Everyone wakes up to face past and present mistakes.
-You always thought that I was stronger. I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start.-
“Frank?” My voice sounded small.
It wasn’t fair. I wanted to wake up feeling like sunshine but the minute my eyes opened and the sore ache of my body reached my brain the truth flashed in front of me brightly.
He was drunk.
He was drunk and you didn’t mean anything.
I rolled over, tears building behind my eyes as I found the spot next to me vacant. I could still feel Frank‘s warmth, and I knew it wasn’t a dream.
It was more like a nightmare, but it had really happened.
The bliss didn’t last long enough, and the morning after was a lot like getting shot in the face.
“I think we need to talk.” Frank’s voice startled me, but also evoked feelings in me that I couldn’t really understand.
“You’re still here.” He was sitting in the corner of the room on the floor, much like a child in time out. The only difference was the direction he was facing. He was watching me, almost apprehensively.
But at least he was still here.
“I’m not the fuck and leave type.” Frank muttered, running his fingers through his messed up hair. It was the sexiest I’d ever seen him. That was probably because he’d just fucked me though.
“Yeah, you are.” I muttered, yawning.
“Okay, so I am.” Frank agreed. “But not when it comes to you.” That sent a deep tingling sensation through my body.
“Oh?” I tried not to sound too happy about it.
“I’ve never…” Frank trailed off, as the skin upon his face darkened. Oh, and his chest too. Now that was sexy.
I couldn’t help but notice he was still naked.
I was too sore for seconds, and much too sober but… that didn’t mean I couldn’t stare, and drool a little.
Yeah, I was most definitely gay.
“I’ve never had sex with a guy before.” Frank forced out.
“/Oh/.” I wasn’t sure where he was going with this but I prepared myself for the big letdown.
“But I’ve never enjoyed sex so much before either.” Frank breathed out, gazing at me with a piercing intensity.
Frank frowned. “Mind saying something else?”
I wanted to tell him I enjoyed it too.
I wanted to beg him to let me touch him, just because he was a fucking sex god and I didn’t want to keep my hands to myself.
I wanted to tell him the entire thing with Taylor was fake, and I was simply buying her services because I thought I couldn’t have him.
I wanted to tell him the truth.
It wasn’t really just my truth to tell though. I would have to talk to Taylor first… and I’d asked her to marry me.
Things were more complicated than they’d been at the beginning.
“I’m with Taylor.” I was screaming inside, begging myself to take the words back. I was begging God to make those words disappear from Frank’s mind.
Frank frowned and looked away. “Oh… of course. We were both just- just really drunk, and yeah, let’s just not talk about this again, okay?” Not okay.
Frank was quickly standing, and the door was closing before I could say anything else, not that I could say anything to fix the situation I’d landed myself in.
Evidently being naked in someone else’s hallway was way better than facing me though. Then again I didn’t really blame him. I’d made a real ass out of myself.
And my ass hurt.
I woke up with my face hurting from smiling so much the night before. It was a good way to wake up. Even better? Taylor was cuddled up against my side, completely passed out. She looked as blissful as I felt.
I love you.
Those words were traded back and forth all night, and I still wasn’t sick of hearing them. I wanted to wake her up and ask her to say it again, and again, and again. Thankfully I had some self restraint. That, and I think I started creeping her out.
Still, love. It was a big deal.
I loved her, and… she loved me back!
I was flying high, no drugs necessary.
It was the best feeling ever.
I was stuck in love staring at Taylor’s face when the night stand beside her started buzzing. In annoyance I looked over to see her phone buzzing with all it’s might. I stole a glance at her face and in an attempt to keep the call from waking her up, and ruining my morning, I reached out very carefully and pressed answer.
I figured it was just Gerard.
I figured wrong.
I felt like I woke up in heaven, floating on clouds. I seriously imagined that clouds would feel the same way that Mikey’s bed did. It was so fluffy and comfy, and warm.
I yawned as soon as I opened my eyes. The room was dark, with the blinds pulled closed. Mikey was sitting up in bed beside me, shirtless. The sight was drool worthy.
I was pretty head over heels.
It was a ridiculous feeling, much like being in kindergarten and learning the alphabet.
I wanted to jump up and down, and kiss Mikey… and…
“Good morning… Elena.”
And it all came crashing down, rather fast.
My palms were sweaty, though the room was almost cold. As Tay- /Elena/- woke the temperature dropped drastically. The phone call I’d answered weighed heavily on my mind, and I didn’t understand.
