Kind of a crossover of Hocus Pocus and Why the Hokage Takes Meds. Its funny though, if I do say so myself.
Disclaimer: I DON"T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS AND THE PLOT...however it would be awesome if I did...
October 31, 12 A.K. (After Kyuubi) - 08:50 PM - Konohagakure
Haruhi and Kyo were just hanging out in a local dango shop with Anko.
October 31, 1693 - 08:25 PM - Salem, Massachusetts
Outside of an old cottage, a mob is gathered (rather unnecessary, in my opinion) around three sister witches whose necks are in nooses, ready to be hung. One was a red-head, one a brunette, and the last was a blonde. A man from the crowd stepped forward and asked, "Winifred Sanderson?"
"Yes?" Winnie said, in a somewhat innocent tone.
"I will ask thee one final time."
"What has thou done with my son, Thackary?"
" Thackary? Hmm..."
" Well, I don't know. Cat's got my tongue."
The three witches started laughing at their internal joke.
Sarah, the blonde, tried adjusting her noose a bit. Kind of hard to do when your hands are tied up as well.
"This is terribly uncomfortable." She said.
Winnie addressed her sisters, "Sisters, sing. "
They start chanting something mostly incoherent.
The man who was asked the previous questions turned to the crowd and said, "Cover your ears! Listen to them not!"
A man holding what looks like a 'book' bound in human skin, throws it down to cover his ears and the book lands right at Winifred's feet. It opens up and she sees the spell that it revealed to her.
"Fools! All of you! My ungodly book speaks to you. On All Hallow's Eve when the moon is round, a virgin shall summon us from under the ground. Oh, we shall be back. And the lives of all the children shall be mine."She started laughing, evilly and maniacally.
Mr. Unnamed Question Man gives the signal and the barrels that the sisters are standing on are kicked out from under them.
(fade out of Salem)
October 31, 12 A.K. - 08:55 PM - Konohagakure
The twins were walking home from the dango stand when they heard a noise, akin to a woman's scream times 3, coming from an alley a few feet from where they were. They gave each other a look, and shrugged. Thinking'what the hell', and hearing some more noises from said alleyway, they decided to investigate, taking out a couple of kunai knives for a precaution.
Three women appared, each wearing a different colored cloak. Haruhi thought they were funny looking ANBU, while Kyo thought they were enemy ninja. The three women blinked, having expected to be in hell. They looked to the twins and the red head smiled. "Hello children. Wouldst thou tell us where we are?"
Haruhi looked to the woman then to Kyo. She swirled her index finger by her head with a sad look. Kyo snickered softly. "Lady, you talk funny. We should report you to the Hokage." Haruhi said, finally looking at the obviously annoyed ginger.
The blond, who was playing with her shapely chest up until that point, looked at the twins. "What's a hokage?" She asked.
Haruhi sweatdropped and Kyo shook his head. "Come on crazy ladies. We'll take you to him." The twins led the three strange women to the hokage building and into his office, not bothering to knock. Inside the office there sat Tsunade, looking through the old man's former desk looking for a pen. Instead she was chucking orange books across the room with a scowl. There seemed to be a never ending supply of the things flying from her. Haruhi and Kyo dodged, but the three weirdos were pelted by books. "Hey Baa-chan~! These freaks here are lost and have no idea what's going on." Kyo said, leaning against the door.
Haruhi was eyeing the 'freaks' warily. They smelled funny, and evil, but mostly like a cat. She sniffed the air, seemingly in disdain, but was really just wondering where the smell of cat was from. As she was distracted, Tsunade was trying to figure out what to do with the three women, who told her their names and that they were witches. She got a promise from them to only steal the souls of children from the sound village, and they could live in a lovely cottage near the river 5 miles from the village, along with 5acres of land to grow plants and such. The three witches believed this to be acceptable, except for Sarah. She was hitting on Kyo.
Haruhi looked up and beat the blond in the head."Kyo-niichama is in a relationship you harpy. Leave him alone." She puffed out her cheeks angrily.
Sarah laughed softly and patted the young kitsunes on the heads. "Silly kids. I'm just having fun." Haruhi glared and Kyo just looked bored.
Kakashi was called in and Sarah's attention was drawn to the older man. The silver haired jounin was at their mercy and had to take them to their home. It would be torturous for him. The twins suddenly had a newfound liking for the Sanderson sisters. Haruhi even asked Winifred, who asked to be called Aunt Winnie, for tips on torturing the scarecrow. Kyo too asked for tips, both believing that it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship and the start of a wicked day.
~Two Weeks Later~
Haruhi and Kyo had spent another night with the Sanderson sisters. Kyo opened up the window and took a deep breath. "Another glorious morning! It makes me sick!"
Winifred looked at the young boy with something akin to pride in her eyes. "Oh Kyo, you make your Auntie Winnie so proud!"
Haruhi giggled and was helping Mary stir a cauldron, making a potion to help the sisters be young and beautiful so they could stay around and help make people's lives a living Hell. "Auntie Winnie, your potion is almost done!" She called happily.
Winifred glided over and they finished the potion. "Now... who to test it on?" Winifred wondered.
The twins looked at each other with grins and Kyo disappeared. He returned with two candidates. The Banshee and Emo Queen, otherwise known to the rest of Konoha as Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha. "Pick them, Pick them!" Kyo said excitedly.
Winifred gave him another proud look and effectively killed Sasuke and Sakura, Haruhi had already dug graves in the woods. There they buried the two annoyances and lives peaceful lives with their new aunts, wreaking havoc on Kakashi and any who they felt needed a lesson in never pissing off a kitsune.