Categories > Original > Drama > Chicana

Slow Breaths

by sickly_ill 1 review

Even when he’s eating I love him to death.

Category: Drama - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Romance - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2012-09-09 - Updated: 2012-09-09 - 4990 words

0Unrated
We all ordered as the waiter brought the wine and poured everyone a glass. “Um, can I get a glass of water as well?” I asked.
“Our course, miss.” The waiter smiled and quickly brought me back a glass of ice water.
“Why did you order water?” My dad asked me.
“You know I don’t drink, Dad. But when I do, I prefer to do it responsibly.” I smiled. Armando just shook his head. “What?”
“You were always the kiss ass.” He chuckled and my jaw dropped. I heard Marcelino snort. I hit him on the arm.
“Raquel, manners! No hitting at the table.” I just nodded and frowned. That was one of my father’s downfalls. It was all about manners and impressions with him. You had to look presentable every second you’re in the presence of other people. Dad took a sip of his wine and just then I felt Marcelino’s hand on my thigh. I looked over at him and slightly smiled. He then took my hand under the table and he rubbed his thumb over my fingers ever so gently. We all sat in silence for a while. We all had something to say, but none would go first. I opened my mouth to say something when I heard Marcelino’s cell phone start ringing. He fished it out of his pocket and looked at the caller ID. I saw it was Ghost.
“Excuse me. I gotta take this.” He kissed my cheek and left the table. I saw him walk outside and answer his cell. He was pacing. Something was up. I just tried to distract myself by asking Armando, “Where were you stationed before you got back?”
“Uh, Iraq.” He said with disinterest. I just nodded.
“What branch are you in anyway?” Dad asked. I heard Armando start describing what he does, but I kind of tuned out because I looked back to see Marcelino through the window. He looked nervous. Then I saw him nod and hang up the phone. I looked angry and disappointed as he was coming back in, but once at the table that all was put away and he smiled.
“Sorry.” He smiled, sat, and took my hand again. My dad and Armando resumed their conversation.
“What did he want?” I asked Marcelino quietly.
“Nothing.” He lied.
“Does it have something to do with that pack of weed in your closet?” I asked in a very hushed whisper. I felt his hand tense up. I know I said I wasn’t going to bring this up tonight, but curiosity got the best of me.
“How…?” Marcelino started, then it clicked.
“When I was looking for a shirt.” I said and he nodded with his head hung low.
“Look, this is only temporary. This is my last deal and I’m done.” He reassured.
“It better be.” I said and then smiled at our waiter who came back with our food. We all ate politely and made some small talk as we waited for our dessert. By the end of dinner, we were all full and had all caught up with one another.
“Are we all ready to head out?” Dad asked.
“Yeah,” I said quietly. As we all got up Marcelino grabbed my hand.
“I needa leave right now.” He whispered into my ear.
“Do you wanna borrow my car?” I asked.
“No. I’ll be staying in Portland until I’m done.” He said. I didn’t want to ask what he was going to do. I already knew. I had some knowledge in how this shit goes down. My dad was a dealer when I was younger. I knew what he did. I knew how he did it. But I never questioned him about it. He didn’t like to talk about it, and neither did my mom.
“Okay. Are you gonna come over after or just head on home?” I asked.
“Do you want me to come over after?” He asked.
“I always want you with me.” I smiled.
“Then I’ll come over.” He grinned and kissed me. He then hugged me tightly. His cologne driving me crazy.
“And hurry. I’ll be waiting.” I brushed my fingers against his crotch. He let out a muffled moan. We reached the car and he went his separate way.
“Where’s he going?” My dad asked.
“He needed to do some stuff here in Portland.” I said simply.
“Oh.” My dad nodded and we all piled into the car once more. On our drive back I prayed to God to keep Marcelino safe tonight, and to bring him home unharmed.

Getting home, I bade Dad goodnight as he went upstairs. Armando and I were left alone in the living room. “Did you have a good time?” I asked him.
“Yeah. Tonight was fun.” Armando smiled. His smile was the same as I remembered it. Perfect. “I really missed you, Raquel.” He said as he sat on the couch. I took a seat next to him silently. “All this time not seeing you or hearing your voice was hell. I was all you had left and I walked out too.” He hung his head in shame.
“Armando…” I began, but he cut me off.
“No, Raquel. I walked out on you. I’ve regretted that day ever since. I have. And my if it takes the rest of my fucking life I’ll make that day up to you. I promise.” Armando took my hands in his and looked me in the eyes. “Te lo juro.” I just nodded. He embraced me and we both stayed like this for the longest time. Though we both said nothing, everything that needed to be said was already being said as we hugged each other with all our might. Begging the other to not let go. “Okay.” Armando said. “You need to get to bed.” I just nodded and kissed the top of his head.
