" His voice was echoing all in my head and I just wanted it to stop, I heard the sound of the slap in my mind. I could feel my cheek chilling at the thought of hitting the cold hardwood floor."
Chapter 10: If You Stay I Would Even Wait All Night
I gripped Frank’s hand tightly hand tightly and look around at all three of their faces. Gerard and Frank had no idea what they were about to hear, and I was scared to know their reaction. If they wanted me to go to the police I don’t think I could. I am terrified of Peter, and I never want to see him again. I just wanna hide. I wanted to shield myself in this apartment with a guy I did not even know. I wanted this to be my reality, my safety.
But it was probably nothing but just a distraction.
“Sarah? You sure you want to do this?” Molly’s sympathetic voice broke me out of my thoughts.
“Yes, I’m sure.” I took a deep breath and felt I was as ready as I could ever be.
“It all started in high school. I met my boyfriend Peter my junior year, he was a lacrosse player. Built well, but not too strong, and his looks were to die for. I went weak in the knees the first time I saw him. We had the same theatre class, I couldn’t figure out why he was even in it anyway. But we got paired together for a scene and it all just took off from there. We worked together on it every day, and at the end we kissed and then we were just together all the time. A few weeks after he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes.”
I took a break to compose myself. Thinking about the Peter I used to know made me want to go back to him and try to fix him.
“Anyway, I couldn’t believe a guy like that wanted to be with a girl like me. I mean Peter was the most popular guy in school, and me I had deep red hair, tons of issues, and smoked weed every day during second period. But he wanted me and I didn’t know why, but it felt so…good. Just to be wanted. Peter and I spent all the time we could together for the past two years, and I never thought this would happen.”
I could feel the tears surfacing to my eyes. I was trying to hold myself together for the sake of feeling embarrassed. I let go of Frank hand and covered my eyes to quickly hide the tears.
“Sarah, what happened?” Frank said concerned and quickly grabbed my hand again. I felt safe.
“Well, Peter and I moved in together this year, and everything was great. He had graduated med school, got his first job. He was become something, and he told me I could take all the time I needed to either pursue my career in theatre or until I found something else I wanted to do. He was so understanding and he never doubted me for a second.” I continued.
“Well he sounds like a top notch guy.” Gerard sounded hopeful, even though I think he already knew what I was getting to.
“That’s what I thought too. Lately his temper started running thin, real thin. I can remember the first time it happened like it was yesterday.” I paused and gathered my thoughts; I knew telling this story was getting more difficult by the second.
“So one night I had come home from a long day of running errands for the new house, we were still settling in so I told Peter I would just take care of it while he was at his new job.
So I got home late and didn’t have time to make dinner or anything. So he walked in and asked where his food was….” I could hear his voice already in the back of my mind replaying that night.
“What the fuck Sarah, how good do I have to fuck you to get a fucking meal?”
“I told him I was sorry and that I just didn’t have time with everything going on with the house well he didn’t take that too well.” I was trembling, his voice played back in my mind again.
“Oh you didn’t have enough time after sitting on your fat ass all day and buying stupid fucking decorations for this shit hole.”
“Naturally I got mad and told him to fuck off and he was exaggerating, and that’s when he hit me for the first time.” I breathed in restoring my calmness.
“I’m overreacting. Excuse me if I wanna come home to some fucking food after saving fucking lives all day. I think I am not reacting enough. So you know what, I’m gonna teach you a lesson.”
His voice was echoing all in my head and I just wanted it to stop, I heard the sound of the slap in my mind. I could feel my cheek chilling at the thought of hitting the cold hardwood floor.
“That fucking bastard.” Frank’s voice was filled with disgust. I just squeezed his hand hoping he would relax.
“He said he was sorry right afterwards and the next day bought this expensive necklace, so I thought everything was okay. But I was wrong, the beating became routinely. If I didn’t wash the dishes, a hit. If I didn’t make dinner, a kick in the stomach. But for some weird reason
I thought it’d get better.” I sighed sounding idiotic.
“Well if you don’t mind me asking, why’d you finally leave?” Gerard looked at me, his hazel eyes were filled with sorrow, and he had grabbed Molly’s hand and was holding it tightly.
“Well, the day after I spent the night here things went too far. “ I knew I couldn’t hold myself together much longer. “So I came home and thought I was alone, and Peter was waiting for me. He thought I had been out cheating on him; he pulled my hair back causing me to fall back on the stairs. He beat me for a while, and when I finally thought it was over he did the unthinkable. He…” the warm tears started to stain my cheeks now.
“It’s okay Sarah you can do this.” Molly said.
“He…raped me.” I breathed out, and it felt just as bad to say as it did the first time.
“What, he did what!?” I was fuming with anger. But I was trying to stay calm.
It wasn’t the fact that it was Sarah being raped that upset me the most. It was that a person can call himself a man and disrespect a woman in the worsts ways possible, he raped her, he beat her, and he degraded her. I couldn’t believe what I heard. I couldn’t believe that she was even brave enough to repeat the events.
“I am so sorry Sarah.” Was all I could manage to say. I gripped her hand as tight as I could and held her close as she cried. I know I couldn’t make it better, I could just be there for her.
“I just never thought my life would be like this.” She sobbed into my shoulder, and I didn’t mind at all.
“Well none of us know how life is going to turn out but we do this best we can, and we’re all here to help you with whatever you need.” I said to her comfortingly, I looked at Gerard and his face was white as snow. I could tell he didn’t know what to say or how to deal with the situation.
“Well…you can stay here as long as you want.” Gerard stammered out finally, he was refusing to make eye contact with Sarah.
“No, I couldn’t do that to you guys. I can find a shelter or something.” She pulled herself up straight on to the couch.
“Are you crazy Sarah! That’s the first place Peter is going to look for you.” Molly seemed to scold me. But she was right, Peter thinks I’m too stupid to find a really hiding place.
“All right, I’ll stay, I just don’t wanna be a burden to you guys.” She said modestly.
“Oh please, Gerard’s the burden.” I said jokingly.
“I AM NOT” he shouted defensively.
“You drink the orange juice right out of the carton, and you leave your shit everywhere!” I started laughing, and looked over to see Sarah doing the same, and it made me smile even more.
“Okay you guys, calm down.” Molly piped in.
“Okay so you’re going to stay with us.” I said a little too excited.
“You got it dude!” she smiled, and I couldn’t be happier.