Theres abit of Language here.. And somebody fucks up
I came out after pulling on some comfortable clothes for sleeping in and looked at Syn with a rub of my eyes. "I'm gonna head to bed, okay?"I whispered. Truth be told, I was totally knackered. He had definatly worn me out earlier. He whined and looked at me. "Why? You had a shower, that was supposed to wake you up so youd keep me company"he whined and pouted at me. I chuckled at his pout and walked over, sitting on his knee. "Tough shit sweet cheeks.. You tired me the fuck out.. Now I'm off to have awesome dreams about you"I chuckled and lay back on him. Maybe he wasnt into this as much as I was.. Maybe he didnt even wanna be with me? I was just there.. But hed said all those nice things right? Obviously he wanted to be with me. "Stay up?"he asked me and rested his chin on my shoulder. I shook my head and pouted. "I'll make you a deal.. I'll stay awake.. But you have to give me cuddles in my bunk. Deal?"I smiled and he nodded. "Fine. Asshole"he chuckled and walked to my bunk.. I was behind him though, I had no choice. Wanna know why? He hadnt let go of my hand. This was shaping up to be the best night of my exsistance since it began. I still had some negative thoughts in my head about whether he even wanted this or not, but I pushed them aside and just let myself enjoy it instead of over thinking. He hopped into his own bunk and smirked. "Change of plan!"he beamed and pulled me in beside him, letting me curl up against his side as he put his arm around me.. It was big, like a huge protective cuddly bear. "If you werent so built, I'd call you a teddybear"I chuckled. "Teddybear on steroids!"he grinned. I nodded and he just messed with the fabric on my tshirt. He seemed to be realizing I really was tired.
I could see he was getting sleep, even the grip on my hand that he had so strong was loosening slightly. "You really do seem tired..."I frowned and he shrugged a little. "You want me to stay awake.."he whispered and I sighed. "True.. But youre like, about to pass the fuck out"I chuckled and pecked his head. "I'll tell you what.. I'll let you sleep okay? But you have to stay here with me and cuddle me all night.. Do you think thats a fair deal?"I asked, cooing slightly. What was I doing? I hated being like this.. I swore that I was taking it slow didnt I? So why was I letting him get in so deep.. I was gonna hurt him. I slowly felt him loosen his grip on me and heard his breath even out. He was sleeping. I just pecked his head and left the bunk, heading outside for a much needed cigarette. I dunno what I was so afraid of.. It was clear that Matt was in pretty deep.. But there I was standing on the edge of the deep end, scared shitless of what was waiting in the water that I couldnt see into. It could be something perfect, or something that'll swallow me whole.. I dunno what I want, but at the same time I did. Love was so confusing.. Or maybe I was just over thinking things. I didnt know what to do anymore. Johnny looked at me as he stumbled to the bus. "SYNNIE-BEAR! Whatre you doing out here? Aint it past your bedtime?"he giggled, slurring wildly. I chuckled and looked up at him. "I dunno Johnny... Is it past my bedtime?"I laughed and leaned against the bus with my fag in my mouth as I exhaled through my nostrils. "Yes, yes it is!"he grinned. "Considering I have what, 3 years on you, dont you think I should be saying its your bedtime?"I smirked. "Oh yeah.. You make amazing points. We shall have a smart discussion about this topic in the morning.. When I'm not shit faced. Night fucktard"he grinned. "Night Cuntface"I chuckled and let him go inside. I heard stirring from my bunk and a small whimpering noise. I ran inside and looked at Matt to make sure he was okay, but he was awake. "Go to bed Syn"he said coldly. Awh fuck. "Matt I went out for a fag...."I frowned. "Yeah. Literally as soon as I fell asleep you were gone. Light sleeper remember?"he muttered and turned his back to me. "Fine. But youre in my bunk"I reminded him. "Take mine then! Its not rocket science genius"he barked and I just went in and curled up in his bunk. It smelled like him. I knew I had screwed up though by leaving him as soon as he fell asleep. I didnt even need a bloody fag.. I just left him. "Night Matt..."I whispered but got no answer. "I love you..."I whispered, trying again. "Love you too.."he mumbled back. That gave me hope at least.. Maybe I hadnt fucked up completely.
Okay, thats Ch.8 I wanted to add abit of comedy/drama to this one! Thanks for reading, and dont forget to rate and review!