Continues on from Broken.
I turned away, this time determined not to turn back to look at Gerard, no matter how much he was calling my name, and begging me to stop, I wasn’t going to, the further away I walked the less I could hear he pained cries, the further away I walked the further my heart split down the middle, a broken heart will mend in time, a lost mind can never be found again.
He just left. He just turned around and left. I shouted for him, I practically screamed, there was no doubting Mikey and Bob will have heard my screams, it was killing me, watching Frank walk away hurt me just as much as almost losing Mikey, Frank, Mikey and Bob, they’re my family, Frank even more so, he was the first person I told about what I did, that didn’t change their opinion of me, I mean Mikey was there when it happened, and I know he doesn’t quite look at me the same way anymore as much as he says “I don’t care that you did it, it’s why you did it that counts” because I know somewhere in his mind he’s haunted by the fact his brother, his own flesh and blood, the guy he’s been so close to for so long, is a murderer, Frank is the only person, who knows me for me, and not for my past, he doesn’t care for my past, he only ever cared for the now, because there wasn’t much of a future left for any of us, and watching him walk away, is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do for a long time.
Bob’s POV (what bob’s point of view? I fucking know right!)
I was waiting for Mikey in the bathroom like I always do, to stand guard, but I was now aware that Mikey had a little issue with other people being in the room while he pissed, he’s not as bad now we’ve gotten to know each other, but the kid still likes to take his sweet time, I could hear muffled voices coming from the closed window against the wall, I walked toward it and glanced out, it was Frank and Gerard, I couldn’t see Frank’s face but Gerard looked to be crying, I pushed the window open slightly so I could hear the voices more clearly “So you’re leaving? just like that?” I heard Gerard say, pain in his voice, Frank couldn’t seriously be leaving, I mean it’s his choice but in my view it’s fucking suicide the next to speak was Frank “Yes, Gerard I have to…” I moved away from the window as Frank turned around to walk away, I swear I saw a tear roll down his cheek, why would he leave, if he’s sad about it? I turned back to the cubicle Mikey was in to see him standing in front of the door with a confused expression on his face, I placed a finger over my mouth to signal that he needs to keep his mouth shut, he walked over to stand next to me “Has it not gone through your mind…” Gerard’s voice cracked as the words left his mouth, Mikey let out a small whimper realising his brother was upset “That maybe we’re already ‘too’ attached to you?” I felt myself nodding at his remark, I’d really taken to Frank, he was an awesome kid, I felt Mikey’s hands grip my arm as if for reassurance, after Gerard had finished his sentence Frank turned around back to face him, I heard him left out a quiet pained sigh, that went unnoticed by Gerard “you’re the first person, I’ve told, that didn’t hate me, that didn’t run, that didn’t call the fucking cops, Frank, you’re the only person beside Mikey, that I’m willing to trust completely, you can’t leave…” I didn’t know what Gerard was talking about, but I felt Mikey’s grip tighten, I turned to look at the young boy, his eyes shining brightly, but they were full of pain, I turned my ear back to the window and continued listening “then you’ll trust me when I say I know what I’m doing…” Frank’s voice was merely a whisper, there was a silence after that, I took that as our opportunity to head back to the car, whether we’d see Frank again was something we’d have to wait to find out.
As Bob lead me out of the toilets, I left a pang of pain in my chest, I’ve never heard Gerard talk like that, like he’s broken, I mean you can see it in his eyes, but to hear it in his voice was something new, Frank had changed Gerard, I noticed that from the minute we all became friends and to know that Gerard trusted him, hetrusted Frank enough to tell him what he’d done, to admit that he’d done something wrong, and Frank hadn’t cared about it one bit, I cared about Frank, he was as much a brother to me as Gerard was, but I could tell he meant more to Gerard.
Bob and I sat in the car waiting, staring at the gas station waiting for either Gerard or Gerard and Frank to emerge, after five minutes I heard Gerard start to shout “Frank!” “Frank you can’t leave me!” after listening to this for another five minutes Gerard emerged from the back of the station alone…
He climbed into the car in silence, Bob and I sat there looking at him for a few minutes “Franks gone…” he muttered, Bob nodded and started to drive.
Gerard hasn’t said anything for the last five hours, he’s been sitting with his feet on the seat, his head in his knees and his arms curling around his head, every now and again you’d hear his soft sobs, and my own heart started to crack, how could Frank do this? I mean granted he didn’t know the extent of Gerard’s feelings like I did but, we’re like a family, and families don’t abandon each other, I’ve never seen him like this before, never, not even after Bert, and Bert really tore him up, I climbed into the back seat and sat next to my brother, I placed an arm around him and his arms immediately wrapped themselves around my shoulders, and his head leaning against my chest “You know Gee, they say people don’t realise what they had until it’s gone, Frank will come back…” I said comfortingly, I felt his head shake against my chest “No he won’t.” He sat up and wiped the tears from his face “I need to get over myself, I’m here for you, to protect you, and keep you safe, Frank can go fuck himself for all I care…” he trailed off, once again he leant his head against the window and stared into the night, his sudden change of mood worrys me...
It took us a few zombie free days to get to the next stop, it was in Los Angeles I didn’t realise we’d travelled so far, Mikey, Bob and I were walking around, weapons in hand just in case, we weren’t really looking for anything in particular, but I could really go for some coffee right now, so I was looking out for an abandoned Starbucks or just a working coffee machine on my walk, Mikey was over the road, I made sure he stayed in sight as much as I’ve been in his, he’s been keeping an eye on me since Frank left, even though it’s been a few days now, I’m still not getting used to the spare seat in the car, the lack of inappropriate jokes and air guitaring to nothing, I miss him, I miss his voice, his smile, his eyes, I miss everything about him, but I have to numb the pain, I’ll numb the pain until I’m made of stone, all for Mikey, he needs me to protect him, and he’s all I have left now…
Okay, i had serious writers block on this one, I had to rewrite this chapter like five times in completely different ways until I felt like one fitted right, so hope you're enjoying it so far, next chapter should be up soon, Rate&Review and I'll give you...Mikey's Beanie hat! ~BitterLoveBlackHeart xoxo