
With his step mom’s agreement, I stayed for a couple hours more. They had dinner, pork chops, but I told them they didn’t have to give me anything because I was probably going to go home and eat but Mikey forced me to eat. He said, “Eat! EAT!” But I felt bad. I hated taking food at other people’s houses because I felt weird, like I couldn’t give anything back. It was a cool time though, enjoyed it tons.
For the next couple of weeks, it was the same. The next time I went over Mikey’s house, I met his sister, Sara. I got off Mikey’s bus, with him by my side, and walked up his driveway to see her with her best friend smoking. Mikey was right, she was really cool. She had a sense of humor. Plus, she smoke, drank, wore makeup, heavy metal music (the kind they screamed like they were dying), anything a typical girl would like. She was like me in a way when it came down to thinking dirty. She would always talk to me about different things, so we got along really well. Another time I was with her was on Mikey’s 17th birthday. He asked for me to sleepover, and I knew it would be fun. But I knew his sister like me (not in that way) and we shared the same thoughts because once the cake was cue, Mikey handed our story over for her to read what I wrote. There were no more chairs left so I sat on Mikey’s lap. Yeah, his sister made fun of that too because she thought we were gay. Mikey started calling me his “husband” because we were supposed to be BFFs/husbands/and everything else. It was never meant that way though, it was just kind of to show we cared a lot about each other. As I finished my cake, she stopped reading and looked up shocked. I smiled, “Damn!” she said.
I was happy she liked it because she kept making comments on it. I had never had anyone read my stories I wrote because there were no people I knew that were offline who would like it and were like me and interested in that shit. It was crazy! She finished and looked up at me with a wide smile, “Damn! You sound good in bed!”
I laughed so hard I would’ve cried. It was the best compliment I’ve ever gotten on my writing. I had a good time that night too because it was like a huge sleepover. Me, Mikey, his sister, and her best friend all slept in one room since Mikey’s room was so warm. When we settled down, we watched the newest “Friday the 13th” as we each talked. Me and Mikey went on about our writings, “Your part to write is coming up right after I finish writing this scene.”
“Kay,” I said, smiling and going back to writing one of the stories he gave me to write.
By the time I was writing, my eyes were heavy and wanted to close. He looked tired too with only dim light of the TV. I know that when I get really tired, I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. It’s just gibberish. But it was good because I was writing a steamy sex part, so explicit words were being written on the paper with a laugh. I questioned myself all the time if I was bisexual because I always wrote about gay sex. I mean, I enjoyed writing, but I never understood myself. The words I felt bad always writing in the scenes were “cock” or “dick.” It just didn’t feel right. But this night I just wrote them, I didn’t care how I felt.
“Cock, cock,” Mikey kept repeating as he lay near my side as I wrote.
“I like that word. A lot.” I said, almost drunk, because I sure felt like it.
I knew I’d go to hell one day for the things I’ve done, said, or written. “Me too,” we laughed as Mikey stared up at the TV.
I looked up, hmm, MTV, I thought. His sister got mad a couple of times because we were still up and talking so I piped down a bit; especially with my laugh. I handed Mikey the notebook as soon as I finished. I waited for him to read it for a few minutes because it was so long. “I fucking love this,” he said, handing it back to me. “You’re so good at that.”
“You’re very welcome, Gerard.”
With that, we just watched TV, hit each other with his stuffed animals and laid in the dark near the moonlit open window at almost 4 or 5, until we finally fell asleep.
The next morning, I woke up stiff with Mikey opening his eyes and greeting me. He got up to wake up his sister for work. It was a crazy time too, almost 6. Maybe before then? I was still in a daze, “How come you wake up so early on the weekends?” I asked as he walked downstairs after his sister.
“MIKEY!! COME DOWN AND WATCH RAY FOR ME!!” his step mom yelled, getting angrier by the second.
“There you go. That explains it. She goes to work and I have to stay home and watch Ray,” Mikey explained.
“Ahhh, I see.”
I felt bad for Mikey. I suddenly realized how lucky I was to not have to get up everyday so early and sleep in until 2. I laughed quietly to myself. He went to get Ray and get him ready as his step mom and sister got all their stuff together and was soon out the door.
“You want something to eat?” Mikey asked.
“Nah, I’m good, thanks,” I said. I really wasn’t hungry, it wasn’t a lie.
“You have to eat something. I don’t care. You’re eating,” he pressed.
“Okay, but I’m really not hungry.”
Ray walked in the kitchen and started running around, I laughed. Mikey ran after him and picked him up, fooling around with him as I stared with a smile. He smiled back and said he had to go fix Ray up for whatever he was doing. I went into the living room and put my hood up, staring into space as I though about Mikey. I was cold, but it didn’t matter. I thought and asked myself, do I like Mikey? Of course I liked him as a best friend, but did I like him as something more? The feeling was weird because I never though of anyone else that way as I did of Bert. Fuck Bert. He could go fuck himself for all I care. I never thought about him that way anymore. Not even until the day I died.
Mikey walked in the room with no Ray and said, “So, what’s my husband doing?” and sat down on the couch across from me. I hated that because I actually did like him close to me.
“Mm, nothing. Just thinking,” I said, peering under my hood.
I thought to myself, should I go sit next to him and cuddle just by putting my head on his shoulder? What if he pushed me away? I didn’t want to get hurt again. I knew myself. I wouldn’t have the balls to do it. I mean he always did it to me, so what was the big deal, JUST DO IT! FUCKING DO IT ALREADY! I finally got up and sat next to Mikey, “I’m sorry but I’m freezing and I gotta lean on you.”
He giggled as I placed my head on his shoulder, feeling accomplished and not so much of a pussy. I was even happier though when Mikey laid his head on mine. For once I had felt so loved and safe. Later on in that day, my parents came and picked me up. I never wanted to leave him. I loved being with him. It was amazing.