when the boyfriends away what can i say
It's another sleepless night full of running and endless nightmares but I'm out of bed ready for the day as soon as Gerard stirs and pulls me back in. I whine a bit only to be quieted by his long hard kiss, "Good morning Frankie. Want a shower?"
"No. It's okay." I anwer slowly starting to tence up, "I'm clean enough I need to go home and do homework."
He glares at me with dark eyes, "It's always another excuse for you isn't it Frankie?" his eyes don't move off of my body making me feel more and more uncomfortable, "Well, are you going to speak?!"
I nod quickly, "Yes... I- I'm sorry Gee. I can shower... it would be nice for us right?"
He takes my wrist and pulls me into the bathroom keeping me close to his chest. I learn to like the almost constant closness but if it were anyone else I would say no. Gerard starts to rub my back with the soap moving lower and lower starting to wash me everywhere.
When I try to squirm from the touch of him over any sensitive area he smacks me in the back of the head, "Stay still whore!" I whimper trying to cry but he smacks me again, "I said don't fucking move! You're really pissing me off lately Frank!" He shoves me out of the bath tub making me fall to my knees, "You're clean whore! next time don't move. Now get some clothes I don't want to see your discusting body today!"
As Gerard goes up the stairs I quickly get dressed and sit on the bed to wait for him to return. My stomach begins to ache as the time passes by. I chew on the inside of my cheek waiting for the pain to go away. This time nothing seems to work. Nothing ever works anymore not until Gerard comes back.
When I hear the door to the basement close I tence and look at the stairs waiting for Gerard or maybe even Kelsey if I'm lucky but to my surprise it's Kelsey and Gerard's mom, "Good morning sweety. Gerard said you were still in bed. he was called into work. Would you like some breakfast?"
I should know better... I do know better. The answer should be no but I'm so hungry. I can't go home feeling this sick so I do what I must dispite the future consiquences, "Yes please... I'm really hungry." I reply in a low voice.
She gives me a smile, "Well come on then. I'm sure my husbend will want a talk with you." I don't like the sound of that but I follow her anyway trying to stay possitive, "How long do you want to stay today Frank?"
Surprised at the question I quickly answer, "Um I can leave after dinner... I have home work and things to take care of too." we get up stairs and she pulls out a chair across from her husbend for me to sit in.
She makes me a plate of waffles and as soon as I take the first bite the question and answer time began. With Gerard leaving me here all the time on weekends his fathers the only one who ever wonders about it other than Kelsey who's always worried. The questions go on until I finish the plate. I must lie about somethings and hope he doesn't notice but I know I'm not a good lair.
When my plate is cleared and the questions are over he leads me to the door without a word being said. My stomach is aching waiting for me to throw up. That's the only thinkg I can think about while walking home not looking back knowing his big brown eyes are watching me.