Hey so I was able to post up 27. Thank god!!
I am 8 months in my pregnancy and I can't stand it anymore! My belly has grown a lot more and I feel like I'm going to pop. Ugh, remind me not to have another baby please?
"Henry!" I call from inside the shower.
"yeah?" he bursts in.
"help me out please?"
"yes honey." I open the curtain and he grabs my hand helping me step out.
"it gets harder and harder everyday." I comment wrapping myself in my towel.
"it's almost over. Don't worry." he wraps his arms around my huge belly and kisses my shoulder as we walk out.
"we're going to have a beautiful little girl." he says as we look at each other in the mirror.
"yes. Thought of any names?"
"no." he laughs.
"me either." I sigh, "well, I need to get ready so we can head out. Pass me my journal please." I take my towl off and put on my robe instead and sit on the arm chair in my room.
"are you sure you want to do this?" he says following me.
"you're little plan for Edith?"
"Henry, you're not going to change my mind okay?"
"but.. What if Edith is happy with her guy."
"she could, but she still loves Gerard."
"but what if she got over it?"
"ugh, Henry! Shut up before I smack you okay? I'm doing this wether you like it or not!" I slam my notebook close and get up carefully.
"but you don't know how Eddie feels about this! What if she hates you forever??"
"I don't want to hear it." I look through my closet for my undergarments and a sun dress.
"does this make me look fat?" I model the dress for Henry. He raises his eyebrows.
"you do realize you're pregnant."
"you're always negative about things!" I yell and go in the restroom.
"calling me fat. Pfft. How do I look Mr. Mirror?"
Gosh, her hormones come kicking in and out. I love that she's carrying my child but I just hate how she's moody all the time! I just can't wait till she pops. She'll probably stop being so moody.
I inhale and exhale remembering the first day I laid eyes on her. Never thought she'd be so great and be the mother of my child. I always thought I would be in love with Edith forever. Pfft, such an idiot I was. I'm glad I gave Linda a try. It was a lucky chance.
Her and I have been through some tough times it's not even funny. I remember when we completed 7 months, she met my parents. It didn't go so well.
My parents told me to brake up with her since she was a punk girl. They didn't like that kind of stuff. I told them Edith was the same, But they didn't care about her. They liked her for some reason. They wanted me to marry her! But I told them she had a boyfriend. It took them a long time to get over it. So I guess that's why they didn't like Linda. Because they liked Edith. And until this day, they do not approve of her. They do not approve my child either. I hate them for it. They're not even coming to my wedding. It's ridiculous. That's also a reason why I moved out of my house. Because of them. And I wanted to live a happy life with Linda.
Linda's parents love me. I met them early when we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Her mother is so sweet. But her dad was never around so, it's like if I haven't fully met him.
He died a couple of years ago of drugs and alcohol and it killed Linda. She was really sad for a few months but then got over it. Realizing her dad wasn't as good of a father anymore.
Other than those problems, we've had such a great relationship. Everyone tells us we look happy together and everything. It's the best feeling in the world when I'm told I have a beautiful girlfriend. It's great. I love her. And my child. It's surprising though.. Having a child. It was.. Accidental but we don't regret it. She had said she was on the pill. We had done it before without a condom. But when she started to get symptoms and she realized she was pregnant, she was scared. And she had also remembered she hadn't taken the pill for 2 days before we did it. She had lost them. I told her not to be scared because I wanted the child. She was happy to hear me say that; she was afraid I didn't want the child. That's why she was scared to be pregnant. Just remembering the day she told me she was pregnant gives me joy. It was the best day of my life. Honestly, I pictured us having a child when I was in college. But I'd never thought it was this great of a feeling. My baby girl is almost out and my dream has come true. Having a child with such a beautiful women. It's crazy how things work accidentally.
"Henry!!" I hear my name being yelled again which brings me back from my thoughts.
"yes?" I call and walk over to her in the living room.
"ready to go?"
"yes." I answer with a smile and walk out with her.
I got a call from Annie saying she's prepared a "surprise" baby shower for Linda. It's not actually a surprise because Linda insisted to know what I was trying to hide from her. sigh oh well.
"Carlos! Stop eating the cupcakes! Oh my god! Can't I get any help??"
