They hadn’t told anyone that they were trying yet - while around a quarter of the male population were able to carry children, their pregnancies were often fraught with complications, and even if they were heterosexual, women tended to carry the children as their pregnancies were, on the whole, far less complicated.
Growing up, Frank never actually wanted children and was declared officially not able to carry a child when he was ten by his doctor. He’d had lots of younger cousins when he was a child who were irritating and broke all his stuff, so when he realised that he was gay he had been relieved, because the chances of meeting another man who was fertile were relatively low. He would never have to worry about unwanted pregnancies or anything like that. He’d spent the majority of his life messing around with boys who didn’t mean that much to him. But then he met Gerard, and everything changed. Gerard was sweet and quiet and adorable, and kind of not Frank’s type. But he was dorky and weird and perfect, and Frank’s heart hadn’t even sunk when Gerard told him that he was fertile. Sure, they had to worry about condoms, but it was a small price to pay for having Gerard.
Gerard had never particularly wanted a child when he was younger. Sure, he loved Mikey, but he used to think that babies never did much. Mikey used to just sit around and drool for a good few years before Gerard could actually play with him. He didn’t really know what it meant when his doctor told him that he would be able to carry children, but his Mom looked overjoyed at the prospect. He later learnt that it was really fucking irritating, as he always had to remember to use a condom and constantly had to worry about rips and unwanted pregnancies. He’d never realised that he wanted a child until he met Frank.
Frank and Gerard went about their usual daily activities, with Frank working bizarre hours at his record company and Gerard inking out scenes for his comics, but now there were a stash of pregnancy tests in the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom, and there was a calendar on the kitchen wall, with the dates in each month where Gerard was most fertile circled.
Gerard was sitting in his studio on Thursday, shaking his leg in anticipation for Frank to come back. They had been trying for two weeks, and today Gerard was at his most fertile. Usually when Gerard was most fertile, he would have a heightened sex drive and unpredictable mood swings, but right now he felt sick. He wanted his child so much, and he was never a very patient person. He had made an appointment with his doctor yesterday, who had given him all the usual advice about conceiving (don’t wear a condom, do it regularly) and had check to make sure he was fully fertile, which he was.
“Gee, I’m home,” Frank called as the door slammed. Gerard instantly jumped off his chair and ran to the door, kissing Frank hard.
“I need you to get your clothes off and fuck me,” Gerard said breathlessly, “Now.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever had this much sex before in my life,” Frank muttered, throwing off his tie and, with some effort, scooping Gerard up into his arms in a bridal style, “I am going to put a baby inside of you even if it kills me, Gerard Way.”
Gerard lay flat on his back on their bed, letting his heart hammer in his chest. God, he felt pregnant after that. It was still weird, having sex without a condom, but so much better. He could feel Frank in ways he couldn’t even imagine before, and when Frank came inside him he felt owned by him. It was a level of intimacy that condoms couldn’t compare to.
He felt Frank kiss at his neck and he turned over so that he was face to face with him.
“Gee, as much as I want this baby, I think we should go and have dinner now and watch some shitty TV, because I haven’t spent time with you in a while, just doing stuff. This may be our last chance, anyway,” Frank said, stroking Gerard’s cheek. He sighed.
“Yeah. Ugh, I just wish this baby would hurry up,” He groaned, letting Frank drag him out of bed.
“I’ll go heat up some pasta and you put some pyjamas on and find something for us to watch,” Frank murmured, kissing Gerard once more before leaving the bedroom, only shoving on a pair of pyjama pants on the way out. Gerard stood in their room just touching his stomach for a few moments before he finally got dressed and traipsed into the living room.
He slumped on the sofa and flicked through the channels while he heard pots and pans clattering in the kitchen.
“Gerard, where do we actually keep the pasta?” Frank called from the kitchen. Gerard grinned and got up.
“Don’t worry,” He shouted back. Gerard did most of the cooking as he was home most days, and Frank had a frightening tendency to make anything he touched turn into inedible.
“It’s up here,” Gerard informed Frank, reaching for the cupboard above the oven. He retrieved the large glass container containing pasta and poured two bowl’s worth into a pan, which Frank had managed to fill up with water.
“Why don’t you go and find us something to watch and I’ll finish up here,” Gerard told Frank, searching for another pan for the sauce.
“You’re amazing,” Frank said, squeezing his side before drifting off into the living room.
As Gerard cooked, he couldn’t help but think what the kitchen would look like when they had a child. What kind of baby food would they need to buy? What if their child was allergic to something and they didn’t realise? Gerard shook his head to get rid of his thoughts. It would be fine, he was sure. He turned the gas off and drained the pasta, rummaging around in another cupboard for bowls. They would really have to clean up their apartment before he had the child. Or they could move t somewhere with a real garden, somewhere just out of the city. Suddenly Gerard’s mind was filled of images of swingsets and a dog and a garden with a river running through it. God, his hormones were driving him crazy.
He took another test on Saturday afternoon when Frank was off work. He refused to let Frank into the bathroom, because he was effectively pissing on a stick, even if it was the miracle of birth. He waited with Frank for the two minutes, watching it develop, but it was negative, again.