“’Night.” I said.
“’Night.” He replied and we both went our separate ways. Getting into my room I wiped off my makeup and stripped down to my under garments and crashed onto my bed. I was tired, but I couldn’t sleep knowing Marcelino was on the streets of downtown Portland dealing. So I got comfy under the sheets and just waited for his safe return. I just laid in my bed wondering about everything that could go wrong. I knew I shouldn’t think like this, but I couldn’t help it. My mind was racing and I felt one small tear stream down the side of my face as I lay on my side facing the window.
It began to grow late and I was growing more worried, and more tears were streaming down my face. I finally heard a very light tap on my window and my heart leapt. I shot up and out of bed and raced to open the window. I sighed in relief as I saw Marcelino’s smiling face. He came in and hugged me. I clung to him and sobbed. “Why are you crying, babe?” He asked as he pulled away slightly and held my face in his hands.
“I was just worried. And now you’re home I’m relieved.” I said. He just smiled and wiped my tears away. I always loved when he did that because it let me know that he still cared. And he always did it very gently as if he didn’t he would break me which made me feel vulnerable which made me feel normal and human. Whatever Marcelino did made me feel comfortable and alive. It made me feel wanted and loved.
“C’mon. Let’s get to bed. Stop crying.” Marcelino smiled and took off his clothes. He remained in his boxers as he led me to the bed and we both crawled underneath the sheets. He spooned me and I felt safe once more. “I love you.” He whispered in my ear.
“I love you too.” I kissed his hand. He nuzzled into my neck and we both just laid together in silence. And in my thoughts I finally realized that I had become my mother. Well, for a moment I had. I remember her now.
There she sat. It was close to midnight and she was sitting in my dad’s big brown chair. She didn’t say or do anything, but waited. Sometimes she would read or sew or knit, but I could tell she was always distracted because her eyes said that she was in deep thought. Though I never knew what she was thinking about sitting in my dad’s chair, she was always thinking something sad. I watched her hands tremble and her eyes water at times. She never knew I was watching her, but I was.
It wasn’t until my dad came through the door that she stood up and hugged him. Sometimes she would cry in his arms. I always wondered why she was so worried and sad when he wasn’t home. But once I found out my dad was dealing, I understood why she waited. I understood her sadness and her tears. And now that I had felt the same, I understand love. I would do anything for Marcelino. And I would die if he were hurt or gone.

The sunshine was coming through my curtains. It was very nice outside. Summer was on its way and I couldn’t wait.
I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and yawned. As I was waking I didn’t feel Marcelino’s body next to mine. I turned and saw a small note on the pillow.
Had some business I needed to take care of. But I’ll see you after school.
Love You,
Marcelino
I just sighed and got up to get ready for school. I didn’t put in much effort to look pretty today since I didn’t have anybody to look pretty for. So I ate a blueberry bagel and headed off to school after leaving breakfast for Armando.
Getting to school was okay. Wasting time in class was boring. But lunch was little interesting today. We got a new kid in history. He was tall, muscular and tan. I couldn’t make out what he was. But he was sitting alone and I felt bad. So, being the nice person that I am I headed over and asked, “Can I sit here?” He just nodded. I sat down politely and laid out my lunch. “What’s your name again?”
“Yas.” He said simply.
“Where does that come from?” I asked.
“I’m Native American. It means snow in Indian talk.” He joked. I smiled.
“From what tribe are you?” I asked.
“I am Navajo. I just moved here from the reservation in Arizona.” He said. I could see now his dark hair tied up in a bun wrapped with a white leather band and beads of turquoise hanging off of the end of the leather.
“Interesting.” I said. “What part of Hillsboro did you move in to?”
“We found an apartment at Hampshire Downs.” He said. “It’s not too far from here.”
“I know where they are. It ain’t too far from my house either.” I chipped in. “What kind of classes are you taking?” I asked. He took a bite of his chicken burger and took out his schedule and handed it to me. “A-day: AP Stats, advanced drawing, AP U.S. History, and P.E. 2. B-day: Junior English, cartooning, physics, and study hall.” I read. “So you’re a junior.” I smiled. He nodded. “Me too.” I said.
After lunch I showed him to the gyms and we parted ways. The next time I saw him he was walking home. I pulled over right next to him. “You know there’s a bus that drops you off right next to your apartment.” I yelled.
“I missed it.” He stopped and said.
“Well, get in. I can give you a ride.” I unlocked my doors.
