“So you're trying to deny aspects of yourself just so you're accepted by people who wouldn't accept who you really are?”
But yeah, here it is! Next chapter is all ready to go, I just need you guys to leave me many beautiful reviews! I love talking to you guys, don't be shy about speaking :)
Chapter 9; It's Never Who You Aren't
I walked in the next day with my (finally) completed project tucked under my arm. I saw Jenna and Penina perched next to each other, chatting on the wall outside the school, and waved across at them; however, I noticed Frank was also standing there, talking to - would you believe it - Ash. Of all people, he was with that slimy git.
Okay, that’s unfair. I didn’t even know Ash that well, and it was all well and good that he was making Frank feel welcome, but I still couldn’t help the massive bubbles of jealously that filled up inside my chest. It didn’t help when I saw Frank turn and blush when he realized that I’d seen who he was talking to. I took a deep breath, shoved the urge to tell Ash to ‘back off’, then made my way over to them, smiling.
“Hey guys!” I said. Penina and Jenna smiled and Frank shrugged his shoulder sheepishly. I smiled pleasantly at Ash, not wanting to make him feel too awkward. Well, I say that.
“See you around, then,” he said, turning and walking away, hands in his pockets.
“He’s usually pretty unsociable. Making friends?” I asked Frank, who nodded but stared at a spot just behind my left ear.
“Frank, you okay?” asked Jenna. Frank smiled, blushed and nodded, shifting on the spot uncomfortably.
“Distracted by something?” I asked, my eyes flicking towards Ash’s retreating back. Frank looked up at me but blushed again. I didn’t smile back. The guy, that adorable, green-eyed midget that stood in front of me knew that I knew he was watching Ash. My heart fell towards the floor. I looked up at Jenna and Penina; Jenna had started chattering again, but Penina just caught my eye and sighed.
“Dude, really, what’s up?” Bob’s voice jerked me back to reality and out of the moody stupor that I had been parading around in for the past four periods. I looked at his face that had a look of concern etched onto it that matched the ones on the faces of my other friends. Even Frank. But Penina just looked bored. She’d already guessed.
“Sorry guys, I’ve just been...” I waved my hands around vaguely, trying to come up with an excuse. Thankfully, I’d always been good at that. “It’s my project. I shouldn’t have left it until the last minute, I’ve been freaking about it. I mean, I know what I wanted to do and how, but I left it all to the last minute and now I’m so fucking worried about how it turned out... I just think I’ve screwed up so bad....”
“Whoo, calm down, Gee,” said Jenna, shaking me. “You’re an awesome artist, I bet you did brilliantly.”
“This is why I didn’t take art,” said Bob. “You get too worked up about things, Gerard.”
“And he’s hormonal,” added Mikey.
“Shut up, Mikey,” I said, folding my hands into my lap. Penina rolled her eyes and came to sit next to me as the rest of our friends resumed their various activities.
“You’re jealous, aren’t you?” she said, so only I could hear her.
“Maybe a little bit,” I admitted.
“A little bit? Gee, you’ve been glaring daggers at everyone all day.”
“Look what’s it to you, Penina? I’m allowed to get jealous sometimes.”
“Look, I can tell you’re jealous of Ash. But really, you’re acting like an eleven year old. Get over it,” she said. I blinked at her; she could be so blunt sometimes!
“Okay, fine,” I said, crossing my arms and staring at the floor.
“He’s allowed to like whoever he wants. You don’t even know if he likes him or not!” she said.
“You don’t believe me.”
“Are you paying any attention?”
“Gerard Way, are you listening to me?” I ignored her. She sighed, and without any warning she jumped up and dug her fingers into my ribs. I shrieked and scrambled backwards, trying to shield my sides with my arms but she kept on tickling me.
“St-sttoppp!” I gasped through my giggles, as she still continued to dig her fingers into my ribs until I was a giggling, squirming mess on the floor.
“You... will.... listen... to... me!” said Penina, refusing to relent her tickling.
“Okay, I surrender!” I said, pulling my arms over my head. Thankfully, she stopped. My squealing died down and I could hear everybody else who sat in the treehouse with me shrieking with laughter. I just sat up and felt my cheeks flush.
