The Dark Can Hide Your Deepest Fears, Sometimes The Light It Can Unmask Them...
“What?” Gerard groaned in annoyance, slowly sitting up on his bed. He rubbed his eyes, and looked over at Frank’s faint silhouette in the dark. “I do not appreciate being woke up at this time” He hissed.
“Turn the lights on?” Frank whispered innocently, blinking away the newly formed tears in his eyes. He loosened his grip on the pillow, placing it down in front of him.
“Ugh…” Gerard groaned, pushing himself up to his feet and stumbling across the room. He turned the light on then glared back at Frank.
“Sorry…” Frank whispered, avoiding eye contact with Gerard.
“You should be” Gerard muttered and gritted his teeth. He slowly walked towards Frank’s bed, brushing his greasy black hair back from his face. Frank quickly shifted his vision up to Gerard, looking slightly scared.
“I am, I really am…” Frank whispered, staring up at Gerard. He slowly reached for his pillow, hugging it closely to his chest once again.
“Don’t stare at me, I don’t like it…” Gerard hissed, suddenly stopping at the foot of Frank’s bed. He pursed his lips, glaring at Frank until he finally turned his head away. “Do I make you nervous Frank?” Gerard said menacingly, slowly crawling up the end of the bed.
“N-n-no?” Frank slowly buried his face in the pillow, hiding the fear on his face from Gerard. He was scared, terrified even of Gerard and his new surroundings but he didn’t want him to know that. Gerard violently tore the pillow away from Frank’s face, tossing it the floor. He slowly crawled up the end of Frank’s bed, his vision locked on Frank.
“You should be scared...” Gerard mumbled, with a sly smirk upon his face. He moved Franks hands away from his face also, holding them by his sides.
“Don’t hurt me” Frank squealed, closing his eyes tightly. Frank had always been a little bit of a woos and had never really been good at defending himself.
Gerard loosened his grip slightly on Frank’s wrists, his eyes locked on the corner of the room. “Leave me alone, you are dead. Leave me alone…” Gerard mumbled quietly a single tear running down his slightly flushed cheeks. He let go of Frank’s wrists and slowly pushed himself to his feet. He shuffled his feet, wandering towards the corner his eyes were locked upon. “I… I killed you… You should be dead…” He continued to mutter to himself.
“Gerard?” Frank whispered, looking towards the corner where Gerard was walking to.
“Mikey, please just… No. You are dead now leave me alone.” Gerard brought his hands to his head covering his ears, streams of tears running down his face.
“Gerard?” Frank whispered again, he rubbed his eyes and looked around the room seeing no-one but himself and Gerard.
“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up… I… No. None of you ever cared, I’m sorry but you deser…” Gerard suddenly paused mid-sentence dropping to his knees in floods of tears, his hands pressing hard against his ears. He was clearly trying his best to block something out, but what Frank wondered. Frank slowly approached Gerard from behind, kneeling down behind him. He carefully wrapped his arms around him, trying to sooth him. “No!” Gerard screamed, knocking Frank flying backwards. He moved to the corner of the room, covering his eyes with his hands. “Just go away.. Please?!”
Extract From Gerard’s Diary
I can be your worst nightmare. I can be the bearer of your death, I hold this knife to your murder. I will stand and watch as you die, the blood runs from the deep stab mark in your stomach. I will laugh, as you die; as you laughed at me.
I’m the fag, the monster, the freak, the worthless boy, the dude ‘with a screw loose’. You’ll regret those words, family or not… I hAvE pLaNs. FOR YOU ALLL..
“Gerard…?” A nurse said softly, kneeling in front of him. She gently took his hands away from his face, brushing his hair back off his face.
“Don’t… tell them, I’m sorry and that they should leave me alone” Gerard looked up at the nurse, his eyes wet with tears.
“I’ll tell them” She nodded. “Now take this, it’ll make it better…” She forced a smile, holding a small capsule between her thumb and index finger.
“No it won’t, you always lie to me…” He gritted his teeth, looking down at the small pill the nurse was holding. He looked back up at her, he was slightly angry now. Angry with himself, and the fact that he thought people where still lying to him.
