Gerard calls up Mikey to tell him about what happened.
When I got home, my father was there as usual. I walked straight in, grabbed the phone, closed the door, and turned on my computer. I typed to Mikey: I’m calling you.
Once he got it, he replied: Yep!
When I called him I heard his voice and immediately broke out, “Hi… Mikey….” The tears started pouring.
“Oh my god, what happened?” he worried.
“Baby, I love you…” I sobbed harder.
“I love you too. So much. Please, tell me what happened.”
“What happened? What about Bert? Did he do something?”
“Yes… It’s so hard to tell.” I tried crying softly afraid my father would step in my door.
“Did he hurt you?”
I hesitated to tell him but I knew honesty was a big part of a relationship. “H-he… Oh my god…”
“Just calm down, tell me. It’ll be okay.”
I continued, still sobbing. “He told me he wanted to show me something and I trusted him. But he told me to close my eyes and it wasn’t bad. So, he took me to one of the music classes where the acoustic guitars were. And…”
“Yeah. Go on.”
I couldn’t get it all out I was crying so hard, my breath short. “So, he started putting his hands around my waist and kissing my neck.”
“Oh god. Did you ask what or why he was doing that?”
“Yeah, and he whispered ‘Us.’ I’m so scared, Mikey.”
“Don’t be scared, love. Talk it out. Did anything else happen?”
This sucked. The hardest part to tell. “Yeah… He told me he wanted two things. But if I didn’t do them, bad things would happen.”
“What kind of bad things, Gerard?”
“He said he would… um…”
“He would what?”
“… Tell you that I cheated on you.”
He was silent for a second. “I wouldn’t believe him though.”
“I told him that. But he said he’d tell everyone about us and the lie and it would get around to you. He said he’d make sure it got to you.”
“Don’t worry, babe. So, what did he do?”
“He started kissing me and pulling down my jeans. I swear I never gave in. I love you so much. I would never do that.”
“I know you wouldn’t. I love you too. He did that? Wow.”
“Yeah, his hands were rubbing me off. It’s disgusting for me to even think about it again.”
“I wish you were here. So bad. I miss you so much you don’t even know.”
“Same here. One more thing and then you don’t have to think about it anymore. How long did he do it for?”
“It’s alright. I’m more relaxed when I talk to you. Umm, well, the kissing was for awhile, so was that bad hand job he gave me.” We laughed at the name. “I mean, I’m not going to lie, it was getting me a bit hard,” I laughed. “It’s been awhile that’s why, but I fought it off. It was like he wanted me to go after him to get more. ‘Cause he stopped and said ‘Think about it.’”
“Hmm… That does sound like that. Weird! He’s probably doing that to scare you.”
“Probably. So…”My sobs were done, just the hiccups were forming. “Thank you for listening. I didn’t want you hurt. That’s the only reason I let him do it.”
“Your welcome. Thank YOU though, because you did it for me. I love you. I’m always here for you.”
“No problem, baby. I love you too.”
“So, are you going to stay away from him or confront him?”
“I might stay away right now, because I’m still nervous, but one time I’ll confront him when I have it in me.”
“So…” I started to smile, my hiccups almost cured. “How are you, baby?”
“Ahh, I’m good. Going crazy. My uncle is my new best friend.”
“That’s good. I’m very glad that you’re happy.”
A slight pang hit my heart. “How come?”
“Don’t know. Friendless and I miss you way too much.”
“I miss you too. Don’t worry, you’ll make friends.”
“Like a few. I don’t know though.”
“Well, it is your last year. Make a few new friends and then… I don’t know. I’ll catch up with you.”
He laughed, “But I don’t want to.”
“If you don’t have any friends though, are you going to be alright?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine… Plus all I do is write.”
“That’s what sucks. I really wish you were here still. I must ask you. Why didn’t you stay up here for your last year? Sorry to ask. You don’t have to tell me, it’s just… I would’ve begged you to stay.”
“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Um, I don’t know. I really wanted to leave. I needed a change of scenery and a new start. I needed to get away from my step mom. It goes on.”
“Ah, I see. Yeah, I agree. I still wish I was older. Just a little bit older at least.” I laughed.
“I knew you’d say that. You know why. I could take you with me to do what I want to do in life.”
“That is true, I guess.”
As I sat there I wondered more and more about Mikey. Maybe he didn’t love me anymore. Maybe he didn’t plan on staying with me for a long time. “In that sense, we’d live together. That’s what I was targeting. Just didn’t want to make it obvious.” I could hear the smile in my voice.
He was almost scaring me. “Oh, c’mon. I’ll be your David Bowie.” Here I went flirting again. I loved trying to picture him with a smile. He didn’t reply for a couple of minutes which made me worry. “Was what I said too much?”
“Mikey, what can I do to make you happy? I love you so much, I miss you. I want you to be happy. I’d do anything. “
“It’s a complicated thing… I’m happy, just not crazily happy. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“I see. I know how you feel. Well, how can I get things off your mind?” There I went again, talking almost dirty.
“I don’t know.” He replied, not getting the joke.
I laughed again. “I was waiting for you to say something different. I’m just joking around with you. I’m not sure either. You’re too far.”
“Yeah, I’m weird. I’m weird about you too.” He laughed. “I should probably stop everything I say. Because it’s dirty talk. Sorry.”
“I’m not going to lie. I always think of you that way. I just think of what it would be like again. Sorry, I’m fucked up.”
“I know, it’s okay. Damn, my phone is dying.”
While his phone died out, we chatted and emailed each other until we got tired and I went to bed, thinking again just of Mikey.