Mostly constructed of innuendoes and gender stereotyping puns. Gerard goes to the doctor after weeks of stomach aches and morning sickness. FRERARD ONESHOT
“Gerard, have you been partaking in any form of sexual activity in the past two to three months?” The doctor asks, her face serious but not too unfriendly.
Frank and Gerard are sitting in the clinic's office, the walls are a drab grey and the desk is that fake laminate wood on cork. Neither man really wants to be there but the morning sickness and stomach cramps had been getting out of hand lately, so Frank finally put his foot down and dragged Gerard and his fear of needles to their doctor's.
Gerard has, so far, peed in three different cups and has had four different doctors and specialists look at him, after around five million years he and Frank were sent to the maternity ward to see a specialist. The doctor is, clearly, a feminist with a harsh jaw line and straggly hair pulled up tight into a bun, complete with Caterpillar boots and a dress suite. She doesn't seem to fond of Frank or Gerard but she's polite enough.
Gerard just looks down at his and Frank’s entwined hands and blinks a couple of times before saying “Yes, I have”
The doctor sort of hmms and clickety clacks away on her keyboard, an interested frown and pout taking a hold of her face “And you’re sure you’re a male?”
Gerard swallows, nods and feels his cheeks redden, all whilst ignoring Frank’s smothered giggles pointedly. Frank had actually asked the same thing on their first date, it isn't Gerard's fault he looks like a girl with long flippy red hair and round, honest eyes, but he is a man. Both Frank and Gee know that for sure.
The doctor frowns a little deeper and nods again standing up and moving away from her desk and over to where Gerard is lay on the clinic bed “I need you to take your clothes off”
“But doctor, we only just met” Gerard says with a flutter of his eyelashes.
Frank snorts and the doctor rolls her eyes “Just take em off, Gerard”
Gerard complies and strips down to his boxers, the hospital is seriously fucking cold he will tell you. He feels awkward out of his clothes but the kicking in his stomach is enough for him to keep them off, he really needs this shit fixed.
“How do you want me?” He asks.
“On your back” the doctor and Frank say in unison.
The doctor feels around Gerard’s stomach for a bit and presses some cold shit to his chest for another few minutes before apparently deciding that that’s enough naked Gerard for one day and so she tells him to put his clothes back on.
“So” says Gerard.
“So” says the doctor and then she pauses “It would seem you are currently in the possession of a womb”
“And a baby” She adds after a moment, and then shrugs. There is a long pause and then Frank giggles.
Seven months later Gerard brings to the world, Jesus Christ.