Fuck! My head hurts. Really bad. What just happened?!
I regain only semi-blurred vision back as I look around. I ruined Mikey's life completely. That's what happened! I glance at my surroundings and see the grey school wall across parallel to the roadside. They left me here. Not that I can blame. I would have done the same.
I feel my nose and wipe away the oozing blood and hold my sleeve up to it. I stood up a bit shaky but I started to walk home anyway. When I made it home, I realised I was only out for about 20 minutes. I burst in through the door and of course my mother caught sight of me and relentlessly asked questions about how I got a possibly broken nose. I just said I fell on the way home from school. My mom was okay with me cutting school. She just never had an interest in school herself and didn't exactly encourage but, My dad... Not so much. He was a businessman and encouraged me to improve my grades and things. But he was at work now.
I went up to my room to think things through, over-analysising things way too much. Then I remembered the funeral was on this afternoon. Should I show up or will that just make a scene? I want Mikey to know I do care but as much as I want Gerard to know that too, I know he wouldn't be so easy to be forgiven by.
I decided I should go. Mikey needs it and All I could do is hope that Gerard doesn't start anything. I texted Gerard to tell him I was Going to the funeral. Shortly after I sent it I received this off putting message:
'Show your face round again and I will smash your face to pieces'
I knew I had to go though. I said I would and I wanted to. Gerard might not want me around but I just want to know how Mikey is and to apologise to him.
Time came closer and closer to the funeral and I got ready wearing my respectful shirt and tie. I left the house ten minutes early even though the drive was short. I wanted to talk to them. I need to talk to them. When I pulled into the church and walked in, I saw the two and their mother who was crying rapidly. There were some others too but not much. It was early yet and well... The man I'm sure wasn't popular with many.
I started slowly down the walkway quickening the pace of my feet as I got more and more anxious.
I reached them and I lightly tapped Mikey's shoulder who turned around in surprise and the fear. Gerard's face lit up with anger and fury from the fact that I ignored his message and then decided to show up.
"Hey Mikey." I started ignoring Gerard's glares and threatening eyes. Mikey just sat still too terrified to talk or look me in the eye in case Gerard gave out to him.
"I just wanted to apologise for earlier. I didn't mean to do that. I just did. And-"
"That's enough!" Gerard cut me off startling a few others around us.
I did what I was told not wanting to make an argument out of it and I turned and sat in a couple of rows behind them.
Who I thought was their mother, came out of a side room and sat next to them in the front row. It wasn't a full house at all and many of the attenders were probably there just for the mass I'm sure. The coffin was brought down the aisle and put onto the alter. The mass had started and well I wasn't a great believer in God myself after seeing the tragedies of Mikey Way so soon enough my thoughts went else where thinking of my later actions.
I couldn't decide if I should try to approach Mikey about it later without Gerard or should I just go up to them no matter if Gerard is waiting to give me another slap or punch. Of course Gerard is going to be waiting for me to turn up infront of them. He's not going to let Mikey out of his sight ever again.
I looked up to see Mikey shaking and Gerard with an arm around him. Was Mikey upset over his father? I doubt it but what else could it be?
It was me! I said something. I know I did. But what was it?...
The mass service ended quickly enough and Gerard led Mikey out of there pretty fast. Not even wanting to lift the coffin out to the hearse. I disappeared from the place too looking for them.
I saw them over at a wall seperating the church gardens from the grimy street.
"Uh..." I started off with. Great! "I just wanted to say sorry again for everything that happened and I understand if you don't want to talk to me ever just know that I'm so sorry and really didn't mean to hurt either of your feelings." I managed to get out after not even thinking about what to say.
Gerard gritted his teeth and held Mikey protectively. Mikey had red eyes from crying and was just staring at the ground intensely.
"Just leave Frank before you piss me off even more. I could tell Mikey was silently crying and sobbing so I just turned to be greeted by the hearse pulling out of the gates and small amount of followers behind it. I looked back at Mikey who was walking away with Gerard, head bowed.
I got into my car and drove home. Thinking about everything I took Gerard's advice and decided to leave them alone I mean Gerard was Mikey's brother. I was just... a friend who used him as Gerard thought. But I didn't. I wasn't using him. And I wanted to be with him but now I will just have to stay clear of them. And leave them solve their own problems. But how on earth could I leave an abused, confused, angst-ridden 15 year old boy who I loved with his older brother who beat up people infront of him for his own 'safety'?! I was beginning to doubt Gerard.
A couple of days had passed and I had no contact with them. The odd time I would pass Mikey in the corridor but he never looked at me. Yet I could still see the hurt in his eyes. Gerard moved seats in class to across the room so I definitley couldn't talk to him. Get over it Frankie! They're better off without you.
Wednesday afternoon, I was just packing up my stuff to move onto the next class. I hadn't seen either of the Ways at all. ( You can guess I'm definitly over it all!) Until I was tapped on the back by none other Gerard. The last guy on the list I thought didn't want to talk to me. Ever!
I stated at him waiting for him to speak. I could see the uncomfortableness (A/N:Is that a word?) in his eyes and he kept his empty stare at the wall behind me or at the floor.
"Um... Frank. I wanted to say sorry for punching you. I really shouldn't have. You definitly didn't deserve that." He rushed out of his mouth trying to get the conversation over and done with.
"It's okay. I think I did deserve it. I dont think I should have kissed Mikey. He obviously wasn't ready for a relationship. I was just being selfish." I apologise instead.
"Well. I don't think Mikey sees it that way."
"What do you mean?" I asked him confused.
"Well... In the last few days he's stopped eating, talking, sleeping even! He isn't even in school today. I've asked him about it but he doesn't reply to me. At the church he was crying because you said you didn't mean to kiss him and now he thinks you regret it." Gerard admits and I'm surprised he hasn't added his own opinion to it. But I guess that's Gerard! He just doesn't want to be fighting if it's not what Mikey wants.
"Oh..." Right now I'm speechless. "Thanks Gerard but I think if I was to help I would just make things worse."
"But he needs you Frankie. I need you too. I just want both of you back and I know you can help. I think you should talk to him sometime" Gerard all but pleads to me. I could hear the desperation in his voice and the insomnia in the black soot rings around his eyes that I'm sure he shares with Mikey. I thought about it for a few seconds and agreed to help him no doubt. Maybe... Just maybe we could fix all of us up but mainly Mikey.
Gerard grinned with delight but then it disappears just as quick when he's shoved a bit by some other guy and we just realised we had to change classes still.
Gerard asked me over to his house tomorrow after school obviously to talk to Mikey and I was nervous but I looked forward to seeing his face. His beautiful, strong face able to cover all the problems and trauma in his life. I think this could work out if we try hard.
Sorry for no update last night but I'm sleep deprived! So that's why this is early than usual! Anyway I hope you enjoy it. I feel that this chapter is all a little rushed also the story too so give me your thoughts and suggestions to help with that! Thank you for reading. Please leave a review and rate the chapter! :) :) :) I feel the need for three smiley faces! Ugh I'm in a weird mood. Okay let's shut up now.