Categories > Original > Humor > Easier To Lie

The Good, the Bad, and the Strange

by KTFrankie 0 Reviews

Category: Humor - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters:  - Published: 2012/10/03 - Updated: 2012/10/03 - 1105 words

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John arrived home in an even lousier mood, than when he had left. Basketball with Henry had proven to be aimless. After watching the two movies he had picked up at the local video rental box, John sat on the edge of his living room couch crying as he watched the end credits scroll upwards.

"First you let Leo die in the ocean. And then in the next movie, you go out and attempt a risky home abortion while he's away? Damn you, Kate Winslet! Damn you! Leo was good to you. All he ever did was love you and this is your way of loving him back? Well, forget it cause he's gonna get over you. Him and those two kids are gonna move far away from Revolutionary Road and that damn Kathy Bates and that loony tune son of hers. And they're gonna carve out a whole new life for themselves, just you wait! Just you wait and see!"

Suddenly the phone rang. John threw back the green and white afghan blanket that had previously covered him and ran towards the phone in the kitchen.

"Caitlin?" he said when he answered.

"No silly. It's me, your mother."

Suddenly John's voice turned from hopefully optimistic to horribly surprised.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, honey. Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no," John lied. "Caitlin just went to the store and I thought she might have forgotten something."

"Oh. Well you and Caitlin are exactly the reason I called."

"What?"

"Yes, dear I was just calling to make sure that the two of you were still on for Christmas."

"Christmas," John repeated nervously as he ran his fingers through his unkempt dark hair.

"Yes, honey Christmas-the holiday that we all celebrate once a year, on December twenty-fifth. Well, most of us anyway."

John had been so preoccupied with his existing marital troubles that he'd completely forgotten about the world outside of his life. November had come and gone and with it taken one holiday already. It was now the first week of December, and Christmas would be here before he knew it. John would need to come up with a plan, and soon.

After he'd finished talking with his mother, John hung up the phone. For a moment or two, he paced around his kitchen floor debating on whether or not to dial the phone number that lay hanging on his refrigerator door. John took the piece of paper down and held it in his hand. He'd only managed to dial three out of the seven numbers on the page when he was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Caitlin!" John said staggeringly, when he opened the door.

"Hello, John. I had my key, but it didn't seem right using it, with all considering."

For a while, John stood outside his front doorway just staring at Caitlin in astonishment.

"Well are you going to invite me in? Or are we just going to stand out here all day?"

"Invite you in? But Caitlin, it's your house too."

"I know that, John. But could we just pretend that the last six weeks haven't been completely irrelevant?"

"Okay, then," John said as he stepped aside to let Caitlin walk in to the house. "Well I guess first things first, w-what are you doing here?"

"Well," she said as she slid the green and white afghan over to sit down on the couch. "I received a rather unexpected call today."

"No kidding."

"Three calls actually."

"Hmm, you don't say?"

"Yes, John. One from Mark and then another from my father."

"Oh, how are they?"

"Oh, they're fine."

"Oh, good. Good. And who was the third one from? Your mother?"

"No, John. Yours, actually."

"Mine?" John winced.

"And well I thought it only fitting I come over here myself to tell you."

"Well, what did she want?"

"She was wondering what dessert we were planning on bringing for Christmas, since I was already at the store."

John cringed, "Well, let's just say I haven't really gotten around to telling her about us just yet."

"Yet? John, it's been six weeks."

"I know that, Caitlin! Wait, so you've told your family then?"

"Well, not exactly."

"Not exactly? Ha!" John said as he stood up and walked towards the kitchen.

"Ha? And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, come on Caitlin. Cut the crap, will you? You come in here and act like you're so indifferent, but admit it! You haven't told your family about us either because you can't bring yourself to do it. Can you?"

"You're right, John! I couldn't bring myself to tell them and do you want to know why?"

"Why Caitlin?"

"Because I couldn't give myself even the slightest satisfaction of being right."

"I don't understand."

"The satisfaction that even I couldn't make my marriage work. A marriage that was built on nothing but love. Me, the English girl who ran off to America to escape a fate that would mirror her parents and now here I am doing just that."

"Caitlin, you…"

"Its fine, John," Caitlin said as she stood up and walked towards the door. "I see now that it was a mistake even coming here."

"No!" John said as he ran towards the front door. "What do you say we just forget the last few minutes and rewind to what you were saying when you first came in? Please, Caitlin? Could we at least give that a shot?"

Caitlin took her hand off of the doorknob and returned to her seat on the couch.

"So what do you suggest we do about our little crisis, then?"

"Well to me, it sounds like there's only one thing we can do."

"And what do you suppose that is?"

"We've got to spend the holidays with our families."

"Absolutely not! It's completely out of the question."

"And why not?"

"For one, it wouldn't work. And secondly, it would never work. You know your mother, John. And not just her, your entire family, not to mention my family for that matter. They would see through our little sham in a heartbeat. Then where would we be?"

"Well then, our only other option is to pick up the phone and tell them ourselves. Right now."

John picked up the phone and pretended to dial.

"Do you want to go first? Or should I?"

Caitlin grabbed the phone from John's hand and placed it back down on the hook.

"If we're going to do this, John then we're going to have to do it right. No screw up's, no mixed up stories. We're going to have to carefully plan it all out. Together."
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