She fucking loved Avenger, the boy who'd loved her for so long, yet she'd been denying it to both him and herself for around two years.
Chapter Twenty Five - Disappearing
Passing out was something that had been happening to Lexia a lot lately. Everything was weird. One second she'd be incontrol of her self, the next she'd be controlled by the chip and then she'd pass out.
"When will this stop?" She had tears in her eyes and she could feel a lump in her throat.
When there was no answer to her question, she sighed angrily.
She was no longer in the hospital room, she was in a seperate room with one way glass where someone was always watching her. She was being watched twenty four seven since people wanted to observe what was happening. They'd done this experiment before, but because it hadn't been done that much, they wanted to see the different reactions that she had while she was coping with the transition.
A few days ago there were things that she started to forget. In the beginning, it was only small things for example she couldn't remember her maiden name and she couldn't remember her birthday, but now, there were bigger things that she'd forgotten. She couldn't remember her husband's last name, she only remembered that his Killjoy name was Party Poison and that his first name was Gerard, she couldn't remember Dr. Death. The name Dr. Death Defying was stuck in her mind, but she didn't know why. The biggest one that scared her was that she was starting to forget what her own daughter looked like.
She was slowly starting to fade away and with each passing second, she was becoming less like Acid Bullets and more like property of Better Living and she couldn't do anything about it. She could only watch herself slowly slip away day by day.
The next morning, Poison woke up, still feeling tired as fuck.
He walked into the kitchen and he stole one of Ghoul's ciggarettes.
"Morning." His brother said, getting baby food for his one year old son.
Kobra realized that Cyanide wasn't in the room, he instantly panicked.
"Where the fuck is Cyanide?"
"She's having a shower."
"She's on her own?"
"What do you expect me to do? Just sit there while she has a fucking shower?"
"You did it with Acid enough." Kobra shot back at his brother.
"Shut the fuck up, Kobra." Poison snapped back.
Poison didn't know how his brother knew that, besides it wasn't like he just sat there and watch his wife have a shower, he'd get in too and . . . well you probably know what they did next.
"Besides, I trust her. She told me everything last night and believe me, she's not trying to kill us."
"Poison are you fucking kidding me? She works for them! She's bound to be a fucking good liar!"
"She was telling the truth."
"Why should we trust her? Incase you've forgotten, we have kids that we both love so fucking much and I have Static. If we trust her, then Zack and Bandit could be taken away and all of us could be killed. There is no way I'm risking them getting killed, Poison. I'm just not risking it."
"You trust me, don't you?"
"I trust you, it's her that I don't trust."
"If you trust me, then you'll believe it when I say that there's no way she wants to kill us or help Better Living with anything."
"What did she do to make you believe you, Poison? Did she give you false hope that we could save Acid? Or did she just let you fuck her so that you'd believe her?"
Poison lost his temper. How could his brother think that he'd do something like that? Then again, he knew that when his brother was pissed, he'd say anything to piss of that person that'd annoyed him in the first place. He was just trying to piss off his brother a little.
"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! I'M MARRIED AND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE MY WIFE! YOU THINK THAT I'D DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?"
It was the first time that he'd ever considered punching his younger brother by three years, he hated the fact that he wanted to inflict pain on Kobra, but it was just something that he wanted to do.
"I don't know what you'd do anymore, Poison. I don't know."
"Guys, don't fight. We've got a busy day a head of us." Static inturpted her fiancé and her fiancé's brother fighting.
When the two didn't move, Static rolled her eyes.
"Poison, do you trust Cyanide?" Static asked him.
He nodded. "Yeah, I do."
"Kobra, do you trust your brother?"
"Then trust Cyanide. If he truely believes that Cyanide is telling the truth, then you should believe your brother. He wouldn't just say that he believes her for the fuck of it. Just get over it and trust him."
"Why should I?"
"He's your brother, he's telling you that he knows she's telling the truth. And do you know what? I'm your fiancé and I'm telling you that you should trust your brother, okay? Believe it or not, but your brother's actually kind of smart, Kobra. You should try listening to him once in a while." She smiled a little.
