A pen pal project is assigned, what happens when Gerard Way introduces himself to his new "pal"?
Please don't be offended by my opening. I try to be as honest as possible, and truthfully, I think people that go to Belleville High are losers. Except maybe me. So I hope you don't mind me referring to you by your proper title because I don't know your name yet, okay?
Also, the teachers here are stupid. They are retarded beyond credit, the assholes. What sane teacher organizes a pen pal project(stupid idea #1) in which students write to other students in the same freaking school?(stupid idea #2)
It's funny really, but it's also sad that this is what modern education has come to.
God, why me?
I'm supposed to tell you about myself, but I don't know why I should bother because hopefully by this time you have realized that I do not want a reply, so maybe you have already torn this letter to shreads. But I've got time to kill, so why not?
My name is Gerard Way.
I am 16 years old. If it's too difficult for you to determine what grade that puts me in, I'll save you time and tell you I'm a junior.
I like assaulting innocent freshmen at their lockers and leaving them in restroom sinks.
I do not like chocolate. And I do not like this stupid pen pal project because I think it's for third graders.
And I am gay. Yet another very good reason for you to not write me back. (What if I decide to molest you in public restrooms?)
Have a nice day.
Go to hell.