"I totally would've nursed him if he gave me a second's chance."
Hey guys! I'm sorry you had to wait for this chapter. I was lazy and I've been unable to drag myself away from the video games. Anyway, it'll probably be another week or so before the next chapter, because I'm going to visit a friend for a while, but I'll update as soon as I get back. Okay, on to the chapter!
The atmosphere in the studio was tense. Gerard barely looked at me and he didn't say a word to me. The rest of the guys acted normal, still goofing around and chatting away animatedly which made me guess that even though he was mad at me, Gerard didn't tell anyone else what happened. Even Mikey seemed cool. It showed that Gerard didn't completely hate me, because he didn't see the need for everyone else to be mad at me too. Hopefully that meant that he didn't plan on kicking me out of the band either. However, as the day progressed everyone else also became more and more sullen. They probably noticed how tense things between Gerard and I were. Fortunately, no one asked any questions nor did they bring it up. They just let us be.
It was around lunch time and everyone was sitting around the room eating whatever lunch they packed themselves and having some freshly brewed coffee, compliments of the Way brothers who were caffeine addicts. The only person not in the room was Gerard and I walked outside to find him smoking a cigarette. I lit up my own without saying anything. I was surprised that he didn't leave the second I showed up. That's what he's been doing all day. I breathed in a lung full of smoke, slowly letting it out again.
"Look, Gee I'm sorry..."
"Frank, don't," he cut me off without looking at me.
It felt weird not talking to him. We've been best friends for as long as I could remember and we've had our share of arguments, but nothing like this. Yeah, genius, it's not like you slept with his sister before. I needed to try harder.
He glared at me and I shut my mouth. Maybe now was not a good time or he just needed more time. He only found out the day before so that's understandable. He wasn't going to forgive me just like that. The raven-haired male finished his cigarette and stomped it out on the dirty pavement.
He barely turned around to go back inside when he stopped to look at me.
"You know, Frank when I asked you to try and get along with my sister this was not what I meant."
I nodded slowly, "I know, but, Gerard Iwould never... What happened between Brittany and I wasn't planned at all and Iswear I didn't take advantage of her."
"I didn't think that," he assured me seriously. "I at least know you better than that."
With that he disappeared into the building, leaving me to finish my cigarette alone. When I returned, Gerard was already singing again and I sat down, keeping my eyes on him as I listened to his voice sounding hauntingly beautiful as he sang /Demolition Lovers/. Mikey noticed me come in and turned to look at me questioningly.
"What's up with you and my brother?"
"What are you talking about?" I asked, pretending to be confused.
"You guys are completely ignoring each other for one and the tension between you is unbearable. Don't even try to lie and tell me that it's nothing, because all of us have noticed," Ray was the one to explain.
"I honestly don't know what you're talking about," I lied. "We're both just focusing on the making of the record, that's all."
"Oh, bullshit," Matt piped in. "You guys have some kind of beef."
"We're being civilized..."
"Civilized is not the same as nice. The two of you aren't being your usual crazy selves," Mikey responded. "And what happened to your face? It looks like someone hit you."
I ducked my head, letting my hair fall forward in an attempt to cover up the bruise on my cheek. Unfortunately there was nothing I could do about my busted lip. At least the swelling has gone down.
"Who did you piss off?" Ray also wanted to know.
"No one, it was an accident."
"Let me guess, you walked into a door?"Mikey said sarcastically.
"No, no, it was definitely a wall," Matt disagreed teasingly, causing everyone but me to laugh.
"Frank and I are fine," Gerard said and everyone turned to see him standing in the doorway between the recording room and the small workstation room we were in.
I don't know what everybody else saw since he kept his facial expression smooth and calm, but I could see in his eyes that what he said did not coincide with what was going on inside his head. However, my best friend has always been very good at keeping his outer appearance serene even when he had some storm or conflict on the inside.
Instead of feeling better that he was covering for me like always I felt a lot worse now than I did before if that was even possible. I really did the lowest thing possible when I slept with his little sister. Maybe if I fessed up about it sooner things would've turned out differently. Unfortunately the one time in life I should've been honest Idecided to lie and keep secrets. Next time I'll definitely know better.
"Really?" Mikey asked skeptically, crossing his arms in front of him as he stared at his brother and I in turn.
"Really, Mikey we're fine. I guess we've just been spending way too much time together and don't have all that much to say to each other," the older Way brother insisted. "Right, Frank?" he said suddenly looking at me.
