Frank has a slight scare.....
I roll over and reach out for Frank, when i don't feel a collosall lump where his stomach should be, PS DO NOT TELL HIM I SAID THAT! I panic and for once the sound of him retching and gagging sends my entire being into a river of relief. He's throwing up again. The joys of having a child, well carrying one anyway is morning sickness and despite some women ahem, saying they didn't suffer, Frank is vomiting non stop from the second he wakes up. Actually, he could be vomiting for those women who didn't suffer. How evil is that?! It's like Satan but in youghurty yellowey sicky form, that comes out of your stomach and not out of some aggressive fire and no, this evil doesn't wear little horns, although Frank would look cute like that..... Oh yes, my sex ban. Yup, he has put me on a sex ban to let me think about what i've done AKA impregnated the dude. I guess i just have super functioning sperm, but that's not a crime right? I just hope our childs hair isnt a nest like mine. The kid would hate me forever. "GERARD! CONSIDERING YOU FUCKING GOT ME HERE GET ME A FUCKING GLASS OF WATER AND RUB MY FUCKING BACK WHILE YOUR CHILD TRIES TO KILL ME!" He's such a morning person.
I retch as he rubs my back in soft continous motions. Okay, so i wanted sex too but that's not the point. The point is i'm getting huge, like fat can't fit through the doorways huge. My freaking jeans won't come up over my belly without hurting my.. my.. you get my drift. And i'm just getting bigger by the day. And... oh holy fucking shit. What if it's twins? Or triplets? Or fucking sextuplets?! They could all be hidden under the one shown on my ultrasound! It could be, omg a sumo baby! I'm having a sumo wrestling, sibling disguising child! Oh holy fuckety fucker in fuckingville!
"MR IERO! We have carried out your request and it proved our suspicions, you are having one child and one child alone. The baby is the weight we expect it to be at this stage and your child is perfectly healthy. A very strong heartbeat as you can hear." The doctor explains. I'm having none of it. Something has to go wrong because it always frigging does. I got a good job and i fell in love.......actually, that was okay. No, no it wasnt it was fucking terrible which is why i know this pregnancy will be too! And what if they or he or she cries whilst it's in there?! I can't do anything then can I? Oh bugger! "Franklin Iero?! Seriously?!" Oh holy shit. Bumping into the ex should never happen like this.............