I wanted to believe it was a wrong number call. I hoped to God it was a wrong number, but the woman said that she was calling for her daughter Elena… and the name in her contact list… it was labeled ‘Mom’. I had no other excuses for her.
“Hey, sorry we took off yesterday.” I answered the phone call, thinking it was Gerard. I jumped to the conclusion that he was mad that we were nowhere to be seen, but I knew he was busy with Frank. He just didn’t want to come out and say it. He pretended to be such a good fiancé around our parents but I knew better. Taylor didn’t smile around him like she smiled around me.
“We?” There was a squeak, that came from a woman. “Oh my. Are you Elena’s boyfriend?”
I paused. “Elena?” The name was foreign to me.
“Yeah. I’m Elena’s mother. I just wanted to call to wish her a happy birthday since she said she wouldn’t be able to come this weekend. Now I know why! How long have you and my daughter been dating?”
I was hit with a brick of confusion, which slowed my speech. “You’re Elena’s mom?” I stupidly asked, glancing beside me at Taylor.
“Yes, of course silly. Has she not told you about me? Oh, well I don’t expect her to… but you know, it would be nice to see her on more than just her birthday! And this year I don’t even get that.” There was a groan of disapproval. “And I had an entire party set up! It was to be a surprise. I just told her to dress nicely, and then she said she wasn’t coming at all… but enough about me dear, who are you?”
I took a deep breath and pulled the phone away, as I gazed at the words displayed where an unknown number would be. It said… Mom. It was Taylor/Elena’s mother. “I’m Mikey. T- Elena’s boyfriend.”
A lie for a lie, but how big was her lie? Who the hell was she? Who lied about their name? My mind jumped to the worst conclusions possible and I just couldn’t shake them. “Mikey.” The smile was noticeable in her voice, but I couldn’t even fake it. “I like that name. How long have you been dating my daughter?” I hadn’t been. I’d been having sex with someone else, but it was her… it just wasn’t. My thoughts were too hard to understand, and I just wanted to shake Taylor until she woke up. I wanted her to explain that this was a mistake, that she had a sister named Elena but I knew she didn’t. She told me about her brother, and I knew she didn’t have any sisters.
“We’ve been going out for a few weeks.” I tried to make the statement sound normal, but I just couldn’t.
“Oh my. You sound tired dear. Are you tired? I woke you up, didn’t I? Where is Elena? Just hand the phone to her and I’ll leave you be.”
I took a deep breath, and tried to pass it off as a yawn. “She’s asleep. Can I have her return your call?”
“Of course dear! It was so nice to meet you, even if it was just over the phone. Elena never lets me meet her boyfriends, and you sound so nice. Sleep well Mikey.” She sounded like she wanted to say more but she cut herself off.
“Thank you. It was nice to meet you, as well… Mrs. Winchester.” I remembered the name from Elena’s brother’s grave. Hopefully that wasn’t fake.
“Bye Dear.” It obviously wasn’t, because she said nothing. Or maybe it still was. I didn’t know what to think anymore, and so I kind of just stopped. I stopped thinking, as I gazed at Elena. She looked so innocent, but who the hell was she? … She wasn’t Taylor.
Taylor wasn’t real.
“Elena?” Taylor blinked her eyes in confusion. “I don’t know who that is Mikey.” She stuck true to the lie, just as any good liar would.
“You’re Elena.” I calmly answered. I didn’t know where the calm came from, because I most certainly did not feel calm. I almost left. I almost left and said nothing, and just… left but I couldn’t leave Taylor. I couldn’t stand the idea of her waking up alone, and feeling worthless… because I know that’s how she would feel after such an intense night.
God, did she even love me? “Who are you?” I asked, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall. I was a man for fucks sake. I would not cry. I would not cry. Yeah, I just had to keep saying that, because if I stopped my mantra then I would cry. “Who, Elena? Cause you aren’t Taylor. Is Taylor even real, at all? Or did you just make her up?”
Taylor sat up in bed quickly, pulling the blanket up to cover her chest. Yeah, because she cared about flashing me. “It’s not what you think Mikey.” Her smile had slipped completely at this point, and now she just looked… scared.
“Then what is it, because I’m thinking some pretty awful things right now.” I informed her, attempting to keep my voice cold. It was hard, because my heart still beat rapidly for her, and I couldn’t make it /stop/. “Did you target Gerard for his money, and then just find that I was an easier target? Is that what your job really is, conning men?”