“These things just take time,” Frank said, kissing him and taking the pregnancy test out of his hands.
“Maybe there is something wrong with me?” Gerard moaned, throwing his hand over his eyes.
“Baby, we’ve only been trying for two weeks. For some people it can take months, or even years,” Frank said gently, cupping his cheek.
“Sorry,” Gerard muttered, wiping his eyes.
“Hey, hey,” Frank murmured, wiping the eyes out of Gerard’s eyes with his thumb, “It may take a while, but it will happen. We just have to be patient, that’s all.”
Gerard smiled up at him tearily, “Thanks, Frankie.”
“No need to thank me,” Frank said, “Though maybe we shouldn’t do the tests every time we have sex - what if we do them once or twice a week?”
“Yeah,” Gerard agreed, “It would probably be better to get one negative a week than 7.”
“It will happen,” Frank said determinedly, “It will. Don't worry.”
Frank had been called into work on Sunday because of one band’s contract expiring in the next week, so Gerard was left by himself to rattle around the apartment. He didn’t feel like inking comics, or watching TV, or reading a book, but he knew that if he sat down and did nothing, his mind would turn to the baby.
In the end, he decided to take another test, without telling Frank with whom he’d agreed to only take one a week, and if it was negative again, he would stop thinking about the whole thing and go and see his brother. He sat on the bathroom floor, holding the stick. He knew, deep down in his heart, that it would be negative. They hadn’t had sex since Thursday and nothing would have changed since then, but he just wanted to be sure.
He felt like he was going to be sick, waiting for two minutes. He felt like that every time they took one of the tests. It could be the start of a living, breathing, thing in his stomach.
When the two minutes were up, he couldn’t bring himself to look at the test. It was a stupid idea, and he would only get upset with the result again. He took a deep breath and turned it over, bracing himself for a negative, but frowned when he saw it.
That’s funny, he thought. A plus.
Then he froze.
A plus. Positive.
He immediately yanked the cabinet door open and grabbed the remaining tests, though there were only five left.
He took another one.
He was shaking now and stood up shakily. He needed more tests.
He grabbed his wallet and keys from the table in the hall and slammed his apartment door shut as he stepped outside. He didn’t bother saying hello to the woman who lived next to them, he just ran until he reached the chemist, throwing open the door and heading straight to the pregnancy isle. He grabbed another eight different tests and took them to the till, throwing his money down frantically.
“Good or bad?” The woman behind the counter asked him.
“Good, I think,” Gerard muttered. He still couldn’t quite believe what was happening.
“Congratulations,” She said warmly, handing Gerard the tests in a bag. Gerard grabbed them and walked back to their apartment, slower this time. This could be it. He wanted a few more tests to check, but surely six tests couldn’t be wrong?
He drank three large glasses of water as soon as he got home and waited for a few moments before he felt able to take the tests again.
He sat down with six tests in his hands and pressed his head to his heads, shaking. He would be destroyed if these ones were negative, because what if the ones they had originally bought were faulty? What if they’d kept them for too long and they’d expired?
Gerard watched with shaking hands as every single sign on the tests turned to positive. He threw them down and sobbed into his knees. He was pregnant. He was pregnant.
After a few minutes of crying, he grabbed the toilet to help him stand up and went to get his phone from their bedroom. He sat on their bed and dialed Frank’s number, still sobbing and shaking.
“Gerard, can you call me back? I’m in a meeting right now,” Frank whispered down the phone. Gerard just sat there, breathing.
“Frank,” He said shakily.
“What’s wrong?” Frank asked instantly, “Wait, just let me - sorry, I just need to take this call, sorry, thanks.”
Gerard held the phone in a vice grip, tears still streaming down his cheeks.
“Gerard, I’m out now - what’s wrong? What happened?” Frank said urgently.
“Frankie,” Gerard hiccuped, “I took a test and - and -” He broke off. Frank exhaled down the phone.
“Gerard?” He breathed.
“I took eleven and - I’m pregnant, Frankie. I’m pregnant,” He broke into fresh sobs and heard Frank’s voice crack down the line.
“Oh my God, Gerard. Oh my God, we’re going to be parents - oh - I’m going to leave work as soon as I can - fuck,” Frank swore. Gerard laughed and choked. There was a child, living and growing inside of him.
“I think I’m going to go and see Mikey, so don’t worry,” Gerard choked, still overjoyed.
“Be careful when you drive there,” Frank said anxiously. Gerard laughed again.
“I’ll be fine - but we’re going to have a baby, Frank,” Gerard whispered, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Gerard. Brother, husband, carrier of our first born child,” Frank joked down the phone. They were silent for a bit.
“I better go back inside, but I’ll see you soon and you can tell me everything then,” Frank sighed.
“Yeah, I need to phone Mikey now. See you soon,” Gerard echoed, hanging up and lying down on their bed. Pregnant. He was pregnant. He gently placed a hand on his stomach, even though he knew wouldn’t be able to feel anything there, he knew that there was a child, half his, half Frank’s, growing inside him.