“Nah, I don’t wanna waste your time.” He said.
“Don’t be silly. I live near you anyway.” I smiled. Yas just sighed and got in the car. “If you want, I can drive you to and from school every day.” I suggested. “I wouldn’t mind the company.” I shrugged.
“You sure? I don’t wanna be a bother.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“Yeah! It’ll be fun! We’re friends, right?” I smiled. He just nodded. “Now, which apartment do you live in exactly?” I slowly pulled into the apartment complex.
“Um, you can just drop me off at the office.” He pointed to a one level building straight ahead. I just nodded. He fully didn’t trust me yet, and that was okay. I was surprised he even let me drive him home.
I parked in front of the office and he got out. “Thanks for the ride.” He smiled. “Just pick me up here tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I nodded with a smile. He closed the door gently and waved as I pulled out and headed home.
Upon getting home I saw an unfamiliar car in the driveway. I parked and went in. Armando was washing the dishes. “Uh, who’s car is in the drive way?” I asked as I put my keys in the bowl and dropped my bag on the couch.
“Dad bought me a car.” Armando said drily. “I told him not to but he did anyway. Without me even knowing.” He dried the last plate. “And he said I could stay here as long as I needed.”
“He’s just trying to help you. Don’t take it so personally.” I smiled.
“It just makes me feel likes he trying to buy me. Trying to make up for the lost time.” He dried his hands and wiped down around the sink.
“Then just tell him that. And you know that Dad isn’t the most affectionate person in the world. But I know he loves you and is really happy you’re here.” I smiled.
“How do you know that?” Armando asked.
“Dad doesn’t take just anybody to Castagna. And he certainly doesn’t hug and cry for just anybody either.” I smiled. “With you have lived with him as long as I, you pick up on those things.”
“Thanks, hermanita.” He came and hugged me.
“Anytime.” I patted his back. “Now, I’m gonna go upstairs to do some homework. I start making dinner at 6:30, and if you have any laundry that needs washing just throw it in the hamper and I’ll start on it tonight.” I went to grab my bag from the couch.
“I already did.” He said.
“Okay,” I nodded. I went upstairs and pulled out some books from my bag. I laid them down on my desk and sat in my swivel chair. I grabbed my i-Pod and plugged it into my i-Home. Deep in homework and Knightowl I didn’t hear the doorbell ring.
A knock at the door jolted me out of my chemistry homework. The door opened and Marcelino came in. “Hey, baby.” He smiled and kissed me.
“Hey,” I said. “Where have you been?”
“I was with Ghost finalizing some business.” He admitted. I nodded. “Look, babe, I know you don’t like it, but I’m done. I just had to go get my cut and that’s it. I’m gonna get a real job and be a normal working Latino.” He smiled. I just looked at him. “I promise, Raquel. I even have an interview today.”
“Really? Where?” I asked.
“Working at the McDonald’s downtown. Next to the Jiffy Lube.” He smiled.
“Oh my God. We’re both gonna be working for the Golden Arches.” I laughed.
“Well, at least it’s a start.” He smiled. I nodded and kissed him. “Even though I won’t be making as much as I did dealing, it’s better that way. Dealing comes with too many risks I don’t want to take. One of them being losing you, and I’m not about to take that risk. Not even for a million dollars.” A tear came to my eye.
“What about two?” I asked with a chuckle.
“Not even then.” He smiled. “You’re priceless.” I kissed him passionately and with all my being, and I could feel he did the same. “So, how was your day, babe?”
“It was interesting. I made a new friend.” I smiled.
“Ooh, is she cute?” He joked. I smacked him.
“No! He’s a guy and he’s nice.” I said.
“Sounds like I need to meet this kid.” Marcelino smiled. I rolled my eyes.
“He’s just a friend. And he’s new so I wanted to be nice and introduce myself.” I smiled.
“Well, that’s how I met you.” He defended.
“True, but I have you. I don’t need anybody else.” I kissed him again.
“What homework are you working on?” Marcelino took my book in his lap.
“Chemistry.” I frowned. “I hate chemistry.”
“Are you done with it yet? Want help?” He asked turning the pages.
“No, I’m good. I just need to finish up the short answer question and I’m done.” I took back my book and put it back on my desk.
“Okay, I’ll just wait for you to finish up.” He laid down on my bed and took out his phone. I got back to my homework and ten minutes later I closed my book and sighed. I looked over at Marcelino who was laying on my bed and texting. I laid down next to him and started to kiss his hands and up his arm to his shoulder. I then straddled him as he laid on his stomach and held himself up on his elbows, and started to massage his shoulders. He moaned. “Babe, this feels good.” He laid himself down completely and I continued to massage his shoulders and now his back. “Damn, babe. Why are you so perfect?” He moaned. I just kept quiet and kneaded his muscles with my hands. Once I got tired I placed a kiss between his shoulder blades and rolled over to lay next to him. “Thanks, baby girl.” Marcelino kissed me.
