Categories > Original > Humor > Poles Apart0 Reviews
"Yes, Jon. I know. Now how 'bout I take you home now?"
"No, no, no. I wanna stay here. Everyone loves me here. Right, guy?" Jonathan asked as he raised his glass to the man behind the bar.
The man nodded hesitantly, "Look pal," the man said. "I don't want any trouble. So why don't you take your mate here, home."
"Sure," Pete said. "Come on now, Jon. We'll go to my house, then."
"Alright," Jonathan nodded. He stumbled off of the bar stool, "Alright, Pete alright. Just as long as we don't have to go back to my house. I don't want to go back to my house, Pete. I can't go back to my house."
Jonathan walked up the stairs to Peter's apartment with his arms around Peter's shoulder.
"Alright, mate. We're almost there."
An attractive young woman walked past them, "Hello, Pete."
"Oh, hello, Ilene."
"Hey!" Jonathan drunkenly shouted. "Hey, you. Ilene! Do you know Melanie Davies?"
Ilene shook her head, "No. Should I?"
"No, Ilene. You shouldn't. And it's a good thing you don't. Because Melanie Davies is a terrible person! A terrible person! She's a cheater! She cheated on me as a matter of fact! Left me for another bloke. And I was gonna give her this," Jonathan slurred as he pulled out the ring in his pocket and showed it to Ilene.
"Oh," Ilene said awkwardly. "I'm sorry."
"You're sorry, I'm sorry, Pete's sorry. You want to know who's not sorry, Ilene?"
"Melanie," Ilene answered somewhat confusedly.
"Exactly," Jonathan drunkenly shouted. "Of course she said she was, but she was probably lying. Again!"
"Well then, it was nice talking with you…"
"Jon, his names Jonathan," Pete said.
"Yes, well again I'm sorry about your recent troubles, Jonathan and it was lovely meeting you. A real experience."
"You're lovely, Ilene. Such a pretty name Ilene, don't you think Pete."
"Yes, Jon. It's a very lovely name."
"Not like Melanie. I mean who does she think she is, the sixth spice girl or something?"
"Alright now, Jon. I think you might be starting to embarrass us a bit."
"Embarrass us? Me," Jonathan sighed. "Ilene doesn't find us embarrassing, Pete. Do you Ilene?"
"Me? Of course not, but I'm afraid I've got to be going or else my Nan will be rather sore at me."
"Well in that case we'd better not keep you any longer than we already have," said Pete as he readjusted his friend's arm on his shoulder.
"Alright, well I guess I'll be seeing you then," Ilene said as she made her way further down the stairs.
"See you, Ilene," Jonathan yelled loudly.
"Yeah, see you."
"Oh and good luck to you, Jonathan. I hope everything turns out for the best," Ilene said as she disappeared from both Jonathan and Pete's view.
"Nice girl that one," Jonathan said as the two continued making their way up the staircase. "You know her?"
"Yeah, Jon. As a matter of fact, I do."
"Oh? Really, well that's lucky. Maybe I should consider moving over here, you think?"
"Whatever you want, Jon."
"Why on earth, do you have to live at the top of the bloody building," Jonathan complained.
When they'd finally arrived at Peter's door, Peter unlocked the door and carried his friend over to the couch.
"Ah, there we go," Pete said as he let out a sigh of relief.
Peter walked to the kitchen, "You want anything, Jon?" he asked. "Jon?"
Pete walked back into the front room and watched as Jonathan snored loudly. He then grabbed a blanket that was laying on the back of the couch and placed it on top of Jonathan.
"Sleep it off, mate. Sleep it off."