Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > cause love isn't about affection, it's about leadership1 Reviews
"til we're safe from the wounds of desire and pain, you must rise from the mounds of desire and change"
I could hear the warmth escaping the jacket and everything went cold.
That would include me- I felt callous and vacuous, something I hadn’t seen coming. I was caught off guard, I hadn’t prepared well enough.
so this is what it’s like. I hadn’t expected anything glorious, anything over-whelming, but it would be a lie to say I wasn’t disappointed. Sure there had to be something more into this.
Maybe it was the darkness, they weren’t drawn to it. In fact, most of them seemed to find it aversive, and some even frightening and ominous.
I stood up. My knees felt weak and my head was pounding. I wasn’t strong and unharmable and my senses seemed to grow weaker each passing second. I smelled nothing. Maybe there was nothing there to smell?
My once sharp eyesight had turned into more or less of a blur, and I couldn’t identify some of the objects I perceived.
A dark figure was approaching me, and a wave of realization washed over me. I was powerless, I was fragile, I was breakable.
I waited for the fear to catch up with me, it was a part of the drill wasn’t it? And the adrenaline, I really looked forward to that one.
The figure was only a few feet away from me when I decided I was going to have to work on it; perhaps a sense of self protection was something that would form within time.
I stared inquisitively at the figure, which had now started to get an actual shape.
I was going to miss my eyesight. It was indeed a man, and he looked just about as curious as I.
“you ok?” I heard him ask. I was delighted to find out I could understand him.
“I am” I responded, aware that I sounded like a foreigner. No one could pull off an accent like his in a matter of seconds.
“it’s cold you know” he stated, making me playfully doubt the intelligence of his race.
My race, I should say. It’s not like I haven’t been here before.
“I know” I replied and smiled. Am I creating a social life? Is this the part where the small talk comes in?
”I like pancakes” I tried, and smiled again.
A mix of emotions played hide and seek on his features, I could tell he was altogether bewildered, confused and amused.
“Me too” He finally choked out and a smirk slowly spread across his face.
Great, I was good at this. I knew it couldn’t be all that difficult but hey, where’s the challenge?
He shifted his weight from a foot to the other and absent-mindedly ran his hand through his hair.
“You live here?” he asked. I made a mental note to follow his example and drop out all the do’s from my lines. I wasn’t familiar with this slang.
“yes, sort of. Where you live?” Fantastic, I groaned. Now I sound like a Vietnamese immigrant.
“uhm.. I, ugh, I live here” he muttered. Uhm and ugh, these were words I’d never heard before. Maybe they weren’t even words, he looked uncomfortable and it was highly likely that he was just staggering.
“here?” I repeated, looking around for the first time. I stood still on someone’s, supposedly this man’s, front lawn. Embarrassment struck me like a lightning, the feeling was way more intensive than what I was used to.
“I’m sorry” I muttered and took a few steps backwards, in attempt to run away.
“hey, that’s ok, it just had me wondering, that’s all” he hurried to explain, one arm cautiously raised in my direction.
“It’s really cold” I said, repeating his earlier statement.
“Yes, it sure is” He agreed.
“How ‘bout some pancakes, I know a nice 24/7 diner just ‘round the corner” he said with a warm smile. Friendliness was radiating off of him.
“Sure. I like pancakes” I said, before remembering I’d already told him that. I felt like a little, stupid, undeveloped child. A retard who could only bring herself to repeat the same lines, stating the obvious over and over again.
I wonder what he thought of me.
“I know, and these are good ones, I’m telling you” he smiled and gestured me to start walking.
I walked about two feet from him, letting the silence fill up the empty space between us. I felt stupid, cold, weak, faint and confused but it simply wasn’t enough to make me regret my decision.
What’s there to lose?