In an instant, his anger melted away. Static could make his anger worse sometimes when she fought back because she was full of fire like he was, but sometimes, she made him forget what he was pissed about in the first place or made him realize that she was right.
Kobra smiled back and planted a kiss on her lips.
"Fine." Kobra's and Static's foreheads were pressed together.
Poison was a little shocked that Kobra had given in that easily.
When a crying noise came from Kobra's and Static's room, he left to go check on their son.
"How the fuck do you do that? He's so fucking stubborn sometimes."
Static grinned. "I have my ways, Poison."
"I know how she does it," Ghoul said with his arm wrapped around Lo. "she just gives him good sex."
Lo smiled, but hit her boyfriend's arm lightly. "You're a jerk sometimes." She said, giggling like a six-year-old.
"Yeah, but I'm your jerk."
"You got that right." She kissed Ghoul's cheek.
"Okay, so while we're at the Better Living head quarters, we'll need to split up into three groups. One group'll get the meds we need for Radio, one group find where they keep all the Killjoys and then they'll set them free and me and Cyanide are gonna look for Bob and Lexia. The only things we'll be doing today is sorting out the groups we'll be in and training incase we run into any Dracs or S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W/S."
"Poison, me and Avenger want to go with you when you look for Lexia. She's my sister, I just need to make sure that she's safe."
Poison nodded at his sister-in-law and Avenger.
"I say that Cherri, myself, Attack and Hurricane should find the Killjoys that are in the cells and set them free. Believe it or not, we're actually pretty good at not getting caught and killing Dracs." Beautiful Lie suggested while his arm was wrapped around his girlfriend.
"I think I should go with them, too. It's been too long since I've had any action with stuff like this, plus I've gotten pretty good at sneaking around lately." Show Pony said.
"Me, Pen and Devi want to get our group back, so we'll go with Cherri, Attack, Hurricane, Lie and Show."
"What about me?" Ella, or now Princess Kitty, said in a quiet voice.
"Ella, sweetie, it's too dangerous for you. I know you wanna help, but it's best if help here at the diner while we're at Better Living." Pen said to the small child.
Ella huffed. "Fine."
"Then that's one group. That leaves Kobra, Jet, Static, Ghoul and Lo in the other group, so you guy's will be getting the meds we need for Radio, but get extra meds and equipment, too. We might need it in the future."
Jet nodded, but Radio realized that she wasn't involved in the plan.
"Wait, why am I not involved in any of the groups?"
"Because you're not going, Radio." Jet said, while holding his girlfriend's ghostly pale hand. She was getting paler each day, it worried all of them, particullarly Jet and Lo. Jet struggled to look at her sometimes, he couldn't help but remember how she looked before the illness, she was happy and full of life, but now . . . she just looked like she was constantly in pain. He still loved her, he'd never stop loving her, but it just hurt to look at Radio sometimes because it was so obvious that she was hurting, that she was slowly dying.
"Okay, so let me get this right, some of you are risking your lives so you can help me and I don't even get to go?"
"Radio, have you seen yourself? You're clearly in pain, which makes you an easy target to them. You can't go while you're like this, Radio. You just can't." Her cousin told her.
"Well what am I supposed to do? Just sit here and wonder if you're all still alive or not? Fuck no, I'm not doing that. I'm going with you, end of story."
"Radio, Lo's right." Jet said, looking at Radio's almost white face.
"Jet, please, I-"
"No, Radio. I don't want you to sit here and wait for us to come back, but you can't go. It's for the best if you stay here."
Jet and Radio continued to fight about the subject for a while, but she eventually gave in and she said that she'd stay behind with Zack, Bandit, Dr. Death and Lynda.
Not too far away from the diner, the Killjoys were practicing shooting, fighting and anything else they thought they would need to do to defend themselves while they were at the Better Living head quaters.
Static and Cherri were particularlly getting into it, they were fighting eachoter a lot, but it was getting to Kobra a little. The last time that they'd left to fight Better Living was when Zack was born, so he didn't have to worry about protecting her from anything since neither of them were there, but now he'd have to try and protect himself, Static and anyone else who was with them.
