Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Want A Review??
Round 3, here we go…..!
Ghostbusters by ColorfulShadow
This was a one-shot in which Mikey and Frank are having a sleepover and raid Gerard’s room for cool stuff. I won’t tell you anymore, I personally think all of you should go read it. I thought the story was hilarious! It was incredibly random, but I believe teenage boys would do stupid stuff like that. It really was a pleasure to read and made me audibly laugh (which I imagine my family must’ve thought I was crazy). I loved it, keep up the good work!
Let's Kill Tonight by Kaleidoscope_Eyes
This story was set in the universe of Fall Out Boy’s “A Little Less 16 Candles…” music video. Our main character, and OC, is a girl named Jack who hunts vampires with the members of FOB and MCR along with her twin sister. It’s only 3 chapters in, but I have a feeling I’m going to love it. (I’m a sucker for anything FOB) A little advice, I think the characters are a little over-the-top and a bit underdeveloped. For example, if Jack and Patrick have a pseudo romance, make that clear, but you have to follow the “do, don’t tell” principle as well. Also, be wary of your OC become a Mary Sue. I really like your idea for the story and I have very high hopes for future chapters. I added this one to my alerts! I see great potential in you!
I Would Murder for a Kill! By tmbf*cks
In this story, Rachel and Sophie seek revenge for their parents murder by killing whoever they can get their hands on. And their next targets are the members of My Chem and their partners. First off, I was confused for almost the whole thing. It moved to fast and didn’t explain much. And, I highly suggest describing something other than hair and eye color when introducing a character. Their hair colors seemed unrealistic. Also, I believe when you’re writing a story where the villain is the main character, you have to have them be slightly likeable. I’m not saying make them fluffy, but how can I root for someone who I’m not endeared to? (A great example of that is Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, I would watch it if you have time) I feel like you could be a great author, you have great ideas and fun character, I just think you need to work on it a bit. Keep it up! You’re going to be great.
Rabbit Hearted Girl by MCR_rawrr
In this story, our protagonist is a young girl named Amy whose family had died in a fire, forcing her to live on the streets and become a prostitute. Gerard and Mikey Way take her in, seeing her sad state of life, but they have a dark secret. So, this story is almost all green, and has a very strong response from a lot of readers. I personally like this story, because I think it is very original and thought through. I find it to get a bit Mary Sue at some points but has a compelling plot line. I think the romance is good, but could’ve used a little more development. I haven’t read the whole thing yet (I didn’t have the time, sorry :/ ) but it’s 19 chapters in. I think this is a really interesting idea and could be good. I really like how you wrote it to sound more of-the-times, it’s very sophisticated. (Also, is your title inspire by Florence and The Machine?? I absolutely adore her!) You are a very talented author, keep up the good work! :)
I apologize if the next update doesn't come for a while, life is about to get quite busy. If you have time (yes, I am shamelessly plugging myself) I would really appreciate if you guys could give me feedback on my writing. (Think of it this way, if you didn't like the review I gave you, you can go and trash my writing! lol) Love and cookies for all!!
Ghostbusters by ColorfulShadow
This was a one-shot in which Mikey and Frank are having a sleepover and raid Gerard’s room for cool stuff. I won’t tell you anymore, I personally think all of you should go read it. I thought the story was hilarious! It was incredibly random, but I believe teenage boys would do stupid stuff like that. It really was a pleasure to read and made me audibly laugh (which I imagine my family must’ve thought I was crazy). I loved it, keep up the good work!
Let's Kill Tonight by Kaleidoscope_Eyes
This story was set in the universe of Fall Out Boy’s “A Little Less 16 Candles…” music video. Our main character, and OC, is a girl named Jack who hunts vampires with the members of FOB and MCR along with her twin sister. It’s only 3 chapters in, but I have a feeling I’m going to love it. (I’m a sucker for anything FOB) A little advice, I think the characters are a little over-the-top and a bit underdeveloped. For example, if Jack and Patrick have a pseudo romance, make that clear, but you have to follow the “do, don’t tell” principle as well. Also, be wary of your OC become a Mary Sue. I really like your idea for the story and I have very high hopes for future chapters. I added this one to my alerts! I see great potential in you!
I Would Murder for a Kill! By tmbf*cks
In this story, Rachel and Sophie seek revenge for their parents murder by killing whoever they can get their hands on. And their next targets are the members of My Chem and their partners. First off, I was confused for almost the whole thing. It moved to fast and didn’t explain much. And, I highly suggest describing something other than hair and eye color when introducing a character. Their hair colors seemed unrealistic. Also, I believe when you’re writing a story where the villain is the main character, you have to have them be slightly likeable. I’m not saying make them fluffy, but how can I root for someone who I’m not endeared to? (A great example of that is Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, I would watch it if you have time) I feel like you could be a great author, you have great ideas and fun character, I just think you need to work on it a bit. Keep it up! You’re going to be great.
Rabbit Hearted Girl by MCR_rawrr
In this story, our protagonist is a young girl named Amy whose family had died in a fire, forcing her to live on the streets and become a prostitute. Gerard and Mikey Way take her in, seeing her sad state of life, but they have a dark secret. So, this story is almost all green, and has a very strong response from a lot of readers. I personally like this story, because I think it is very original and thought through. I find it to get a bit Mary Sue at some points but has a compelling plot line. I think the romance is good, but could’ve used a little more development. I haven’t read the whole thing yet (I didn’t have the time, sorry :/ ) but it’s 19 chapters in. I think this is a really interesting idea and could be good. I really like how you wrote it to sound more of-the-times, it’s very sophisticated. (Also, is your title inspire by Florence and The Machine?? I absolutely adore her!) You are a very talented author, keep up the good work! :)
I apologize if the next update doesn't come for a while, life is about to get quite busy. If you have time (yes, I am shamelessly plugging myself) I would really appreciate if you guys could give me feedback on my writing. (Think of it this way, if you didn't like the review I gave you, you can go and trash my writing! lol) Love and cookies for all!!
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