“Why are you being molested?” asked Ray. I shrugged and glared at Penina.
“Not molesting, just flirting with each other,” said Jenna. I couldn’t help but grin over at Penina as she said that, and she grinned back at me. “See what I mean?” said Jenna, grinning and nudging Anna. I sighed and threw my sandwich wrapper at her head.
“You can talk,” I said, nodding towards Bob. He promptly blushed scarlet, but Jenna just gazed steadily at me. I met her eyes and stared back.
“Come on, I’m kidding. I know you two are just pals, and so are we!” she said.
“Friend-zoned,” muttered Penina. True enough, a flash of disappointment did flicker across Bob’s face but Jenna didn’t seem to notice, nor did she see the bright red colour that he was turning.
“Come on guys, bell’s gonna go soon,” I said, standing up. Anna raised her eyebrows at me.
“We’ve got ages left, what are you saying?” she asked. Right on cue, the bell rung. I smirked at her.
“You were saying?”
“Aye aye, ma’am.”
“What the hell, dude?” asked Ray, grinning. “You suddenly in the navy or something?”
“Well they’re all sluts in the navy, it would make sense,” said Penina.
“I’m not a slut, guys. I don’t know why people think that!” I protested, as we all made our way out into the school grounds and back towards the building. Everyone else began to run but I couldn’t be bothered, I just slumped my shoulders and walked on my own.
“You are feeling alright, aren’t you?” I stand corrected. Frank decided to walk as well. I nodded to his question, trying to ignore the disappointment that began to bubble in the pits of my stomach again.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit pissed off cos of... stuff.” Well, it wasn’t a lie. He didn’t need to know what sort of ‘stuff’ it was.
“I know what you mean. One of those shitty off days?” he asked. I nodded, trying to keep my eyes off his tight skinny jeans. Geez, Gerard, he’s been here for four days. Try and stop staring at him. Yes, he’s hot - he’s also younger than you and fancies another guy.
“Oh, shut up,” I muttered. Frank looked at me with his eyebrows raised. “No, not you! I’m just talking to myself,” I said. Frank smiled.
“Of course you were. I do that all the time.”
“Really? Finally, someone who doesn’t think I’m mental!”
“Oh, you’re mental alright, it’s just I don’t wanna be a hypocrite.” Frank and I smiled at each other for a moment, before the second bell rang and we had to dash towards our classrooms.
“Feeling better this morning?”
“Hang on? How do you know where I live?!” I shrieked, after seeing Frank waiting in my front garden on Friday morning. He sighed and rolled his eyes.
“You brought me here on Tuesday, you idiot.”
“Oh... what are you doing here?” I said.
“Woke up early and didn’t have anything to kill the time. Thought I could walk with you today.”
“Okay? Where do you live?” I asked. Frank turned and pointed up the street and through some houses.
“That way. I usually take a shorter way, but like I said... you know. I get bored walking on my own.”
“Well, thanks for deciding I was decent enough to walk with,” I said, smiling. Frank shrugged his shoulders and smiled awkwardly back. We walked in a strange silence for a moment.
“So, you stopped worrying about your project? ”
“Hmm? Oh, yeah. I sort of had a panic attack yesterday, and everything else was... I don’t know. I was just pissed off because of lots of things,” I said.
“What sort of things?”
“Just... little stupid stuff. I was having a hormone strop, just like Mikey said,” I confessed. Frank giggled. “How you enjoyed your first week so far?”
“Not bad. You guys are pretty cool. I mean, I did have a couple of friends in the last school, but we caused... a lot of trouble. I already told you about how I blew up the toilets.”
“That’s pretty genius. What did you say you did again?”
“Flushed a glob of sodium down. It reacts quickly with water, and so I pretty much had to flush it and run. The bathroom and the pipes blew up,” said Frank, grinning sheepishly.
“That is... genius. I can see you and me doing well in terrorizing this school,” I said, sighing in happiness.
“My mum told me if I got kicked out of this school, she’d send me to army camp. Not sure I want to do that,” Frank said.
“I’ve been causing mayhem in this school for four years, and I have never once got caught.”
“What sort of mayhem?”
