FicWad

Chapter 4 - Just Don’t Let Go

The brothers were left in uncomfortable silence again. Until, finally, “Are you gonna tell me?” Kobra Kid asked, looking very pointedly at Party Poison, who’d gone back to sitting on the bed. Staring at the floor. He didn’t answer. “Poison!” Kobra Kid snapped. No response. “You’re scaring me now, come on, please, tell me what happened.” Party Poison shook his head. This was all so stupid, nothing had happened (not really, he told himself) but everyone was talking about it so much it’d blown up to this huge thing. And the thing was, no matter what anyone said, yes, he was ashamed. Not of what’d happened (because it was nothing, nothing, nothing!) but of the reaction, the stupid, overreaction there’d been over it. He’d let Saint Jimmy get under his skin, mess with his head. And that was something to be ashamed of. So much more than a few words that probably meant nothing and a stupid little kiss on the cheek, (nothing, see, nothing!). He could admit to that, but now he figured Kobra Kid wouldn’t fucking believe him anyway. “Just leave me alone.” Finally, a response from Poison, but not one Kid was willing to accept. “Poison-” But he was interrupted, and, surprisingly, not by his brother. “Poison.” Fun Ghoul was standing in the doorway. “Could we have a minute?” Party Poison finally looked up, to Fun Ghoul, then to his brother. At first Kobra Kid gave no indication he was going to move. Fun Ghoul was staring at him too. “Fine!” Kobra Kid snapped, “Don’t fucking talk to me then.” Fun Ghoul stepped out of the way to let Kobra Kid pass. “Ghoul.” Party Poison sighed, “I don’t need you asking me-”
“You need to apologise to Rave.” Fun Ghoul interrupted. Party Poison stared at him, he hadn’t been expecting this. “What?”
“Do you have any idea how upset she is? Jet found her, outside, alone. She seemed to be under the impression that you and your brother wouldn’t give a damn if she got herself killed.” Party Poison’s eyes widened. “Is she alright? Did-”
“I managed to convince her to come back in, so yeah, she’s alright. Physically. Poison, what the fuck did you and Kid say to her?” And now he was frowning, “What? Nothing, we didn’t-”
“I’ve not seen Rave cry like that, not for years. Not since…” Fun Ghoul trailed off, and the Killjoys looked at each other, steadily. They both knew the event Fun Ghoul was talking about, but neither were willing to say it out loud. “So, again, Poison. What did you say?” Party Poison shook his head, he couldn’t think, couldn’t remember which words had been his, which had been Kid’s. Knew they all boiled down to the same thing though. “We accused her.” He said, quietly. Fun Ghoul nodded, he knew this, he just wanted it to be admitted. “Why?” He pushed. “Because of what Saint Jimmy… Oh shit.” And now it dawned on him. “Exactly.” Fun Ghoul said. “And Saint Jimmy was talking shit about you too. Which obviously wasn’t true, right?” Party Poison knew what he was doing, Ghoul was giving him a slight, gentle nudge to talk, if he wanted to. He didn’t. Party Poison shook his head. “I don’t think it was right for you to jump to conclusions with her, either, was it?” So glad Fun Ghoul hadn’t pushed the point, Party Poison sighed, pushing his hand back through his hair, “Yeah. You’re right. You’re right Ghoul it’s just…”
“Saint Jimmy.” Party Poison nodded, smiling ever so slightly. “Have a feeling he’s gonna be messing with all our minds. Naturally it’s gonna be worse for you.” Smile quickly disappeared. “What’d you mean?” Fun Ghoul frowned at him, “You‘re the leader, he‘s gonna try and get to you.” He stated, asking in his look, Party Poison still ignored it. But this time Fun Ghoul didn’t let up so easily. “Poison, just so you know. If there’s anything you… Need to talk about…” Party Poison nodded, but didn’t say anything. Fun Ghoul knew he wasn’t getting anything out of him, at least, certainly not now. “So, you gonna go talk to Rave?” He prompted instead. Party Poison grimaced, he knew this conversation was going to be awkward. “Poison. The longer you leave it…”
“I know! I know.” Party Poison agreed, standing up now. “Shouldn’t Kid be a part of this too?” Fun Ghoul looked at him, just as steady as he had all conversation. “Sure, later. It’s not exactly the same though, is it?” Of course it wasn’t. But Party Poison had hoped that, with someone else there, it might be easier. “She’s not gonna hurt you, Poison. Just go talk to her.” And though Party Poison did in fact go to find her then, he wasn’t exactly convinced on the ‘not hurting’ part.