I’d heard of girls who married men for their money, but I didn’t know many that changed their names. It had to be a giant con above my intelligence level. My heart was naïve, because it was telling me to forgive her no matter what.
“It’s not like that.” Taylor whispered, as heavy tears slipped down her cheeks. “Mikey, I’m not … I love you, I really love you. Please believe that.” She reached for my hand but I pulled it away from her quickly.
The look on her face sent a million stabbing pains straight to my heart. It wasn’t fair that because she hurt me… I was hurting her, by being hurt. It wasn’t fair at all. “Then what is it like?”
“I-I can’t tell you. Gerard has to.” Taylor wiped away a few of her tears, but her eyes remained glued to me.
“Gerard has to tell me why you’re lying about your name?” I was so confused. “So, he knows?”
“Are you running from someone?” As much as the thought of someone hurting her made my stomach turn over I kind of wished she was running away from an abusive boyfriend or something. Abusive boyfriend I could deal with. I could protect her from that, but if she was… using me, I couldn’t deal with that. I couldn’t deal with knowing that she didn’t love me at all.
Because she’d made me love her.
“No.” Taylor whispered.
“Are you undercover?” That made no sense, but it was as good a guess as any.
“No.” Taylor replied softly. “I… I’m an escort.”
“An escort?” I blinked in confusion. “But don’t men pay them to… like, sleep with them, and stuff?” That didn’t make sense. Then… “Oh god… Gerard, he- he paid you, didn’t he?”
Taylor nodded, as her eyes fell down on to the blanket in front of her. Shame colored her cheeks to a deep red.
“You’re a prostitute.” I whispered.
“No.” Taylor whispered, not looking up at me. “I’m an escort.”
“What’s the difference?” I snapped.
She didn’t answer me, instead jumping as if frightened I would hit her. I would never hit her, no matter how much she hurt me. Her lies had fooled me. She’d fooled me. I was in love with a liar, and a cheat… and a whore, a fucking whore.
“So, if Gerard paid you to have sex with him then why are you in my bed? His cock not enough for you?” My words were cruel but I couldn’t stop them. I felt violated, and used… and dirty- /emotionally and physically/. There was no cure for something this vile.
“He… paid me extra.” Taylor whispered, as she gazed intensely at the pattern on my blanket.
I gasped at how much that hurt. My brother… and Taylor… that was twice the betrayal, all at once. “And… the proposal?” I whispered, confused as to how a marriage proposal worked in to this.
“He let his emotions get the best of him, and let the game control him.” Taylor answered softly. “So, he proposed because just lying about us wasn’t enough. He really wanted it. He wanted the lie.”
“But you’d never be so careless, would you?” I bitterly asked. “You’d never let your feelings get in the way, because I doubt someone like you even has feelings.”
“Gerard never paid me to love you.” Taylor whispered, finally looking up. The raw emotion in her eyes momentarily stunned me but deep inside I knew it was fake… just like the rest of her, just like every time she moaned in to my mouth, or laughed at any of my jokes… or even when she looked at me. It sickened me, forcing large knots to form in my stomach. The feeling of pain was overwhelming and so totally new to me. I didn’t want to feel like this. I didn’t want to feel anything for this… for this whore, but I did.
“The pain is for free then?” I asked, before quickly standing from bed.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you Mikey.” Taylor cried out, standing up from bed as well. Her perfect body did things to my own body that I didn’t want to acknowledge. I wanted to touch her one last time, to feel her, to fuck her… but I wouldn’t.
“Get out.” My tone was ice cold, but it hurt me way more than it would ever hurt her.
Taylor looked down. “I don’t want your parents to see me naked.” I got what she was hinting at. Why not take my clothes? She’d taken, and crushed, my heart. She could have everything for all I fucking cared.
I gestured to my sweats and the shirt I’d loaned her the other night. “Get dressed then.” And so she did. She tried apologizing again. I cut her off with a cold look.
She wiped the last of her tears away and her face lost all emotion. I figured it had never really been there in the first place anyway.
A/N: Hi guys! Sorry, I haven't responded to the previous reviews but I have read them. Thank you for the feedback! I'm pretty sick, having finally caught what was going around at work. We've all been dropping like flies, and now my turn. I'm a big baby when I'm sick. The world is ending, and I can barely move you know... cause I've got the sniffles. Anyway, I thankfully got this typed up. I'm going to try to update a few more things but I'm not sure how far I'll get. Please rate and review? Thank you!)