Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Clueless

I Never Told You What I Did For A Living

by Ninja-on-the-run 0 reviews

"It's the rope. It's making you say strange things ," mumbled Mikey to himself.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Frank Iero,Mikey Way - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2012-06-24 - Updated: 2012-06-24 - 1727 words

Chapter Six: I never told you what I did for a living

Hannah, Ricky and Jesse ran frantically to the office of their commanding officer.

"Are you sure that's what four eyes said?" asked Ricky.

"Yeah! I'm positive!" said Hannah.

"Let's tell Kim," said Jesse.

"Good idea," replied Hannah.

The three froze in front of Kim, their commander's secretary.

Kim Lee, also known as Kim, looked up. "May I help you? Oh...It's you three." she asked.

"Kim, we have a problem..." said Jesse.

"And what would it be?" asked Kim.

Kim Lee is a tall Japanese American woman. She was raised into this business, and like her mother, was the secretary for the commander. She was nearing her thirties, but she didn't mind. Being ten years in with this job, she had seen all kinds of problems and while her commander was busy, she would fix it.

Not this certain problem though...

The commander sat at his desk and analyzed the files his secretary had sent to him not too long ago. He sighed and ran his hand through his dyed hair. No matter how much he analyzed them, it all was a goose chase. There was no conclusion at all to the random kidnappings happening around Hollywood.

The secretary bit her lip in hesitation, wondering if she should tell her commanding agent the startling news from what the others called 'the three idiots'. She made up her mind and knocked on the door. "Commander?" she said.

"Come in, Kim" said the agent.

"We have a problem," said Kim shutting the door.

"What is it?"

"Well, the team you sent out interrogated the witnesses," she said business like.

"What was the team?"

"The three idiots."

"It was an easy assignment for them. What seems to be the problem?" asked the commander taking a drink from his coffee.

Kim bit her lip and sighed. "One seems to be your brother"

The commander spit out his coffee in shock. "WHAAAT?"

"Would you like to see him?" asked the secretary, wiping some coffee drops off her face.


Oh God, this can't be true, I swear. This has to be a joke!

The commander stood up and picked up his jacket, leather red of course. His favorite among the large collection he had at his home.

"Where is he?"

"In the cement room."

Oh shit...Mikey is claustrophobic.

The secretary led the commander into the room where Mikey was being kept.

"Can I be alone with him for a moment?" asked the commander.

"Yes sir," the secretary nodded and left.

The commander pushed his hair back and took a deep breath before he approached his younger brother.

"Hey Mikes, what's up?"

Mikey looked at the source of the voice. He wasn't sure if the knock out bomb from earlier had hallucination as side effects. Either his mind was playing tricks on him, or Gerard Way aka his older brother was standing before him.

"Gee?" he exclaimed.

"How is it going?" Gerard managed a small grin. He didn't want his job to pull in his family, since it could risk their life. So as you can see, it was poker face time.

"Gee, what are you doing here? Why am I tied up? Why is Frank calling me a coffee whore? Who were those creeps? What is going on?" Mikey was in hysterics. He had tried not to panic like his best friend who was being interrogated in the room next door, but he lost it. He had lived a normal life, had a normal job, had a normal family.

All up until now.

"Relax Mikey," said Gerard trying to calm him.

"Relax? How the flipping meese can I relax? I'm tied up!" he exclaimed.

Gerard sighed and began untying his little brother. "Mikey, just relax. I'll explain what's going on in a second," he assured.

"What are they gonna do with Frank?" asked Mikey.

"Frank is here too?" exclaimed Gerard.

"Yeah, we work together at Starbucks, remember? They took him next door" Mikey motioned with a nod to the room next to him.

"Well that's convenient," Gerard untied the final knots and helped Mikey up.

"What do you mean 'that's convenient'? In what universe is being tied up considered convenient?" asked Mikey.

"I meant it was convenient because I'd like to explain what is going on to both of you," said Gerard.

"Oh...That's cool," Mikey rubbed his wrists where the rope burns had left a mark. They'll go away eventually.

"Um Mikey, what are those red marks on your face from?"

"What red marks? Oh..." Mikey touched the side of his face and winced a little bit.

"Oh yeah, that Hannah chic slapped me."

"Damn Hannah. She's getting too violent with these assignments..." mumbled Gerard.

"Assignments?" asked Mikey.

"I'll explained in a minute," waved Gerard. He picked up his headset he had set down on his neck and began calling orders.

"Leroy?" Gerard called into a headset.

"Come in commander," said Leroy.

"Bring the second witness into the cement room. Untied," he replied.

"Roger," Leroy buzzed.

"Commander?" asked Mikey.

"I'll explain in a minute," said Gerard.