She was still in the room Fun Ghoul had left her in. He’d told her he was going to talk to Party Poison, she’d tried to tell him not to. She was so scared that Fun Ghoul would come back, alone, telling her Party Poison wouldn’t listen, that he didn’t care. She didn’t know if she could take that, not on top of everything else. She was surprised by the voice she heard. “Rave.” Gentle and soft and… She thought her heart was about to break. Rave couldn’t even bring herself to look up at him. Party Poison took it that she was ignoring him. “I’m sorry. Alright? I’m sorry.” Rave looked up just as he was walking into the room. He came and sat down, the other end of the bed. Close, but still so far away. Her and Fun Ghoul had been closer after Saint Jimmy had caused her to move back. That wasn’t right. She was looking at him now, his turn to be looking away, sitting on the very edge, hands clasped between his knees. “I’m sorry.” He said, again. “I never should’ve accused you like that. I… I didn’t mean to, I wasn’t thinking. You know I trust you, it‘s just…”
“Saint Jimmy.” It was the second time someone had had to fill in that name for him. Party Poison was already getting sick of it. Sick of the name, sick of the man, sick of the sound of his voice, sick of his presence, sick of all the horrid, messed up feelings, sick of what he was doing, to everyone. Sick of not even being able to say his fucking name without feeling sick. Party Poison closed his eyes, forcing all that back. He nodded. “Yeah.” Now he glanced at Rave. “It’s just…” Away again. “I know what he meant- Means to you. You were right I do know your history with him and it’s…” Time to be honest. “Difficult.” Rave edged closer. Not sure if he wanted her closer, only knowing that was what she wanted. Hesitantly, she reached out her hand, going for one of his, resting on his knee instead. It was the most intimate they’d been since Saint Jimmy had arrived. “I’ll tell you the truth, tell you what happened…” Rave offered, quietly, carefully. “If you tell me.” Party Poison looked at her, finally. “Do I want to know?” The question was also ‘do you want to know?’ Rave shrugged. “I don’t know.” She said, honestly. “But it’s important, isn’t it?” He knew it was. The distrust would only get worse. And besides, as much as he didn’t want to, a small part of Party Poison really, really wanted someone else to hear what’d happened. Just so they could tell him it was nothing. Which he already knew, of course. Rave made another attempt to take Party Poisons’ hand then, succeeding this time. Felt like she was holding on to… Something she never wanted to loose. Closed her eyes and, finally. “Jimmy… No. I’m gonna be honest. I have to. We… kissed.” squeezed his hand tighter please don’t let go. “And I am so sorry for it. But, Poison, I promise you that’s it. Anything else Jimmy is saying isn’t true. I would never…” Party Poison nodded. He knew, of course he knew. “It’s my turn, isn’t it?” Didn’t wait for a reply, wasn’t sure he’d get it out if he didn’t say it now. “Nothing happened… Yet.” Because that was it, wasn’t it? That was the fucking thing that had Party Poison so messed up. It wasn’t what had happened. I was what had been…
“He threatened you?” The shock and worry apparent in her voice. And now Party Poison wished he could back track. “I guess that was what it was but-”
“Be careful, Poison.” Rave told him, very seriously, too seriously. And for Rave it was all starting to make a little too much sense. “He’s not got Johnny around anymore and… Oh God.”
“Johnny?” Party Poison had to try and remind himself of Saint Jimmy’s history, remember who the hell Johnny was. “You mean-?” But Rave wasn’t listening. “Oh, no one’ll ever truly replace Johnny. I actually think Jimmy loved him.” Small hint of venomous jealousy. “But…”
“Rave.” Party Poison interrupted, he didn’t like the way she was taking this, it was starting to sound exactly like he’d feared, exactly what he didn’t want to think about. Because, what if it ever happened, ever came to that, how would he deal with it? Could he do anything about it? Could he stop it? Could he tell anyone if he didn’t? Could he explain? Would anyone listen? Fuck! He didn’t want to think about it! So, slipping into fearless leader mode, he pretended everything was fine. “Honestly, I’m fine, I’m ok, I think I can handle it, think I can handle him.” Rave saw through it of course, shaking her head. “Don’t be too cocky, Poison. I told you, Saint Jimmy’s clever, and very, very manipulative.”
Yeah. That was what he was afraid of.