"we're all helping you!" I hear everyone yell. I have all of Edith's friends and Linda's family members here in a park preparing for this baby shower.
"ugh.." I walk over to Carlos who's placing the cupcakes in order.
"what's wrong babe?"
"I'm just.. Stressed. I want this to be good for my cousin you know?"
"yeah I understand. Everything is going well. Don't worry." he kisses my cheeck and whispers, "isn't it such a coincidence Harry isn't here?"
"what do you mean?"
"I mean, how awkward would it be if Harry was here. Gerard is right over there talking with Edith."
"oh true, I'm glad he had that meeting."
"right. Pfft." he takes another bite off the cupcake I told him to stop eating.
"Carlos dammit!" I smack the cupcake off his hand.
"what the hell?! I was eating that!"
"ugh.." I groan and walk away.
"I was eating it already anyway. Pfft." I whisper to myself as I pick the cupcake up and throw it away. I see a pair of small feet appear in front of me. I get up and feel surprised as I have not seen this girl in so long.
"hey Carlos. Remember me?"
"course I remember you." I embrace her into a hug.
"I knew it was you. I wasn't sure it was you until Edith told me who you were."
"oh well, you look different yourself. How are you Victoria?"
"I'm pretty good. You?"
"I'm great. Really happy."
"why is that?"
"I have an amazing girlfriend."
"oh is the host of the party your girlfriend?"
"yeah, her name is Annie."
"aw, she's very pretty. I'm glad." she pats my shoulder with such a smile I have never seen in my years of knowing her.
"tell me, what has gotten into you? Not only is your hair burgandy and a bit shorter but your personality. It's like you're a new you!"
"yeah, thanks. I got tired of my old slutty mean self. I'm ashamed of who I was before. I changed years ago and it has turned out great."
"that's very good. I just- wow. I mean, I remember when we had- a thing. Remember that?" she starts to laugh, "oh yeah, I remember that. Good times."
"yeah and now it's like, I don't see that girl anymore. It's a good change."
"yeah I know. I love myself now." she giggles like a small girl and swipes her bangs from her face.
"well I have to go, it was nice talking to you."
"I feel the same. Take care."
"you too." she smiles and starts walking towards the van where the food is.
I can't believe what a difference there is in her. I mean, it's crazy. She seems so sweet now. Unlike before. Ugh I don't like to remembering but I remember she was wild in bed. Ugh, just thinking about it gives me the chills. I can't believe we lost our virginity to each other. How awkward.
Oh my god, I just can't believe how lucky I feel today. First of all, because it's Linda's baby shower and I can't wait to see her because she's pregnant and because I got the perfect gift! I got a little pink winter outfit with little hand made booties and mittens. It's adorable. I also feel lucky because, Harry had a meeting with the company to talk about production today. He also said Mr. Turner was coming to talk to him about his tour. But oh god, I'm glad he wasn't able to make it because Gerard is here. I still don't want them both to meet. It'll be so awkward. I just know everyone I know will feel awkward as well.
"hey pass me the string." Gerard says pushing my bottom with his.
"oh here." I giggle and turn to him who is climbing the ladder to hang the string.
"so Ray was talking to me the other day about the band.." I say sitting on top of the table looking up at his little pointy nose.
"yeah? What happened?"
"he said there's a record label trying to sign you guys up." he comes back to down from the ladder and looks at me, "not gonna happen." he moves the ladder to the other side.
"why not? That's great you know!" I follow him. He climbs the ladder again.
"that must mean you guys are really good."
"yeah but.. It's too much pressure. We have two record companies after us. It's stressful. And we just want to rock out. Not hit the industry. I mean, 1 in a million make it big. Who knows if we'll make it big."
"but you never know if you don't give it a try." he comes back down from the ladder and inspects the string he hung up.
"I dont know Edith.."
"come on, take it from me who has gone through this."
"what do you mean?"
"well, while I was in Canada, I wanted to audition for this other huge ballet company that needed a main ballerina to go solo on their world tour. I was nervous about it because I didn't know if I was good enough."
"damn, and what happened?"
"I didn't make it. But! Because I was too young and because I wasn't what they were looking for but they said I was good. But that's not what matters, it's at least that I tried. If you try, you never know. You could be good enough and go on tours and all that. Create other albums and it'll be awesome!"
