Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Want A Review??
Round 2, lets go!
I'm Wrecking This Evening Already by Kaleidoscope_Eyes
In this story, a young girl starts out by getting raped by her brother’s friend. Later on in life, she is haunted by nightmares so she goes to the local grocery store, unable to sleep. While there she meets a boy named Brendon (I’m assuming this is Brendon Urie?). It’s only one chapter in so far. First off, I really don’t like stories that include rape. (Personal preference, sorry) so the opening part was hard for me to read. But if it is an important part of your story, I understand why you had to put it in there. Other than that, I think this story could possibly be very sweet. I am excited to see what happens next! I really enjoy your writing style :)
Killjoys Make Some Noise by KaleidoscopeSunrise
If you hadn’t guessed from the title, this is a Killjoy centered story. It is centered around and OC (real shocker there) named Kaleidoscope Sunrise. There is only one chapter so far, in which, she has an encounter with the fabulous killjoys. Okay, so, I hate to be harsh, but she is majorly Mary Sue. She has a lot of possibly fun qualities, but they are overshadowed by character traits that have been used too many times before. Also, I highly doubt that some random killjoy would outsmart the most notorious killjoys around, but that’s just my opinion. I did like all the Panic! At the Disco references in there, though, they are one of my favorite bands. Keep up the good work and focus on being original with your character. I have faith in you!
A Collection by bvbrocks
This was not a story but a bunch of poems. I, myself, am a poet, so it was nice to know that there are other poets on this site :) I have to say that some of them were very good and others were not so great. Some of them didn’t really flow and I was confused on what others meant (perhaps I’m just not thinking deep enough, and if that is the case, I apologize). I like them; I didn’t love them, but I didn’t hate them either. I found them to be a bit to angsty for my liking. Some of the best ones were “Nightmares of Dreams”, “Lonely Angel”, and “Before Today”. I hope you continue working on your poetry because I see a lot of potential here!
Violet Hill. By MCR_rawrr
Before I start, I have to say, what is with this site and abuse?!?! Why does almost every story include a character getting abused? It’s starting to get frustrating. rant over Anyways, our story opens up with Frank Iero in a care home. In a brief flashback, you find out he was living with a drunk father who abused his mother and that is how he ends up there. He is a misfit, (as he usually is in every story on ficwad.) Franks parents go through rehab and are able to take him back so Frank, reluctantly, travels home. There are only 2 chapters in this story so far. I think your writing is fabulous. Your section about the airport was genius. I think you have a lot of potential with this story and it was wonderfully refreshing! I really enjoy reading your writing; I can definitely connect with it more than other authors on here. Good work! You are going to be a really great author!
We Do It In The Dark by XEvil_AngelX
Alrighty, this is the last story I will review for this round. This is a story set in the world of the A Little Less Candles… video by Fall Out Boy (which is probably my favorite music video of all time!). As you probably guessed, Pete is a vampire and the infamous William Beckett turned him. I think you have a nice writing style, and I really like that you had the characters be who they are in real life (like, they are in their bands and what not). But there is some development and explanation that is lacking. For most of it, I was confused. I think you have a lot of potential here, really. I really like the idea and the characters are cool, but I think it could use just a little more explanation and possible take the plot line a bit slower; it will help your readers have an easier time understanding. I really like your writing and I think you could be a wonderful story teller; you just have to work on it a bit. I have a ton of faith in you! I think you are going to be a great author! Can’t wait to see what else you have in store! :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another great round of stories!! :D Please keep submitting! It's not to late to get a review! I would love to read YOUR writing! See you later! Peace and blessin's!
~Lyana
I'm Wrecking This Evening Already by Kaleidoscope_Eyes
In this story, a young girl starts out by getting raped by her brother’s friend. Later on in life, she is haunted by nightmares so she goes to the local grocery store, unable to sleep. While there she meets a boy named Brendon (I’m assuming this is Brendon Urie?). It’s only one chapter in so far. First off, I really don’t like stories that include rape. (Personal preference, sorry) so the opening part was hard for me to read. But if it is an important part of your story, I understand why you had to put it in there. Other than that, I think this story could possibly be very sweet. I am excited to see what happens next! I really enjoy your writing style :)
Killjoys Make Some Noise by KaleidoscopeSunrise
If you hadn’t guessed from the title, this is a Killjoy centered story. It is centered around and OC (real shocker there) named Kaleidoscope Sunrise. There is only one chapter so far, in which, she has an encounter with the fabulous killjoys. Okay, so, I hate to be harsh, but she is majorly Mary Sue. She has a lot of possibly fun qualities, but they are overshadowed by character traits that have been used too many times before. Also, I highly doubt that some random killjoy would outsmart the most notorious killjoys around, but that’s just my opinion. I did like all the Panic! At the Disco references in there, though, they are one of my favorite bands. Keep up the good work and focus on being original with your character. I have faith in you!
A Collection by bvbrocks
This was not a story but a bunch of poems. I, myself, am a poet, so it was nice to know that there are other poets on this site :) I have to say that some of them were very good and others were not so great. Some of them didn’t really flow and I was confused on what others meant (perhaps I’m just not thinking deep enough, and if that is the case, I apologize). I like them; I didn’t love them, but I didn’t hate them either. I found them to be a bit to angsty for my liking. Some of the best ones were “Nightmares of Dreams”, “Lonely Angel”, and “Before Today”. I hope you continue working on your poetry because I see a lot of potential here!
Violet Hill. By MCR_rawrr
Before I start, I have to say, what is with this site and abuse?!?! Why does almost every story include a character getting abused? It’s starting to get frustrating. rant over Anyways, our story opens up with Frank Iero in a care home. In a brief flashback, you find out he was living with a drunk father who abused his mother and that is how he ends up there. He is a misfit, (as he usually is in every story on ficwad.) Franks parents go through rehab and are able to take him back so Frank, reluctantly, travels home. There are only 2 chapters in this story so far. I think your writing is fabulous. Your section about the airport was genius. I think you have a lot of potential with this story and it was wonderfully refreshing! I really enjoy reading your writing; I can definitely connect with it more than other authors on here. Good work! You are going to be a really great author!
We Do It In The Dark by XEvil_AngelX
Alrighty, this is the last story I will review for this round. This is a story set in the world of the A Little Less Candles… video by Fall Out Boy (which is probably my favorite music video of all time!). As you probably guessed, Pete is a vampire and the infamous William Beckett turned him. I think you have a nice writing style, and I really like that you had the characters be who they are in real life (like, they are in their bands and what not). But there is some development and explanation that is lacking. For most of it, I was confused. I think you have a lot of potential here, really. I really like the idea and the characters are cool, but I think it could use just a little more explanation and possible take the plot line a bit slower; it will help your readers have an easier time understanding. I really like your writing and I think you could be a wonderful story teller; you just have to work on it a bit. I have a ton of faith in you! I think you are going to be a great author! Can’t wait to see what else you have in store! :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another great round of stories!! :D Please keep submitting! It's not to late to get a review! I would love to read YOUR writing! See you later! Peace and blessin's!
~Lyana
Sign up to rate and review this story