"I’m afraid we got some bad news today Gerard.", said Franks dad slowly.
I was awoken from my slumber by my phone. 'Die, Die my Darling' burst out the speakers as my phone vibrated around my desk. I picked it up and put it to my ear.
"Hello?", said the voice on the other line
"hmm?", I said sleepily, rubbing my eye and yawning.
"Hello, Its Franks dad. I think you should come over."
"Why?", I yawned. "Is everything okay?", Frankie’s dad sounded worried.
"Okay, I‘ll be over in 10"
We said our goodbyes and I began to get dressed. I looked at the clock and realised I’d slept though most of the day! What a waste. I sprayed deodorant collecting my phone and heading to Franks.
I knocked on the door
"Hello Gerard. Come with me...", was Mr Iero’s rather rushed welcome.
Mr Iero took me through to the kitchen and motioned for me to sit down. I took a seat, as did he, and looked at him.
"I’m afraid we got some bad news today Gerard.", said Franks dad slowly.
Anxiety rushed through me. What had happened? "What is it? What’s happened!?", I said a little louder that I had meant to.
"I‘m sorry to tell you this but… Frank has lung cancer"
These words hit me like a brick wall. Frank couldn’t have cancer! He just couldn’t!
Franks dad seamed to read my mind and said, "We went to the hospital and had some x-rays done so I‘m afraid its true"
Mr Iero then stood up and led me upstairs. When we got up there, we stood outside Franks bedroom door.
"I think… just you should go in.", Frank's dad said quietly.
I opened the door and walked in.
Frank was lying on his bed curled in a ball. He appeared to be sleeping but his breathing was too fast.
I sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Frankie...", I whispered, as I saw a tear trickle down his cheek.
"What?", he said, his voice thick.
"Are you okay?", it was only thing I could think of to say.
Frank looked at me as if I was the biggest idiot he'd ever met.
"Of course I‘m not o-fucking-kay", he said quietly. "Are you fucking kidding me…"
"I'm sorry… I don't know what to say…", I whispered, biting my lip.
"Tell me what to do, Gee. Tell me what I do…", begged Frankie, taking hold of my arm. He wasn't bothering rubbing away the tears now, leaving them to run down his face.
"I don't know Frank." I sighed, holding back my own tears. I felt awful. I don’t know why but I blamed myself for this. I wish I could turn back time and stop this from ever happening.
I hugged Frankie. After a couple of seconds I pulled away
"Let’s watch a movie or something.", I mumbled.
He nodded. Frankie stood up to put the TV on. I couldn't help but stare at him, as he leaned against the wall, fiddling with the tele buttons. I felt terrible.
"Stop it Gerard. I know your staring" He said gruffly.
I immediately looked away.
Frank sat down next to me. I bit my lip. It was weird. All this was so surreal…
After an hour or so, I picked up the courage to start talking to him.
"H-how did… you find out?"
"I had a coughing fit this morning. So my dad took me to the doctors and they…", sighed Frank.
"Are you angry at me?" I asked timidly. I don’t know what made me say it but it just came out.
"Why would I be angry at you Gerard!? It‘s my own fault… I shouldn‘t have started smoking…", he mumbled looking away.
I moved in and hugged him again. I held him for what seemed like hours. Tears started to fall down my face.
"I need to get my head round all this…"
I released myself from Franks grasp and stood up.
"I'll come back tomorrow. I need to go home and think this through. I promise I will be back"
I got up and went to the door. I left him on the bed sobbing.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I felt his rough hands round my neck strangling me, as he hit me to the wall.
"A fucking faggot! My son…"
My dad was sickened. Disgusted. By me and Frank.
While I had been at franks, the nosey bastard had been rummaging round my room and he had come across some papers. Love notes from Frank or to Frank, doodles I had done of Franks name. My dad wasn't stupid (well, not that stupid), he worked out what it meant. And he was sickened. The bloody dickhead was ranging.
"You will not be a fucking fairy!"
"I can't help what I am!" I yelled
"Fucking fairy. I can't stand the sight of you…"
"Put me down! I love Frank! I can’t help it!"