"you have a point. But still, YOU didn't make it. It's was 1 in million."
"ugh come on Gerard!"
"fine, I'll think about it. Now tell me if that's straight." I look up at the string with him and hug his waist.
"it's fine." I smile. He looks down at me and kisses my cheek.
"she's here she's here!!" I here Emma yelling. Him and I turn around and see Henry holding Linda's hand who looks like she's about to blow.
"come on!" I hold Gerard's hand and drag him with me over to Linda. We find her being embraced with her mother and aunt. She then takes a look at me and widens her eyes. I bet because she sees me holding hands with Gerard.
"oh my god! Look at you. 2 months ago you couldn't even tell."
"I know, I dont know what happened! But come here, hug me." I hug her gently as I feel that she'll pop if I hug her tighter then my gentle touch. She pulls away with a smile. I didn't expect this, I thought she would question me about holding hands with Gerard. I move on to Henry, who's talking with Linda's mom.
"hi Ms. Valentíne." I approach both of them.
"oh I knew my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. You're Edith Lynn. How wonderful to see you." Even though I only saw Linda's mom a few times when I was in high school, she still has the same love for me. I can't believe she remembers too.
"how was Canada?" she says letting go of our hug.
"it was great. I really loved it."
"I'm glad. You moved back with your mom?"
"no, I'm living in New York with a friend."
"oh with your boyfriend Gerard?"
"oh! No, he's not my boyfriend."
"oh... How embarrassing. I thought you two were back together. I thought I saw you both hold hands."
"oh well, we're just close friends." I had no idea the whole world knew about my break up.
"oh that's great honey. I'm going to go check on Linda. I'll be back."
"ok bye Ms. Valentíne."
"yeah Edith, what was that?" Henry questions me taking me in a hug.
"I dont know, anyway.. How are you?" he squints his eyes then smiles.
"I'm great. I'm really happy actually because my baby girl is almost out."
"aww, how does it feel to almost be an official father?"
"it's wonderful. Something I could never imagine. It's scary too."
"because I dont know if I'll be a good father."
"oh I'm sure you will." I squeeze his bicep and I am surprised to not feel a pile of pudding.
"damn dude, why are you so strong!?" I squeeze as I can't believe my senses.
"oh I've been working out."
"why so much though?"
"oh because I have to be strong for my job."
"what's your job?"
"I'm a firefighter."
"ooh, how fancy. That's great. What a hunk." I laugh, "Linda is one lucky girl."
"no, I'm the lucky guy." he responds which puts a smile on my face.
"I'm happy for you." I say.
"thank you." he smiles back.
"come on you guys! Party is over here!" Ms. Valentíne calls flapping her hand. Henry and I giggle and walk over to where everyone is at.
The baby shower is going better than ever. We ate the delicious catering Annie prepared and played baby shower games. I lost this one game with pins. In the beginning, they give you a little pin you have to clip on to your shirt. The point of the game is that you can't cross your legs or arms and if you do and someone catches you, you lose and they can take your pin. Who ever has the most wins.
Apparently, I lost quickly. I had two but I got both taken away. I took Gerard's. He crossed his legs while he was sitting down drinking his soda. Then Linda took one of them and Emma took the other. It's such a fun game.
"okay now everyone gather around!" Annie yells, "we're going to count who has the most pins." Everyone gathered in a circle in the center and everyone just kind of looks towards Emma. She and Frank had the most. I can't believe they're incredibly good at this game.
"looks like Frank one you by one Emma." Emma angrily screams and pouts
"hell yeah baby! Where's my prize?" Frank yells towards Annie.
"here." she hands him a black gift bag and he opens it wildly.
"a cologne. A.. COLOGNE! Really Annie?"
"be grateful midget. Anyway, now.. A few words from our lovely Linda." Linda gets up from her seat carefully and makes her way to the center.
"thank you everybody for coming. I really appreciate you all being here this day. I'm probably the happiest women alive now. I'm having a beautiful baby and a wonderful, funny, and caring husband along my side. I couldn't wish for more." everyone starts to clap. I glance over at her mother who's crying next to my mom.