Static, who was breathless from training with her sister, Cherri, walked over to Kobra with a wide smile on her face.
"Fuck, it's been a while since me and Cherri have trained together."
She noticed that he looked super pissed, so she decided to find out what was causing her almost husband to be stressed out.
"This. This is wrong, Static. You could die, I-"
"No, okay. I know what you're going to do, you're gonna try and convince me to stay behind with Radio, Zack, Bandit, Dr. Death and my mom and the answer's no, okay? I'm not staying behind this time."
"Static, please I-"
"I've already said no. I wouldn't even think about asking you to stay behind, so why are you asking me?"
"Because Zack needs someone when . . ." He didn't finish.
"Do you know what, forget it. It's not like you're gonna change your mind."
"Kobra, tell me. When what?"
"When one of us gets hurt."
"You think one of us it gonna get hurt?"
"I got a bad feeling about this."
"Kobra, I know you worry, but don't. Nothing's gonna go wrong, we're going to Better Living, saving thousands of Killjoys, and that includes your mother, save Acid and Cyanide's family and then getting some supplies for Radio. I know that we're doing a lot of dangerous shit, but we're careful people. Nothing bad's gonna happen to us. We're a hell of a lot smarter than Dracs, okay?"
"Hey, look at me," He looked at the woman he loved and the mother of his one-year-old son. "I love you."
He smiled sadly. "Love you, too."
Their lips brushed together and she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Nothing's ever gonna change the fact that I love you. I left once and it was probably one of the biggest fucking mistakes I ever made, it was all because we were both just too fucking stubborn to say that we loved eachother." They both cracked a smiled. "For the record, I'm not leaving for a second time. Not ever. I love you."
Kobra couldn't help but smile a little, even though the bad feeling was still burning inside his gut.
"I love you, too."
They wrapped their arms around eachother, hoping that they'd still be alive and with their son by the time they'd been at the Better Living headquarters.
"Don't ever leave." Static wispered.
"Never. I'll never leave you or Zack. I promise."
How could I have been so fucking blind? Jesus Christ, am I just that stupid? Then again, how was I supposed to know? I've never had really had many friends other than him, how was I supposed to know the difference between being in love with someone and loving them as a friend? I'm such a fucking idiot! Death screamed in her head while she lay on her bed.
She loved him.
She fucking loved him.
She fucking loved Avenger, the boy who'd loved her for so long, yet she'd been denying it to both him and herself for around two years.
It's not like she should go up to him and say 'Yeah it turns out I'm in love with you afterall, even though I've hurt you, broken your heart and been a complete and utter bitch to you'.
"Hey Death, we're training, you wanna come?" Ghoul said to her, breaking her train of thought.
She sat up and looked at one of her only friends.
"Um, yeah, I'll be right out. Hey Ghoul, can I ask you something?"
Ghoul nodded at one of his best friends. "Anything, Deathie."
"You love Lo, right?"
"No, I just say I love her for the fuck of it. Of course I love her, dumbass." He smiled, sitting next to her on the bed.
She smiled a little at her. "How did you know you loved her?"
He paused a second. "I don't know you just . . . know. There's just a feeling when you're with them that you can't describe. When you're with them, time goes by so fucking quickly, but when you're not around them everything just feels slower. You're okay on your own, but when you're with them, you just feel . . . complete. That sounds cheesey as fuck, I know, but it's true."
She looked down and nodded.
"Why, who's this about? Avenger?"
She could only nod.
"You want the truth?" Ghoul asked her.
"It's painfully obvious you love him. I just want to bang your heads together and make you realize that you're both in love."
"It's not him that doesn't know that he's in love, I've known that he loves me for a while now. It's me who's been the fucking idiot. I just don't see how I can tell him after I've hurt him so many times. I can't just go up to him and tell him I love him after I've been nothing but a bitch to him about this particular topic."
"What, are you thinking of just not telling him about how you feel?"