“I have magical hands.” I laughed.
“I know you do.” He wiggled his eyebrows. I just pushed him and got up. “Where you going?”
“Wanna go for a walk?” I asked. He got up and after getting out some cash from my wallet, we both went downstairs. I opened the door and found Armando planting flowers in the empty soil we had lining our patio. “What are you doing?” I chuckled and asked Armando.
“I need a hobby.” He said simply.
“Why don’t you take up MMA or something at the rec center?” I asked.
“’Cause I like being outside. And flowers are beautiful.” He smiled.
“Sounds logical.” I nodded. “Well, we’re gonna go for a walk. We’ll be home later.” I took Marcelino’s hand and started down the drive way.
“Don’t stay out too long!” Armando called after us.
“What are you? My dad?” I joked and continued walking.
Hand in hand, Marcelino and I walked to Tyson Park next to Intel. I sat on one of the swings and Marcelino began to push me gently. His soft hands on the small of my back. It was a nice day. Being spring, it was partly cloudy with a lukewarm breeze. I loved the wind in my hair as Marcelino pushed me higher and higher. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. But then I didn’t feel Marcelino’s hands on me anymore. Opening my eyes I saw him watching a medium built figure. I squinted my eyes and saw it was Ricky. They must have released him already. I stopped myself and went to stand beside Marcelino. I saw Ricky stopped and stared at us. “Don’t let him ruin our day, okay?” I took Marcelino’s hand and laid my head on his shoulder.
“I won’t.” He said. They stared each other down until Ricky started walking again. But this time it was towards us. “Stay here.” Marcelino started to advance towards Ricky, but I pulled him back. He just looked at me and stayed put once I silently communicated to him that I wasn’t leaving his side.
As Ricky got within a few yards from us I squeezed his hand and placed my other took a hold of his bicep. I didn’t grab him from fear really, but more just to let him know I was still there and wouldn’t leave his side.
Ricky was now right in front of us. “That pretty little face of yours healed I see.” Ricky smirked and brushed his knuckle against my cheek. I pulled away from his touch and Marcelino puffed out his chest and moved over to stand in front of me. “You’ve got someone to fight your battles too.”
“Get out of here, Ricky.” I said over Marcelino’s shoulder.
“I will. Once I get what I want from Smiley here.” Ricky turned to look Marcelino right in the eye. Both chest to chest, I saw them clench their jaws and take slow breaths.
“Que quieres pues?” Marcelino spat.
“Ya sabes lo que quiero.” Ricky smirked.
“That’s something you needa take up with Ghost, not me. I’m done with that shit.”
“Aww, is Marcelino quittin’ for his boo thang?” Ricky mocked in a baby voice.
“As a matter of fact, I am! She’s worth it!” I inwardly smiled.
“Man, whatevers. I’m out. Tell Ghost to give me a call and hook it up.” Ricky throws a kiss my way as he turns away and walks on to wherever he was headed. As I see Ricky disappear into the cookie cutter houses, I hear the ice cream truck.
“Babe!” I gasp.
“What?! Are you okay?” Marcelino turns to me with a face of concern.
I giggle. “I’m fine. But I want ice cream!” I grin. He just shook his head and chuckled.
“Okay,” he nodded and we headed towards the ice cream truck as it comes into sight. We both get sherbert popsicles. Then we go to sit on the benches near the baseball diamond. We silently devour our ice cream and get up to walk some more. “Where are we headed next?” Marcelino asks.
“You pick this time.” I grab his hand. We enlace our fingers and I can feel the love radiating off of him. He just smiles and starts down towards downtown. “Where are we going again?” I ask.
“You’ll see.” I just stay quiet until we reach our destination.
“Nobody’s home.” Marcelino smiles as we enter the small apartment. “Let me just grab a few things and we’ll be on our way.” He kisses me and then heads to his room.
“On our way to where?” I ask. He just stays silent and I take a seat on the couch. I wait quietly and jump when I hear Marcelino rummaging noisily about his room. “Babe, what are you doing?” I ask and get up. I walk down the hall and stand in his doorway. He’s packing a bag. “What are you doing?” I ask again.
“Just trust me.” He smiles. I just furrow my brows. “Okay, we can go now.” He grabs my hand and leads me out to a small garage. He opens it manually and I see a black El Camino. It’s shiny black color contrasts with the chrome edging and red rims. My lips curl into a smile. “Beautiful, isn’t she?”