“You have to take it, and I am not lying” She smiled, moving the pill towards Gerard’s lips. He watched her hand carefully, narrowing his eyes.
“No…” He smacked the nurse’s hand away, hard, pushing her back out of the way. He raised his hand to the air, slapping her hard across the face. “Get me out…” He shouted, quickly arising to his feet and running towards the door.
Frank sat up on the end of his bed, watching Gerard carefully. Frank quickly looked at the nurse who was walking out of the room cupping her cheek with her left hand. She quickly locked the door behind her, and walked up the hall.
“Gerard” Frank shouted.
“What?” Gerard quickly turned around glaring back at Frank.
“Come here, w-w-we can talk?” Frank stuttered slightly, a tiny smile stretched across his face. He wanted to help Gerard but Gerard didn’t seem like the sort to just ‘talk’.
“Talk?” Gerard screamed as he practically pounded on Frank. He grabbed his arms tight, pinning them to his bed. Gerard’s body pressing hard against Frank’s small petite frame.
“Y-y-yes. I… I’m willing to listen to you, n-not force you to take anything. J-just talk…”Frank stuttered trying to wriggle free from under Gerard. Frank really hated to be restricted, it brought back memories. Memories he wanted to forget, but there was always something that would bring them back.
Gerard narrowed eyes slightly, trying to figure out Frank’s motives. “Fine…” Gerard sighed, slowly moving off Frank and sitting beside him. He held his hand out to Frank, which Frank took reluctantly. He gently pulled Frank up and looked at him; forcing a tiny smile. “Soo…” Gerard mumbled, looking down at his hands.
“So? Where do you wanna start” Frank mumbled softly, placing one of his hands on top of Gerard’s.
“I killed them… My brother and father.” Gerard laughed slightly, biting his lip bottom lip softly. Frank caught himself staring at Gerard’s lips, those perfect pink plump lips just begging to be kissed. Frank quickly looked up and away from his lips, his gaze catching those two pools of hazel inset on his face.
“And?” Frank said.
“And what? Now Mikey he won’t leave me alone. They deserved it, but they won’t leave me alone. Every second of the day they are there in my head, talking to me.” He rambled. “I don’t like it” Gerard growled through gritted teeth, looking up into Frank’s eyes.
Frank frowned slightly, looking back into Gerard’s eyes. For a single second, it was like a single spark of electricity was being passed between them when their eyes met. They held there gaze for a few seconds before Gerard quickly turned his head away, looking towards the corner where he saw Mikey prior. “I’m tired, I think…” Gerard whispered shyly. This was the first time since the moment they met that Gerard actually seemed shy and sort of sensitive.
“Go to bed then?” Frank whispered, watching Gerard carefully. Gerard nodded quickly in agreement, wandering back over to his side of the bedroom. He knelt down by his bed, reaching for something underneath. He quickly pulled out a note-pad and red biro, hiding it under his covers; hoping Frank didn’t see. Gerard quickly hoped onto his bed, pulling the covers over his head. He quickly flipped through his notepad, tracing his fingers over some of the drawings he had drawn over the years. Every single drawing in Gerard’s note-pad was related to death in some way, he liked the aspect of death it fascinated him.
He turned over to a clean page in his notepad. The bright light dimly shone through the lightly coloured covers of his bed, just enough to see the notepad enough to draw. He picked up his pen and began to sketch the outline of Frank’s face, capturing his face shape perfectly. He quickly began to sketch in Frank’s features; capturing that tiny bit of light that other people couldn’t see behind Frank’s eyes. Gerard was very good at drawing from memory.
Frank was still sat in the same spot that Gerard had left him, his fingers tracing the scars on his wrists. He felt lonely again now Gerard had ‘left him’. He slowly stood up, wandering to the door of the room. He pressed his face against the glass inset in the door, peering out into the dark corridor outside of his room. This place seemed lonely especially at night. Frank was looking forward to later that day so he could escape the room and maybe even be allowed to interact with the other patients in the hospital. He did have the chance to interact with Gerard, but Gerard scared him he had two personalities and could flip at the flick of a switch. Frank knew that was something to do with his condition but he still scared him. Frank continued to stare out of the door at the emptiness outside his room, his mind was in deep thought…