Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Blinded by Misery

I never meant to

by imashamally 1 review


Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Fantasy,Romance - Characters: Gerard Way - Warnings: [!!] [!!!] [Y] - Published: 2012-04-23 - Updated: 2012-04-24 - 1521 words

"Fuck." I jumped back out into the hallway.
"I'm so sorry." Apparently those were not Gerard's clothes at the foot of the steps but instead were his brothers.
"I told you to lock the door Mikey." I could hear Alicia nagging at him from inside Gerard's room. I could hear their footsteps pattering around on the floor as they I guessed got dressed. I had my eyes covered and was breathing heavily when I realized I had just seen both of them naked. My possible future brother and sister-in-law, naked, making love in Gerard's bed where we had made love plenty of times.
"Shit, what are you doing here?" Mikey had pulled on boxers and a shirt as Alicia hid behind him in her bra and panties. "Fuck, you are soaked."
" was looking for Gerard, you know to talk." I stumbled over my words still feeling embarrassed for walking in on them.
"Um Gerard actually went to the club. He said something about looking to talk to Des about a new rehearsal schedule or something." Mikey started scratching the back of his neck like Gerard did when he was nervous. "Oh." I looked down at my feet feeling awkward and disappointed. "Well, I'll just leave you two to what you were doing a few minutes ago." I turned to walk away but Alicia grabbed my arm.
"Did you walk here?" I glanced at him and water was dripping from my clothes all over the floor and from my sopping wet hair. I nodded my head and turned to leave.
"Wait, you need to get out of those clothes before you get sick." He said reaching for me but I backed away slowly. I shook my head no before turning away from them.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" She noticed tears beginning to form in my eyes. I shook my head and pulled away from her gently and began walking down the stairs. As I hit the bottom of the steps Mikey yelled over the balcony.
"Chrys, we know." He said loud enough for me to hear over my music blaring in my ears. I halted in the foyer and took the ear plugs from my ears quickly. I turned around slowly with tears streaming down my face.
"I never meant for any of this to happen." I whispered softly. "I love him." I collapsed on my knees and buried my face in my hands as I wailed.
"Sh, it's okay." Alicia had run down the stairs and gathered me in her arms. "Sh. I know." She continued mumbling those familiar words like my mother would to me in my ear. "Everything is going to be alright." Mikey was pacing around the foyer in front of us either upset or furious.
"I... love ...Gerard. I really do." I kept crying into her shoulder feeling myself shiver and my teeth chatter on her bones. I kept crying until my head became so light the room started spinning around me. I felt myself being taken in Mikey's arms as he traveled down the hall with Alicia behind him.
"We gotta get her in something dry. She is going to lose it." Mikey said to her calmly.
"No...I'" I scrambled my words together quickly as my teeth wouldn't let me speak.
"No you're not. Come on, get out of those clothes." Mikey sat me down on the counter and left. Alicia began stripping me and throwing my wet clothes in the sink on the other side of me.
"You must really love him to walk in forty degree weather and rain at this time." She said barely above a whisper that I had to strain my ears to hear her. I didn't say anything back but let her undress me until I sat in my bra and boy shorts. There was an awkward silence that fell between us.
"'re seventeen. Those are fun years." She gave me a small smile as she rubbed my arms up and down. I just shook my head and began crying again. She hugged me to her body letting her body heat radiate onto me.
" Ger...ard me?" I sobbed.
"No." That was all she said until we broke apart upon hearing the loud slam of the front door.
"That will be Gerard." Alicia stared into my face and ran her thumb along my cheekbones.
"I'm going to throw on a robe and take Mikey upstairs. Okay?" She said as she pulled a robe from the linen closet before turning around to face me.
"As soon as you hear the door upstairs being shut, come out and talk to Gee." She gave me an encouraging hug before opening the door.
"Alicia..." I stopped her as my hand gripped hers. "Please don't." I begged her with tears forming.
"It's going to be alright. Just do it." She left me in the bathroom. I waited a few moments until I heard the door upstairs being shut. I turned off the bathroom light and walked out in just my bra and boy shorts. I noticed there were no lights on except for the light of the television in the den. I couldn't even hear my feet padding across the floor because my heart was beating so loud. I stepped onto soft, plush carpet and saw Gerard sitting on the sofa with his head thrown back and a cigarette between his lips. He looked so stressed and tired. He was still dressed in a white dress shirt with a black blazer and black trousers. I sniffled and he slowly began to speak.
"Mikey...go away. I'm not in the mood." He puffed and blew the smoke out.
"I'm not either." I whispered softly as I stood directly in front of his knees. He shot his head up from the back of the couch and stared.
"Hi." I shyly stated as I rubbed my arms up and down feeling goosebumps rise as he stared at my nude body.
"Where are your clothes? Go put them on." He sounded agitated.
"They are wet. Alicia made me take them off." I whispered as I took a step closer to touch him even though I wanted him to make the first move. His hand shot up through the darkness and I paused.
"How do you think I feel? How do you think it feels to know I can't have you because you're seventeen? Why are you such a stupid little girl? Huh?" He began to shout as I flinched and felt tears sliding down my face.
"I didn't... I didn't mean to." I cowered and backed all the way up until I hit the coffee table with the back of my legs.
"You what?" He harshly yelled. "You didn't mean to?" He had a scary huff at the end as if he was being questioned.
"Gee I..." I started to say it but he continued.
"What the fucking hell? How can you stand here in front of my face and lie to me? Throwing this bullshit line out there. I can't even look at you right now." He stepped closer to me as he noticed my shaking. He grabbed my arm roughly and squeezed. I whimpered and felt tears start again.
"Look at me when I talk to you." His voice began getting softer.
"I said I didn't mean to hurt you Gerard." I couldn't look at his face, not when he was like this.
"Chrys, look at me." He whispered. I slowly and shakily turned my head so my eyes were staring into his chest. I could feel his staring down into me.
"How do you mean?" He slightly snarled. "Huh?" He loosened his grip on me a bit. "Look into my eyes Chrys." He demanded as his fingertips brushed my skin lightly on my forearm.
"I...I..." I began to stutter and break under his stare.
"Chrys we can't be together." He said with cloudy eyes. "We can never be together." His voice was stern. I could feel my heart breaking in two.
"But...I..." I was hushed when I felt lips lightly on mine.
"We can't Chrys." He massaged my lips lightly as his hand left my arm to my waist. I couldn't move my arms to wrap around his shoulders. I stood letting him kiss me for the last time as I kissed him back slightly. I pulled away and stared into his eyes. Mine obviously had a pleading look because he felt sympathetic for me but still shook his head. He bent down and kissed me once more before pulling away and rubbing our noses together.
"If you only knew babe." I pulled away from his embrace feeling hot tears stain my cheeks. I nodded and left him standing alone in the den. I struggled getting my sopping wet clothes back on and saw him in the exact position he was last night when I told him the truth.

p.s. to get the full affect of this chapter, please listen to "You" by The Pretty Reckless. I hope this leaves you shocked...
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