FicWad

Frank and Gerard had been together for three years and married for one when Frank came home from a long, stressful day at work to see his husband sitting on their couch, unmoving, and staring at the wall.

“Gerard, baby?” Frank asked worriedly from the door, loosening and taking off his tie with one hand and shimming out of his jacket. As soon as he spoke, Gerard seemed to snap out of his trance.

“Hey, Frankie,” He said, smiling weakly. Frank frowned and rushed toward him.

“Are you okay?” He asked, feeling Gerard’s forehead for a fever. He looked pretty pale and his mouth looked swollen from where he had been chewing it, a pool of blood swelling up on the right corner of his lower lip. Gerard laughed softly.

“I’m fine, Frankie,” He smiled, caressing Frank’s face and kissing him gently, leaning up to wrap his arms around Frank’s neck, “I missed you today.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Frank apologised, “It was kind of crazy today. We signed this new band and - well, I can tell you that later. What’s wrong? You don’t look okay.”

Gerard patted the space beside him on the soft navy couch, “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“That sounds a bit ominous,” Frank chuckled nervously. Gerard shifted uncomfortably on the couch before closing his eyes briefly and facing Frank, putting his hands in Frank’s lap.

“It’s nothing bad. Well, I hope it isn’t,” Gerard said, smiling bravely up at Frank. Frank frowned again when Gerard didn’t say anything else and cupped Gerard’s cheek.

“Gee?”

“Sorry, this is just - well, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and today my editor came round with Daniel, his newborn son and I-” Gerard said shakily and broke off to make eye contact with Frank, “I told you, when we first got together that I was able to have children and I - I want a baby, Frank.”

Gerard’s eyes were shining brightly and he continued when Frank didn’t say anything, “I mean, we’re finically secure enough. You have the record company and I have my comics and I don’t even have to apply for leave, I can just write when I can and, I mean, I’m not getting any younger -”

Frank cut off his rambling with a soft kiss, his hand sliding down to Gerard’s neck. He broke off the kiss to look Gerard in the eye.

“I want that too. You know I’d do anything to make you happy,” Frank murmured, rubbing Gerard’s neck. Gerard, however, didn’t seem soothed by Frank’s words.

“You wouldn’t do it just for me, though, would you? I don’t want you to do this just because you feel like it would make me happy. I want you to want to have a child too,” Gerard fretted, clutching at Frank’s hand that was still in his lap. Frank rolled his eyes and sighed, smiling at Gerard.

“Listen to me. I want a child with you. I want to wake up in the middle of the night, even on weekdays when I’m running on two hours sleep, to feed him or her. I want to take our child to the park and help them read and paint our spare room ridiculous colours with you. I love you. And I’ll love our child, girl or boy, with you,” Frank replied, leaning over to kiss the shell of Gerard’s ear and placing his hand on Gerard’s stomach. Gerard smiled and blinked back tears.

“I love you,” He whispered in a choked voice.

“I love you too,” Frank murmured, before pushing onto his back on the couch suddenly, Gerard’s legs splaying in the air. Gerard laughed loudly and freely, his eyes blown.

“I guess we better get started then - this baby won’t make itself,” Frank exclaimed, going straight for Gerard’s neck. Gerard shrieked and tilted his neck back to encourage Frank to bite him. Frank licked a stripe up his neck before finally sinking his teeth into Gerard, leaving a mark that would last for at least a few days. They kissed frantically and Frank pulled Gerard’s old t shirt up and over his head, letting his hands wander up and down Gerard’s body, and soon they were both naked, lying on the couch.

“Don’t forget a con-” Gerard broke off, realising what he had just said.

“We don’t need a condom,” Frank murmured, kissing up and down Gerard’s body, “Unless you’ve forgotten, we’re making a baby now.”

Gerard gulped and stared up at Frank, blinking rapidly, “We’re doing this.”

“Yeah we are,” Frank said, grabbing hold of Gerard’s thigh and hoisting it up around his waist.

*

Gerard sat in the bathroom after Frank had gone to work the day after they had had sex without a condom for the first time in their relationship on the couch. He closed his eyes and prayed, but he knew that he wasn’t fully fertile while they had had sex and that it was never usually this easy. It could be weeks or months before he finally conceived. He wasn’t surprised to see that the pregnancy test was negative. He felt a little deflated, but then felt annoyed. He knew that it probably wasn’t going to work. And he knew that he needed to be more resilient, because it was going to take a fucking load of negatives before a positive. He sighed resignedly and left the bathroom. He picked up his mobile from the kitchen counter and speed-dialled Frank.

“Frankie?” Gerard asked, flicking through a pizza catalogue in order to distract himself from sounding upset on the phone.

“Hey, baby. Sorry I left before you woke,” Frank said. There was a tense silence as Gerard anticipated his question. He didn’t want to initiate it.

“So...did you take the test?” Frank asked reluctantly, knowing what the answer would be. Gerard would have been shouting down the phone if he was pregnant.

“Yeah. It was negative,” Gerard trailed off, “I was expecting it, of course, but I - there was still this part of me.”

“It’s fine,” Frank soothed, “I don’t care how long it takes - we are going to knock you up and have you with child even if it kills me. I don’t have any meetings planned for the afternoon so I think I can take a long lunch and we can have another try.”

“That would be good,” Gerard laughed, twirling a finger in his messy black hair. He smiled to himself, “I’ll see you later then?”

“Yeah, I’ll text you when I leave the office. I love you,” Frank said, making a ridiculous kissing noise down the phone. Gerard laughed.

“I love you too,” Gerard replied, hanging up and leaning against the kitchen counter. Frank was right. It didn’t matter how long it took, all that mattered was that at some point, he would have a baby. He unconsciously wrapped an arm around his stomach. By tomorrow his child could be there, inside him. He closed his eyes and exhaled. Soon. Soon.