A few minutes later, they could hear Frank resisting against Leroy's grip.

"Let go of me you troll! Leave me alone! Set me free. I have ferrets and a broken Ges Paul at home. Who's gonna take care of my Pansy? WHO? TELL ME YOU SIX FOOT COWARD! WHO?" frank cried. The Way brothers sighed.

Once Frank was inside the cement room, the hugging began.

"COFFEE WHORE!" Frank ran and hugged a slightly disoriented Mikey.

"Frankie!" Mikey said not too cheerfully.

"I thought they killed you man! They have some large as hell guns," frank let go of Mikey.

"Nah, they didn't kill me. I'm okay," said Mikey.

"Jacket slut?" exclaimed Frank.

"Yep," replied Gerard.

Frank ran up to his friend and hugged him. "Thank God you're here! I thought I was stuck with Mikey! Do you have any idea how frigging clueless he is about these situations?"

"Frank, I'm still right here," said Mikey.

"Oh I know!"

"It's the rope. It's making you say strange things ," mumbled Mikey to himself.

"You say something Mikes?" asked Frank.


"Were you kidnapped too?" asked Frank.

"No," said Gerard.

"Then what are you doing here?" asked Mikey.

Gerard ran his hand through his red dyed hair. "This is gonna take a while to explain..."

"We have time," both Mikey and Frank replied.

"remember that one time I went to San Fransisco for a convention?" asked Gerard.

"Oh yeah. Why?"

"I got tied up in some stuff simply because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some stuff went down and I was to head a league of secret agents. Our job is to keep people safe and protect oth-"

"Isn't that basically like not copyrighting a body guard?" asked Frank.

"No. Shut up and let me continue my story."

"Fine, jacket slut..."

"Anyways, we have to protect others with our life. It's a top secret program ran in California and this is HQ."

"How the hell did you get assigned to this while at San Fransisco for a convention?" asked Mikey.

"It's a long story...but we don't need to hear that. So, you guys have no choice but to become part of the program."

"wait, why no choice?" asked Mikey.

"If anyone finds out about us, they are forced into the business. I'm not sure who started this, but that's how this kind of stuff rolls by the time I got here," explained Gerard

Frank bit his lip. "I don't see how we would fit in this business," he replied.

"You guys can fit in this business perfectly. Mikey, you're a good negotiator and spiritual adviser. You know how to handle situations and hack things. You ran a Disney black market for Pete's sake! Frank, you can interrogate the shit out of people and not bat an eye. You're good with guns and a fighter. If you guys join us, we can save Karen. We exist to save others," explained Gerard.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait a second. Who is this 'we' you speak of?" asked Frank.

"Oh, secret agents." replied Gerard.



"You're kidding."

"Nope, I'm commander, I don't kid when it comes to my job."

"But, aren't you a comic book writer?" asked Mikey.

"Yeah...I never told you what I did for a living," replied Gerard sheepishly.

"No dip Sherlock" said Mikey sarcastically.

"...I'm in!" said Frank.

"That was a fast decision," said Mikey.

"I want to help others! Besides, I'm not gonna let whoever were the assholes that kidnapped Karen harm her!" replied Frank, determined.

"what else is there to know, Commander Way?" asked Frank.

"Hey G, I got more files today on the investigation with Yolanda. Oh, and we have a meeting today at 12-" A familiar male voice was heard as a man with an afro approached the trio.

Mikey and Frank froze as they saw the familiar man.

"Ray?" the both exclaimed

"Mikey? Frank?" Ray nearly dropped his files.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention; Ray is in on it too." added Gerard.

"How?" asked Mikey.

"We were carpooling to comic con..."

"What are you doing here?" Ray removed the headpiece.

"We don't know!" exclaimed Frank and Mikey.

"I thought they weren't in on this," said Ray to Gerard.

"They weren't...It's a long story," said Gerard sheepishly.

"Wait, why did you take Ray to Comic-Con and not me?" asked Mikey.

"You went to Sacramento to a Radiohead concert," said Gerard.

"Oh yeah..." said Mikey.

"And me? What about me? You could have taken me!" Frank interjected.

"You went with him."

"Oh yeah..."

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Ray.

Mikey took a couple deep breaths. He was dreaming. That's all. It was all a dream. He was back at Starbucks, working normally with Frank, serving coffee, reading a magazine while his boss wasn't watching. It was all a effed up dream.

"Okay I'm going to wake up at home, knowing that this is all a dream. No. This is a dream, this is a dream, this is a dream," Mikey shut his eyes, hoping to wake up at home.

He hoped it was a dream.

"Mikey...this isn't a dream," Gerard said slowly.

Well...he tried.

"Let me showing you around Protectors HQ."
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