"so as you know--and for some of you--you just found out but, Henry and I are getting married as soon as I give birth." everyone, again, starts to shout and clap in happiness.
"thank you. Today, I'd like to present my bridesmaids and my future husband's best man. I'd first like to name my cousin-in-law Annie. Because she has been so caring with me. I can't thank her enough. She'll be my maid of honor. Secondly, I'd like to name one of my closets friends who's been so sweet all these years with me. Edith. I'd like you to be one of my bridesmaids." I nod in agreement and she smiles towards my direction. She starts to tear up.
"thirdly.. Augh!!!" she yells holding her stomach. Everyone gasps. Henry runs to her and holds her.
"contractions. My water.. Broke.. Augh!!" she screams again. Her beautiful neat dress is now covered in water and blood.
"but you're not due til next month!!" Henry yells. Everyone is roaming around getting stuff ready and Annie is on the phone, most likely calling an ambulance. I walk over to Linda and Gerard follows me.
"get me to a doctor!!" Linda keeps yelling grabbing Henry's hand for her life.
"they're on their way!" Annie yells running towards us.
"can I help you in anything??" I ask Linda.
"just.. Get me.. A chair. Please.." she groans. Gerard passes me a chair and sets it down for her. She sits and Henry starts to walk away.
"where the hell are you going?!"
"to get you some water!"
"no, get over here! Augh!!" she yells again gripping her dress.
"they're here!!" her mom comes around.
"here, I'll help you carry her." Gerard suggests. Henry and Gerard carry Linda over to the ambulance and away they take her with Henry. I walk over to Annie with Gerard.
"god, I hope she's going to be okay." Annie says clasping her hands together over her mouth.
"she's going to be fine. Don't worry. Now let's go in my car over to the hospital." I grab her hand and lead her over to the car.
We drive silently to the hospital. When we get there, we find her mom in the emergency room wth Henry and Linda's aunt and other family members.
"how is she?" I ask Henry.
"she's fine. Giving birth."
"so it's a premature baby huh?"
"yeah.." he sighs sadly.
"it's okay. The baby will be fine okay?"
"yes, yes it will." Ms. Valentíne strokes his back.
"can I get you guys anything?"
"no it's fine Edith. We're okay."
"alright. I'll be over there if anything."
"alright honey." Ms. Valentíne responds. Annie stays there with Henry and I walk over to some other chairs with Gerard.
"I can't believe she's giving birth." Gerard comments.
"I know, that's scary."
"well yeah, I wonder how it feels."
"oh, I guess." theres silence for a second and then Gerard looks at me again.
"do you plan on having kids?" he questions me making me imagine a life with Gerard... Or Harry...
"hmm, I do. When I'm older I guess. I don't feel ready for marriage yet." he nods, "do you want to have kids?"
"yeah.. But.. I'm waiting for someone."
"oh.. How nice..." I comment with a smile.
"who?" I question. He looks at me with a smile. Then looks ahead of me.
"look, here come the others." I turn around and find Ray, Christa, Frank, Emma, and Mikey.
"how is she?" Mikey asks sitting next to Gee.
"she's fine. Giving birth." I reply to Mikey. He puts on a worried look.
"I can't believe Linda was prego." Ray says.
"and! She's getting married.." Mikey adds.
"where has she been that she didn't tell us?"
"I dont know.. Busy being pregnant!" Emma says smacking Mikey's head.
"it's a girl right?" everyone looks at Frank who just mentioned this absurd question.
"no it's a guy." Gerard says and shakes his head placing an arm over my shoulders leaning back on his chair. From the corner of my eye, I see Christa nudge Ray and then all of a sudden there's an awkward silence...
"You're not so bright Frank." Mikey comments and everyone laughs.
Hours later, we're still in the hospital waiting for news of the baby. Everyone is still here but sleeping. The only ones awake are probably Gerard and I, Mikey and Christa. Emma and Frank are at the cafeteria. I think the baby will be here soon because they called Henry. Gee soons lays down and rests his head on my lap and closes his eyes. I touch his raven hair and comb it through my fingers.
"you need to comb your hair more often."
"nah." he giggles.
"it's so long."
"not even! I trimmed it yesterday."
"like a centimeter!"
"still something." I feel a vibration in my pocket and Gerard moves his head so I can reach my phone.
