A phone call in the middle of the night.
When I woke, it was still dark. My room was only illuminated by the soft glow of my alarm clock and the orangey light of the street lights seeping in from outside. My clock blared the numbers 4:23 at me.
I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling, suddenly wide awake.
I could still feel the tracks the tears had left down my face and smell the faint scent of Gerard after he'd sat with me for so long. It was comforting, slightly.
As I lay there, my thoughts wondered to Frank, when he'd kissed my forehead earlier. It was such a simple gesture, probably nothing, but still it left me thinking...what if? What if it was his way of telling me he liked me? It couldn't be though, why would someone as perfect as Frank like me?
Just as I was pondering this my cell phone rang, Manic Street Preachers floating softly into the depths of my room. I jumped slightly before reaching out and picking my phone up from my bedside table, flipping it open and placing the receiver against my ear.
'Hello?' I whispered. A tired sigh emitted from the other end of the line.
'Mikey, hey. How are you?' Frank asked. My stomach clenched a little as I exhaled slightly shakily. Franks voice caused me a comfort I couldn't explain but also a agitation I couldn't fathom nor deny. I have a strong feeling it's because of the powerful hold the boy has on me.
'I'm -yeah, I'm....okay, I guess,' I said, not really sure of the answer myself.
'Mikey, you're not,' Frank stated simply, causing my stomach to drop slightly, 'I've never seen you like you were earlier. What did they do to you, Mikes?' My stomach and my heart rose at the emotion Frank spoke with, the caring.
'Frank I-I can't say it over the phone,' I replied quietly. I could hear Frank sigh as I rolled over onto my side and into the foetal position, phone resting between my ear and the pillow.
'Mikey, I'm so worried about you. I can't fucking sleep you prick,' Frank breathed. I let out a small laugh as the corners of my mouth turned up involuntarily.
'Well I'm sorry I'm such an inconvenience,' I replied. Frank stopped his soft giggling abruptly.
'You'd never be an inconvenience Mikey, got that?' Frank said sincerely. My heart rose. Frank meant it, I know he did. I could practically feel the intense gaze his russetty eyes would be giving me right now.
That's a good word for Frank; intense. Everything about that boy, my best friend, is intense. Not specifically good or bad, both.
I realised had no idea how to reply to Franks previous statement.
'Okay,' I whispered uncertainly after a pause.
'Good,' was all Frank said in reply.
I just lay there, staring at the Anthrax poster on the back of my door and listening to Franks steady breathing.
'Mikes, do you think you're gonna be in school tomorrow?' he asked quietly. My stomach churned at the thought of the long corridors, the bustling students, droning teachers. It made me feel sick, trapped.
'I-I don't know Frank, I don't know if I can,' I say, voice cracking slightly.
'Oh Mikey. You don't have to. Jesus, sorry. I can't imagine how you feel...' Frank said softly. My heart fluttered.
'Frank, you don't have to. You...you don't want to.' I heard Franks delicate sigh on the end of the line, but he didn't say anything. I stayed staring at the poster in the dim light of my room, wondering what to say, whether to just tell him what happened to me, tell him how I feel. I mean, what harm can it do? He wont judge me for what happened to me, I know he wont, he's Frank.
If i tell him how I feel, he might even feel the same way about me.
No. There's no way, no hope in hell he feels the same. I decide to mention neither.
'Can we just...talk?' I ask.
'Of course we can Mikey, what about?' I let out a deep sigh I didn't know I'd been holding in.
'Anything. What gigs you're going to in the next month, how much your mum yelled at you last time you came home stoned, how amazing you are at guitar, anything.' Frank laughed into the phone and my stomach flipped. His stupid laugh.
'Mikey, you make me sound like such an arrogant rebel!' Frank gasped, mocking shock. I choked out a laugh.
'You are, Frank,' I replied. He gasped again.
'How dare you! I'll have you know, I'm the most well behaved young man within a fifty mile radius.' I snorted, a warm comforting feeling seeping though me at Franks usual sarcastic and cocky words.
I didn't say anything in reply, just smiled gently into my room.
'Three,' Frank said suddenly.
'Three what?' I asked confused.
'Three gigs in the next month, silly. Lostalone on the thirteenth, Cage The Elephant on the twenty seventh and Thrice in the thirtieth.'
My smile grew. Frank had always loved music, it made him, him.
'Sweet. I bet they'll all be awesome,' I replied.
'Mikey?' Frank asked after a short period of silence.
'Do you want me to skip school and come over to keep you company tomorrow?' he asked. I let out a shaky sigh.
'No, Frank, you can't. If you get in any more shit with school, you might get expelled and your mum would kill you. Besides, I have Gerard, I'll be fine.' Frank stayed silent for a moment.
'No Mikey, fuck the school and fuck my mum, and Gerard has shitloads of artwork to do for his course, he can't spend all day with you. I'm coming over at 10am sharp and don't think you're stopping me, Michael Way.' I smiled at Franks determination. I do want him to come, but I'm nervous about telling him what happened to me. I still don't know if I can.
'Okay Frank,' is all I say.
'Good,' comes his reply, followed by a yawn.
'Go to sleep,' I say, 'I'll do the same and I'll see you at 10am tomorrow, yeah?' Frank sighed.
'Yeah. It's your fucking fault I'm so tired anyway,' he said. I could ear the slight smirk in his voice.
'Yeah yeah, night Frank,' I said.
'I love you,' I whispered, unsure of what he would make of it. My heart sped up when he replied with a defiant,
'I love you too,' before he hung up.
I closed my eyes, stomach spinning wildly.
It didn't take long for me to drift off to sleep again, phone still pressed to my ear.