I was caught completely off guard by his direct question to me and I almost freaked out, but then I realized he wasn't really talking to me, he just needed me to confirm his lie.
"Sure... Of course," I nodded. "That's exactly what it is," I chuckled nervously, putting a hand behind my neck.
Why the hell did I feel so self-conscious right now?
"Now can we go back to recording?" Gerard asked, eyebrows raised expectantly.
"You have to. You don't have forever to make this record," the engineer spoke up and only then did all of us remember that he was also in the room.
Gerard turned and walked back into the recording booth while everyone went back to listening. From the corner of my eye I saw Mikey sitting down next to Ray and I sat stood slightly straighter in an attempt to hear what he was saying.
"They don't have much to say to each other?Yeah, right. They used to spend all their time together which was more than too much and it never seemed to bother them before."
Ray nodded his head, "I know, but there's no point in pushing them to tell us if they clearly don't want to. This is Frank and Gerard we're talking about. If they had an argument they'll sort it out themselves."
Mikey sighed and nodded in agreement,"You're right. I'll drop it. I just can't help being so damn curious though."
At this the puff-head started laughing,"Yeah, Mikey, but that's the way we know and love you."
A soft smile found its place on my lips. Iagreed with all of us loving Mikey. He was such a great kid. I loved all these guys to hell and back. That's why it was such a huge relief to know that Icould stay. Gerard knew how much this band meant to me and he would never be childish enough to punish me by kicking me out of it.
The end of the day came leaving me without a ride yet again. This time for different reasons of course, because even though he was going home, Gerard obviously wasn't going to offer me a ride home. I doubt that I would want to go with him anyway. It would be one hell of a long and awkward ride.
Fortunately I had some guardian angel looking over me, because Amy's white Jeep pulled into a parking spot just as Istepped out of the building.
"I'm glad to see I'm just in time."
"You came all the way here just for me?" I asked surprised.
The blonde smiled brightly at me. "Yeah, Ifigured you might need a ride considering the sour relationship between you and Gerard at the moment."
"You're a star," I grinned, getting in next to her. "Can I ask you a favor?" I asked as she revved the engine and started in the direction of my house. When the female nodded, I continued, "Can we go somewhere other than my house. I know you didn't plan on babying me tonight, but if I go home now I'll just be sitting around all night with no one besides my mother for company. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, but tonight, at the moment, I can't sit at home doing nothing, because I'm going to go out of my mind."
She nodded and turned off of our original route.
"I know just the place."
"Oh yeah?" I wanted to know curiously.
"U-huh," she smiled secretively, keeping her eyes on the road.
My eyes grew wide and a huge grin spread across my face when we arrived at our destination shortly after.
"I figured you might like it," Amy smiled, getting out and locking the car. "You ready to have some fun?"
The arcade was bustling with kids of all ages. The music from the machines filled the air as well as the sound of laughter. You could practically feel the fun in the air if that was possible.
"I challenge you to a game of street fighter," Amy declared, holding up a handful of game tokens.
"I accept," I said definitely, grabbing half of them and leading the way to the nearest machine.
It was an intense game, both of us mashing buttons and jumping up and down in excitement.
"No, no, fuck!" I exclaimed as she kicked my ass yet again. "Shit, I can't believe you beat me."
"Yeah, well you kind of suck at arcade games," she noted.
"I do not! You just clearly have nothing else to do in your free time."
"Come on, Loser. Maybe you'll be better at racing," she laughed, pushing her way through a group of teens with me following short on her heels.
"What???" Kasey screeched in shock."Frank saw you kissing Tray?"
"They came home earlier. Tray left the same time he always did and that just happened to be the same time they came home yesterday."
"And that's what you're focusing on, the fact that they came home from the studio early? What about Frank freaking out and pretty much dumping your lying, cheating ass?" the girl asked bluntly knowing that her straight forward question wouldn't even bother me, because Iwas used to it and I simply didn't care.
"He overreacted and besides, he couldn't dump me even if he wanted to, because we were never together."
"That's not the point, Brittany. Frank obviously cared about you otherwise he wouldn't have been so upset when he found out that you had a boyfriend," Kasey tried to reason, sitting up straighter in the desk chair.
"Frank was just sour, because he thought that I used him," I stated, turning my head and staring up at the ceiling where I lay sprawled out on my bed.
Kasey frowned in confusion before getting up and walking over to the bed and moving her head into my view, forcing me to look at her.