"hey." I answer.
"why don't you ever answer saying something like, hey babe."
"fine. Hey babe." Gerard's eyes pop wide open.
"hello beautiful, where are you?"
"I'm at the hospital."
"why? Is there something wrong??"
"no, I'm okay. My friend is giving birth."
"oh, okay. Have fun with that."
"so listen, if you were planning to go to my house afterwards, don't because I won't be home. I'll go over to your house."
"Kay. Thanks for letting me know."
"no problem. Bye."
"love you." I hesitate before answering.
"love you too." I reply. Gerard didn't stop looking at me one second throughtout my conversation. When I said love you, he breathed in deeply and closed his eyes getting up and walking out. I hung up and put my phone back in my pocket.
"where are you going?" I call out.
"get some coffee." he says without looking back and made a left turn. I look at Christa who half smiles and says, "boys." and giggles.
"I know." I reply and giggle.
"Isn't today just great Emma?" I ask her as we eat pudding in this lonely cafeteria.
"what exactly do you mean Frankie?"
"I dont know, the news of Linda being pregnant and the party and then this. The labor. I find it beautiful."
"hmm, yeah.." she looks down at her pudding.
"do you want to have kids one day Frankie?"
"not without you honey."
"but what if.. I can't give you kids."
"what are you talking about?" I laugh nervously.
"I dont know, I mean.. I'm never ready.."
"oh Emma.." I move over to her side of the bench and caress her cheek.
"no Emma, I don't care if you're not ready yet. I'll wait. I promise."
"you know, you'll be my first."
"I'll make it special." I kiss her hand.
"I'd have to admit, you're not my first."
She laughs, "I know Frankie. I remember you told me long ago."
"really? I don't even remember. Pfft." I hear someone coming up the hall and I turn around to find Gerard ordering a coffee angrily. He grabs it and comes over and sits with us with fire in his eyes.
"what happened?" I snort.
"Edith happened." he drinks his coffee with large gulps. He takes out a little bottle of vodka from his jacket and puts some in his coffee.
"are you crazy? You can't have that here!" Emma says.
"I don't care. I don't care about Edith anymore. She doesn't seem to care about me!"
"she was talking with her fucking boyfriend in my face! And she's like hi babe and love you too" he mocked a girl-ish voice.
"well? Is that all you're going to say?"
"well.. What else can I say? I can't control her life."
"ugh.. It just ticks me off. I should make her jealous with Vicky."
"okay no." Emma says, "that's ridiculous."
"I don't care, she's ridiculous."
"the baby is here! The baby is here!" Edith comes in running.
"really??" we all jump and I hug her.
"oh my god, it's a small baby girl!"
"what's her name?" I ask her.
"I dont know, they haven't decided."
"wow, I'm happy for them. Let's go see!" I say and drag Emma with me.
I follow Emma and Frank out but notice Gerard isn't following us.
"you're not coming?" I ask him walking a few steps back.
"no." he barely turns over his shoulder. I walk over to him and hug his shoulders.
"what's wrong? Why are you mad all of a sudden?" he turns around on the bench and grabs my waist pushing me in between his legs.
"that was your boyfriend huh?"
"yeah.." I answer hesitantly. He sighs and rests his head on my belly holding my hips tight.
"it hurts me to know you're not mine you know that? Does that ever cross your mind?"
"it does Gerard.." I stroke his hair, "and it hurts me too."
"then why are you with him? Why can't you just come back to me?"
"because... I love him too.." his grip on my hips tighten.
"you love him?"
"well.. Not the way I love you. But I do love him." he gets up but still has a hold on my waist.
"how DO you love me?"
"well, I dont know how to explain it but.. It's something very special. Something I can't control." I lean in and kiss him passionately.
"ahem." I hear someone say and I turn around.
"you guys have to stop that. Come on." it was Ray at the door. He walks over to us and separates us.
"you guys know better. Don't hurt someone else by the way you two hurt each other. Cheating." I gulp. I start to feel guilty. I look down at my hands and grip them, popping my veins out.
Ray is right, I can't be doing this with Gerard. It's either one or the other and I'm with Harry right now.
I have to respect my relationship. God.. You just can't be in love with two guys at the same time. It just isn't right.