Fun Ghoul had got everyone back to the main room, mostly so none of them would wander into the wrong room and interrupt the very important conversation Party Poison and Rave were meant to be having. It was also partly so there were three people keeping an eye on Saint Jimmy, and though he’d stayed in content, smirking silence, Fun Ghoul was all too aware that he could easily kick off a situation again at will. He looked up just in time to see Party Poison and Rave walking down the corridor, together. Fun Ghoul smiled, as it should be. He glanced at Jet Star and Kobra Kid in turn, they’d seen it too, and though Kobra Kid’s smile was slightly smaller (Fun Ghoul had had a similar conversation with him as he had with Party Poison) there was no doubt that the Killjoys felt like a small realignment had occurred.
As they got near, Party Poison smiled shyly at Fun Ghoul, the ‘thanks’ evident, and Rave’s hand slipped from his as she headed straight for the other side of the room. To Saint Jimmy. Worried something had gone horribly wrong, the Killjoys watched as Rave got to Saint Jimmy, and it was with joyous amazement that they watched her slap him. The sound of it actually rang out through the room. Hand going to his cheek, Saint Jimmy still grinned. “So much violence in one day.” Rave grabbed him by the arm and dragged him far enough away so the Killjoys couldn’t hear what she was going to say. “You keep your hands off Poison, you got that?” She hissed. The grin changed a little then. “Oh… But it seemed like we’d have so much fun.” He said, making sure Rave saw him looking over at Party Poison. Rave shook her head. “Stop it, Jimmy.” She sighed. “Just stop it. He’s not Johnny, alright?” Smile gone, replaced with a hard look, a hard voice. “Who the fuck said he was?” Rave ignored him. “Just back off, Jimmy. Stop acting like your in charge around here. You’re not.” A small grin. “Wanna bet?” She was trying to be understanding, trying to remind herself that he was in a new situation, maybe not dealing with it well. But… He was threatening Party Poison. She couldn’t let that go. “For fucks sake, Jimmy! Poison is not one of your little followers. You cannot treat him however the fuck you want!” Fire in his eyes as Saint Jimmy stood. “That’s where you’re wrong. You know me, sweetheart. If I want to insult him, I will. If I want to scare him, I will. If I want to hurt him, I will.” A pause, that nasty grin again. “And if I want to-” Saint Jimmy was cut off as Rave slapped him again. “No. You won’t,” He barely reacted. Just looked across the room again. This time pointedly taking in all the Killjoys. Rave knew what he was implying. “Please, Jimmy. Just leave them alone.”
“I’ll tell you just what I told the baby brother, can’t guarantee they’ll stay away from me.”
“Well, I can.” Rave said, turning to head back over to the Killjoys. “Please.” Saint Jimmy laughed. “You can’t even keep yourself away.” She had to stop herself from running to Party Poison then.

It was meant to be Party Poison’s turn to stay up, keep watch that night. But after everything that’d happened so far, and that was likely to come (everyone knew the saga of Saint Jimmy was far from over) Fun Ghoul offered to take his turn. Party Poison had tried to protest, “No way Ghoul. You were up last night. You can’t-”
“So what? I’m fine. You’ve had a harder day than me, and anyway” a quick glance behind Party Poison, to the girl who’d started all this, who currently looked nervous and alone and every bit as vulnerable as she had the day Party Poison had first saved her life. The effect Saint Jimmy has on people. “I think Rave kinda needs you tonight.” Party Poison just looked at him, a little surprised, then also glanced back at Rave. “Ghoul. It’s really nice you’re thinking about her, and it’s not as if I’m not but… I’m not gonna let you run yourself down just so me and Rave can-”
“Whoa! Stop. Don’t wanna hear it. And I don’t mean that. I mean she needs you, Poison. She just needs you.” Just like always. And, finally, Party Poison smiled. “Ok, I guess. Thanks. But if you need anything just wake me and-”
“I’ll wake your brother or Jet. No fucking way I’m going in your room tonight.” Fun Ghoul told him, with a grin. Party Poison rolled his eyes.

“And he’s sure he’s alright?” Rave asked again as Party Poison closed the door behind his back. “It’s Ghoul. Of course he’s sure.” Party Poison told her again. She nodded, settling herself awkwardly on the bed, unsurprised but still slightly sad to see Party Poison hadn’t moved away from the door. “Poison.” She said, quietly, unsurely. “I’m coming.” He replied, gently pushing himself off the door and sitting beside her. “Poison.” Rave said, again, exactly the same. “I don’t want… Just because Saint Jimmy… We can’t…” Party Poison silenced her with a kiss. “Enough about him.” He told her. And for the, what was it, fourth? Time that day, Rave felt like crying. But this time because she knew, at least temporarily, she and Party Poison were right back where they had been, this morning, before they’d stopped the car, before they’d headed into the fight, before Saint-
Party Poison was right. No more about him. Just about them. For a while at least. It’d been a while since Rave had clung to him so tight. Don’t let go.