"Why would that upset him if that was supposedly what the two of you were doing, you know using each other for sex?"
"I don't know," I huffed, pushing her away."Maybe he had PMS and was a little cranky."
I know I was being a bitch, but the only reason I told Kasey about everything was because she was my best friend and she was bound to find out about it eventually. The girl always had a way of simply knowing my deepest darkest secrets. I guess nothing I did shocked her anymore. I wasn't really in the mood to talk about it though, because honestly I was also upset by what happened. Frank 'dumped' me and then my brother beat him up. That's not cool.
Frank wasn't supposed to find out about Tray, ever. Sure I liked Tray, otherwise he wouldn't have been my boyfriend, obviously, but truth be told he ended up being my distraction whenever Frank was too busy with the record and couldn't keep me entertained. It was probably wrong to keep them both around, but I was selfish like that. I always needed to have it all. Now all I had was Tray and even though I haven't seen him either since yesterday, I couldn't help already feeling over it. Tray wasn't what Iwanted, wasn't who I wanted.
"Brittany!" Kasey chided. "You're really being stupid and childish about all of this." She sighed before continuing. "What about Gerard finding out about the two of you?"
I shrugged uncaringly, "I don't know. Ihaven't seen or spoken to him since the whole incident."
There was a silence during which we could hear sounds coming from the kitchen where my mother was starting on dinner and then there was the sound of a car pulling into the driveway.
"You know, it's terrible that I'm not even surprised that you seem unbothered by all of this." Kasey said, heading for the door, ready to go home since it was already after six. "You have no conscience, woman."
I chuckled at her statement, coming to my feet and following Kasey.
"I'm not completely heartless, you know?" I said as we stepped out of my room and started down the hallway. "I do feel bad that my brother punched him. I did not see that coming...and neither did Frank,"she giggled. "I totally would've nursed him if he gave me a second's chance."
We both giggled, but bit the sound back as we rounded the corner only to be met by Gerard's stern face. No one said anything and the silence seemed to drag on forever when in truth it was only afew seconds.
"Yeah, I got to go, but I'll see you tomorrow," Kasey stuttered nervously, practically running to the door.
"Uhm, yeah," I nodded with a straight face."I'll see you at school."
I turned back to my brother, but he stepped around me and started in the direction of his own bedroom.
"Gee!" I called after him.
The raven-haired male made a waving gesture with one of his hands, "I don't want to hear it, Brittany."
I pursed my lips together. People knew and accepted me for the selfish person I was and nobody questioned anything I did anymore. Maybe that wasn't the best thing or the greatest way to be known, but again, I didn't really care. I agreed with my brother, be yourself. Then there were those certain few people who didn't eat up all my crap or give me whatever the hell I wanted. Those people were Kasey, Frank and Gerard. My parents knew about me being a spoiled brat, but they had no idea about my bad side which was good otherwise they probably would've grounded me for life and I've never been grounded. Kasey was always straight forward and told me exactly what she thought about everything I did and a lot of times she tried to dissuade me from my crazy and mean ideas. However, usually she gave up and just went along with it so in truth she also let me have my way. Frank didn't give a shit about what I wanted. Ironically, he was probably one of the people that knew me better than anyone, because I never felt the need to impress him and he saw the real me. He knew the bad me and lately he's gotten to know the good side of my personality as well. Frank didn't let me have my way out of spite or maybe it was because he was the one person who didn't want me to always get everything that I wanted. Finally, there was Gerard. Gerard knew me like the back of his hand and of all the people in my life, he was the one person I never wanted to disappoint. I also never beat around the bush when it came to him. I couldn't fool him anyway as yesterday's little encounter proved. Unfortunately he seemed to be upset with me and I hated that. I hated feeling like I let him down in some way. I needed to fix the situation somehow.
"Gerard," I called out again before following him into his room.
"What do you want, Brittany? I'm not in the mood."
"I know and that's the problem. You're mad at me."
"Yes, I'm mad at you!" he practically shouted, making me jump. "Do you blame me? What you did was..." He stopped talking and shook his head in clear disappointment.
I was about to retaliate and tell him that he had nothing to be mad about. I didn't do anything to him and how I planned to spend my time was up to me. However, now that I provoked the snake it was going to bite me in the ass.
"You lied! You lied to me, to Mikey; you lied to Frank and Tray. I mean what were you thinking?" he demanded angrily, eyes boring into mine.
I didn't know what to say. My brother has never been this mad at me before.