She sighed. "I just... I don't know what'd be best for the both of us. I'm shit scared of ruining our friendship because of this, I think that's apart of the reason why I've been denying my feelings for him this long. I've been scared of ruining what we already have. After all the times I've hurt him, I don't know how much more our friendship can take. I don't want to just be with him for a while only to break up and destroy what's left of what we have. After everything we've been through, we've overcome it and if we were to break up, I just don't know if we'd be able to mend the relationship for the millionth time, y'know?"
"It makes sense, but you're forgetting the fact that even though you thought you were going to have a kid together and you miscarried that you're still friends. Whatever it is you have, it's fucking strong. Hell, even after you had a miscarriage, he stuck around because he cared about you that much. Let's face it, how many teenage guys would have a one time thing with a girl, knock her up and stick by her even after she had a miscarriage?"
She smirked a little. "It was more than once, but I know what you mean."
"Ew, I don't want hear the fact that it was more than once! This is weird, I knew you when you were like what, thirteen? I still see you as the sweet innocent little Deathie that I met aaallll those years ago. "
"It was like two years ago and I was almost fourteen, Ghoul. I'm almost sixteen now."
"My little Deathie's growing up so fast."
"'M not so little, I'm as tall as you, Ghoul, I'll probably be taller soon."
He smiled at the fifteen, almost sixteen, year old girl infront of him.
"C'mon, let's go before I start arguing back."
She smiled and left with him.
Acid picked herself up off the floor after passing out for what felt like the millionth time that day, but she decided to sit down in the brightly lit, white room and tuck her knees into her chest. She wrapped her arms around her knees and her chin rested on them.
"Good afternoon, Alexandria." Dr. Isoda greeted her, grinning like a mad woman while she entered the room where Alexandria was located.
She didn't reply, she just stared at the woman with wide, tired eyes.
"How are you feeling today?"
Again, she just stared.
"Are you able to speak or do you refuse to?"
She waited a moment before she spoke. "What do you think?"
"I understand why you do not wish to talk to me, but you are one of the first people we have done this experiment with, you are one of the first we have used the," She tried to find the fight word. "artificial bones with, so we need to know how you feel both mentally and physically. We need this so that we can improve our company."
"Why would I want to help you and your company with anything? You've killed my parents, you've taken my husband and my daughter away from me, you've hurt so many people, killed so many . . . give me one good reason why I should even think about helping you." There was almost no emotion in her voice.
Dr. Isoda smiled. "Just by talking to me now you are helping me. There is no emotion in your voice, which means that the chip has started to take over. Your emotions are slowly starting to dissapear. This has happened with the other few people who we have done this to. First, they have periods of unconciousness, they start to forget certain things or memories, sometimes they feel weak, when the chip has started to take over, their voices become emotionless and they forget almost everything about their own past. I see that almost all of those things have happened to you, Alexandria. I must say, the chip is adjusting rather well."
Acid wanted to feel angry, she wanted to be furious with the woman standing infront of her, but she wasn't. She felt absolutely no emotion towards the bitch.
"You want to be angry do you not, Alexandria?"
She didn't say anything, but the silence only told Dr. Isoda that she was right.
"We will still be watching over you, Alexandria. When we are certain that the chip completely controls you, we will give you a place where you will live and you will be ours to use whenever we wish."
Dr. Isoda left the room since she had all the infromation that she needed.
Acid's thoughts went to her husband and daughter. She knew that she wouldn't return to them again. She wondered who her daughter would grow up to be, she wondered if her husband would ever fall in love again with someone else. If Poison did fall for someone else, she wondered what they'd be like.
She let her mind wander for a while until she passed out again. She slept a dreamless, dark sleep. She wanted the darkness to remain, she didn't want to wake up to the dark, cruel world that she now lived in. She didn't want to wake up in a world filled with murder, death, lies and Better Living. What she truely wanted was to be with her family again, but there was no hope for that to happen, for all she knew, they just thought that she'd gotten up and left them. That she'd left her husband and daughter over something stupid. She wanted to turn away from the world and give up, but she didn't have the option to give up anymore. They'd already taken that away from her along with everything and everyone else. She was alone.