“The most beautiful.” I bite my lip and head to the passenger side to look inside. I see a whole new interior. Black cloth seats with red stitching and a totally rebuilt wood dash. Hanging from the rearview mirror is Marcelino’s diamond cross. The one he wore to dinner the other night. “Is she yours?” I ask and look up at Marcelino to see him nod.
“I found her on the side of the road. Even all banged up she had potential beauty.” He roams his hand over the hood and up the driver’s door. “Me and my cousin, Fabian, hauled her over to his garage. It took a lot of time and money, but we rebuilt her.” He looks at me. “Her name is Rocio. And we’re heading to beach in her.” I look at him and smile.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” I squeal, open the door and slide in. Marcelino does the same. He puts the keys into the ignition and Rocio roars to life. He then put her in gear and we slowly pull out of the garage. Marcelino stops and closes the garage back up and then we’re on the road.
The sun feels good on my body as we are on the highway. The wind whistles by and we’re blasting some good music. We see the ocean view as we enter Newport and I smile. The sun is high in the sky and it shines magnificently on the water. The fresh ocean air is soothing.
Marcelino drives until we’re within walking distance of the warm sand. He parks and we both get out. I take in a deep breath and let it out softly. The sound of the waves crashing melts my heart. “C’mon.” Marcelino grabs my hand and we walk down to the shore. We watch the waves and boats and birds. Eventually we hit the water and I remove my sandals. I let the chilling water hit my feet. It’s cold, but refreshing. I hadn’t been to the beach in so long. “Wanna go walking around on the Bayfront?” I nod and we head back to the car.
I feel the sand sticking to my feet. “Dammit.” I mutter.
“What?” Marcelino asks.
“I’m gonna get sand in Rocio.” On the way over, I noticed the red carpeting was new, too.
“She’s doesn’t mind. I can always vacuum it out.” He reassures me. I just nod, but before getting back into the car I dust my feet off as best I can. I get minimal sand on the carpet beneath my feet.
We head over to the Bayfront. I loved all the little local shops. They were all so cute. After going to hell and back to find a parking space, Marcelino says, “I’m hungry.”
“Well, I’m sure there’s some good eats around here.” I say. The smell of fish fills the air. “Some that aren’t too close to the fish.” I wrinkle my nose. He just laughs. “What? I’m serious. I’m not eating in a place near that thing.” And I point to the dock.
“Okay, then. Let’s find a place as far away as possible.” Marcelino smiles and places his strong hand on the small of my back to lead me down the steep hill we had to park on.
Once to leveled ground I smell pizza. “Oh my God that smells good.” I smile. I look down the walking space and see a pizza sign. “Pizza.” I point to it.
“Let’s check it out.” Marcelino takes my hand in his and we walk. There’s a small hall leading to the pizza place. We walk in and check their menu.
“Want freshly made pizza?” I look at him.
“Sounds good to me.” He smiles and we order. A medium pizza with pepperoni, Canadian bacon and sausage.
We wait quietly as I watch the older man make our pizza in the stone oven. I know it’s going to take a while for our pizza to cook in the wood heated oven, so I look around at the stores that line the pizza parlor. I see a Bohemian shop and head inside.
The walls are dark, but the small candles give it the light it needs. Around I see a lot of candles and lotion and artwork. In the corner I see incense sticks. I’ve always wanted some for my room. I see there are all kinds of scents they come in. Apple and cinnamon, pear, lavender. But regular incense has glasses captivated me. I walk to the stand of incense and pick out a few sticks of regular incense. Then I saw some bottles of lotion. “Honey bee.” I mumble. I open it and smell it. “Mmm!”
I browse a little more, but decide to check on our pizza. I pay and go out to see Marcelino sitting by himself with our pizza untouched. “Why didn’t you call me?” I ask as I take my seat across from him.
“You were in a trance.” He laughs. “I didn’t wanna interrupt you.” He smiles. I just nodded.
“Well, you could’ve started eating without me. I know you’re hungry.” I said.
“It’s rude to do that.” He smiles. I just shake my head and grab a slice. It’s still warm. I take a bite and it tastes like heaven. “Is it good?” I nod my head vigorously.
We eat while making small talk. We’re laughing and having a good time. A good break from school is what we needed. But since getting together with Marcelino, life’s felt like a long vacation. I never really have to worry about anything with him. Which is good. I love that I don’t have to worry about anything when I’m with him. That’s why I love him. I look up at him and watch him. Even when he’s eating I love him to death.
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