"I never thought you would sink so low as to cheat on your boyfriend. For crying out loud, Brittany! You couldn't do it with anyone else, but you had to use my best friend?" he yelled, throwing his hands up in aggravation. "That's low even for you and do you know what the irony is? I knew this was going to happen."
I looked at him in shock, because I didn't expect that last sentence.
"I knew that the second you and Frank gave each other half a chance, you would actually like each other, though I didn't expect you to just jump in bed together. I thought better of both of you."
I decided to keep my mouth shut throughout his entire rant, because if I said anything it would probably be something stupid and I'll only end up making things worse than they already were.
"I'll be honest with you, Brit, I'm not half as angry at Frank as I am at you," the male with the raven colored hair spoke more quietly. "No, I wasn't na-ive enough to think that you were some sweet little girl, but I didn't expect you to sleep with just any guy..."
"But it wasn't just any guy," I retorted alittle irked. "It was Frank."
"Exactly!" he snapped. "He's my best friend and you hurt him." Gerard sighed deeply, "What are you going to do about Tray?"
His question caught me off guard and Ididn't know how to respond immediately.
"Uhm, I'm not sure. Things between me and Frank are over and done with so I guess he doesn't have to know. Things can go back to normal now."
"You know what, Brittany? Just go," he murmured turning his back on me. "I've had a really long day."
"Just go!" he said loudly. "Talk to me once you've decided to grow up."
That last part hurt, but mostly because Iknew he was right. I was still a child and that's why I was handling everything like a little kid. Maybe it was time to grow up. I quietly turned around and left his room, shutting the door behind me. Gerard had every reason in the world to be mad at me. It was hard, but I guess I deserved all his anger. Icouldn't even be mad at him for once again placing Frank's interests ahead of mine, because even Kasey pointed out that I hurt the guitarist. Was I really abad person for wanting what I wanted? I wasn't going to dwell on it all night. Tomorrow was another day and I'll figure out what to do then.
I returned to my room and fell down on the bed with a deep sigh. If I knew that things were going to end up like this I most likely would've done things differently. Maybe I would've left Tray the second Frank and I started sleeping together or maybe the thing between us never would've started in the first place. Now I was alone, but that could change if I talked to Frank.
With that thought in mind, I grabbed my phone and dialed his number. The phone rang and rang and rang and finally I reached his voicemail box. Of course he wasn't going to answer. I couldn't really blame him. I tried calling again, but yet again I only heard the voicemail message which was really frustrating, but I was the one who was wrong and Frank was going to listen to me one way or another.
"Frank, it's me. I know you're mad and you're perfectly right, I was wrong. I should've told you and I shouldn't have let things get to this point. I'm sorry."
I sighed deeply wanting to say more, but not exactly sure what.
"I'm sorry. Please don't be mad. I really need to talk to you."
I hung up after those words. Now all I needed to do was wait. If he got the message, he'll call back. If only we could talk, we could sort things out. I just thought this when the phone started ringing frantically next to me. It didn't take a second to grab the ringing object, press answer and put the phone to my ear.
There was a short silence on the other end before a familiar voice reached my ears and my heart dropped.
"Uhm, no, at least not the last time I checked," Kasey giggled. "Why would Frank be calling you anyway? Isn't he still pissed off at you?"
I sighed loudly as if the world was resting on my shoulders.
"Yes! That's me. You know you can sound a little happier to hear from me," she told me sounding a little miffed at my response.
"You're such a bitch, but you'll never change and I've come to accept that fact," she spoke, knowing full well that her unnecessary chattering was only annoying me more. She was just as much of a bitch as I was sometimes. Fighting fire with fire I guess. "I called to see if you were still alive, because your brother did not look too happy earlier and I was worried that my dear and sensitive friend would die if he said one harsh word, but Ihear that you're still you so I guess you're fine. I'll leave you alone now."
"Thank you, friend!" I yelled sarcastically into the phone right before she hung up.
I stared at my phone after that, silently begging for it to ring, begging for Frank's name to flash across the screen. Hours later, I was still staring at the small device, but it became more and more obvious that he didn't plan on calling me back and my eyes drooped shut.
Okay, hopefully it doesn't get cut off again. Sorry for that, it was the site that cut off the end. If you're reading this though, all's fine J
Just an after note, Penina and Poppana, I love you both to bits! You guys had me laughing so loudly with your little conversation and all your theories. It's epic! And everyone who already left a comment on this chapter, thank you very much! I appreciate it!