(#) LilithBoadicea 2005-06-06The quote from Douglas Adams was the funniest part. This fic was mildly amusing but didn't actually make me laugh. Perhaps some essays on comedic timing might help? I also recommend a bit of research on the rules of punctuation for dialogue, as you have a few errors there. It's a common problem and easily corrected.
Good luck with the next installment!
Author's response:D Yea, I love that quote. Thanks a lot for the review. I think my main problem with this fic was that I kind of forced after a while, like I said I've been writing it for a long time. And also thanks for the heads up on the bad grammer, I realize now that I forgot to proof-read this one before I posted, so I'm glad you told me.
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