My dad began to hit me against the wall. My brain swam randomly round my aching head.
He dropped me.
"I can't bear to look at you, you disgusting mistake!"
And he left. He walked out the door, and left me a bleeding mess. I pressed the palm of my hand against the back of my head. Blood. I was bleeding. Just a few specks. Not enough to worry about. This wouldn’t have happened if mum or Mikey had been home. I sighed a breath of relief and went to my bedroom. I had a plan…
But first, I had to get something out…
Just to let out some anger, you know?
I wrapped the bandage round the new slits in my arm.
God, I've messed everything up. But I'm going to sort it out now.
I walked to the kitchen and placed a letter on the kitchen table.
The letter read:
Dear Mum and Mikey
By the time you read this, I will be gone.
There's something you should know. I'm Gay. Frank, the guy I have round constantly, isn't just my best friend, he my boyfriend.
I know dad rejected me, so I've made this easy for everyone.
And I will still be going to school.
Please, don't try to find me, but I'm safe.
Love, Gerard Arthur Way
I grabbed my packed bags and walked out the door and up the road. I knew where I was going. I had to, so my family can cool off to the idea of a gay son. The thought of my dad fuming as he read the letter stuck in my brain uncomfortably.
I've left my family. I really have. I've left mum and Mikey. Mum and Mikey… I don't want to hurt them, but as long as I stay with Dad knowing about me and Frank, their lives will be just as shit as mine would be. I know they wouldn't have wanted me to leave, but I just have to.
But really, I'm not losing a family. I was never really that close to them, except Mikey. But I'm not losing a family… I'm gaining a new one.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I knocked on Franks door. I crossed my heart and prayed to god it wouldn't be his dad. Not that I didn't like him. His dad rocks! He's such a cool guy! The totally opposite of my dad. I got my wish.
"Gerard?", said a slightly shocked Frank. Tear tracks still stained him face.
"Frankie. I left home. To be with you", I said honestly.
Frankie turned in to a fish; Big eyes, mouth wide open.
"Gerard, you can't-"
"Yes I can! If you are in this mess then so am I. Please let me stay with you"
"If it'll make my son happy, then yes.", smiled Mr Iero who had appeared in the doorway.
"Thanks dad. I need this" Replied Frank.
I smiled at them both, making Mr Iero smile, he looked like he needed to.
"You're a good kid, Gerard." Smiled Mr Iero.
This was brilliant! I'm getting what I always wanted- To always be with Frank.
We moved an old mattress into Frank's room, and turned it into my new bed. Frank ever put a Misfits duvet cover on it.
We would spend a lot of time in Frank's room over the passing days. Watching horrors (I hadn't left home without most of my DVD collection.) and playing PS3 games. Ever a strange bongo version of guitar hero!
It sounds like it was all easy and fun. But it wasn't… Frankie had to decide whether he wanted to get the operation to remove the tumour on his right lung. It was a to be a 13-hour surgery. He would then be in hospital up to for 40 days after. But if the growth came back, He would have to have surgery again then radiation or chemotherapy on the area.
"Right, Boys.", sighed Mr Iero, after I'd been staying with them for 2 days. "You needs to seriously decide what you‘re going to…", he said, looking at Frankie.
"Dad, I don't know…" Frank took a deep breath, "I‘m scared… of what might happen…"
I saw some colour drain from Frank's Dad's face.
"Frank, we‘ve talked about this…" He said calmly.
"I know! But it could happen couldn’t it!?"
I knew what they were talking about. There were additional complications that would put great strain on Frankie which would lower his chances of surviving the operation. This terrified me. I don’t think I could bear living without Frank…
While this was going on in my head, Frank and his dad had finished their argument. Both me and Mr Iero wer staring at Frank, waiting for a decision. Frank was loking down at the table, biting his lip ring.
Then, "Okay, I will.", said a tiny voice.
I jumped up and hugged Frankie. I felt happy but terrible sad at the same time. What if everything went wrong…?