“You know, general terror. In the first year, I spent the time being kind and cute and sweet and smart and innocent... don’t laugh!” I said, as Frank began to splutter. “I won over the teachers and became a respected student in the school, so whenever someone tried to report me for being an asshole, they wouldn’t believe it.”
“Well, once you know how to work people’s minds...”
“Ash said something about that,” said Frank. My grin slowly faded and I looked at him, frowning.
“What did he say?”
“He said something about... most of the girls and half the guys in the school? Apparently you don’t notice the looks they give you,” said Frank, shrugging nonchalantly. I raised my eyebrows.
“Yeah... um, when you left the other day to do your project, he told me... some stuff.” Frank’s cheeks had turned bright red, and I felt a little disappointment begin to well in my chest.
“You’re blushing,” I said, after being unable to come up with a reply to his statement. Frank coughed uncomfortably and looked away.
“So, what sort of stuff were you talking about?”
“Oh, just... stuff. I’d... I’d noticed that there were a few.... okay, more than a few people watching you as you walked away. I think he said something about someone watching your butt,” said Frank. I began to laugh, no longer jealous.
“You reckon he was watching?”
“Maybe,” said Frank, blushing again. Jesus, this boy could turn into a lobster if he blushed anymore.
“You’re blushing because we’re talking about Ash, aren’t you?” I said, determined to get an answer out of him.
“No,” said Frank. More denial?
“Hmm. If you say so...” I said, shrugging as we arrived at school. Nobody was waiting for us, but Ash was walking towards the gate and he sent a grimace-style smile in our direction. That’s when something clicked in my head.
“Ahah!” I yelled, shaping my fingers and pointing at Frank. Ash turned to us with an expression of shock on his face, and Frank jumped about three feet in the air.
“What the heck?! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!” he shouted.
“I’ve just figured something out,” I said, lowering my voice as Ash shook his head and walked into school. “You lied to me.”
“Three days ago, when you came around my house after school? You told me you don’t fancy guys, but you've been...”
“Please don't do this, Gerard,” interrupted Frank.
“What's so wrong about it?” I asked, looking around at him. I tried to keep my tone soft, but Frank’s face fell. “Look, what’s the matter? You've been acting really oddly... I admit I don't know you all that well, but I can tell something's up. Why did you tell me you don't fancy guys?” I said.
“You said you weren’t either,” said Frank bitterly. “And two seconds before that you said you were making out with Penina’s brother. Who, in case you hadn’t noticed, is male.”
“I... didn't want you to feel uncomfortable,” I said honestly. Frank furrowed his brow and looked up at me.
“What do you mean?”
“As in,” I said, hopping up onto the wall. “People get pretty freaked out when they learn about another's sexuality. There seems to be a stereotype that just because a guy is gay he'll hit on every other guy he comes across. I didn't want you to get freaked out. Just in case.”
“Well... thanks, I guess,” said Frank, sitting next to me. I watched him for a moment, before putting my hand on his shoulder.
“Hey. It’s alright. But you haven’t met Jaden. He is pretty hot,” I said. Frank had a weird look on his face, before bursting out into laughter.
“I get that you're comfortable with your own sexuality... what was it, boa-sexual?” he asked, grinning. I smirked and nodded. “It’s just...”
“My parents are... Catholic. Like, seriously, strictly so,” he said, staring at his feet.
“Oh,” I said, suddenly realizing.
“I don’t want to be, Gerard. They’d hate me...” said Frank. I shook my head and put my arm around his shoulder.
“I get it now. Are they...?” I trailed off, not wanting to sound too rude.
“They'd disown me, Gerard.”
“Really? They're your parents.”
“I get that.”
“So you're trying to deny aspects of yourself just so you're accepted by people who wouldn't accept who you really are?” Frank frowned and stared at me, before he rested his chin on the hand that I had holding his shoulder.
“I'm just scared that they'll hate me,” he said quietly. “And I don’t like Ash, so don’t jump to conclusions,” he muttered.
“Who is it then?”
“None of your business,” said Frank, blushing.
There we are! I don't know why I'm torturing both Frank and Gerard like this... the next chapter IS all ready to go, But I'll put it up in a few days... more Rates and Reviews, the sooner it's up, my lovelies.