This is my story, or what I remember of all of it.
If you don't already know, I was born and am being raised in New York City. People think it's all glamorous and it's bright lights and yuppies. If you think that, you don't really don't know much about New York City.
I was born by the Malboro Housing Projects or the slang term for neighborhoods like that, The Projects. My hospital is right by the Malboro Housing Projects, actually. It's the hospial where I was born. I lived by the Malboro Housing Projects, not too far away from there. I lived in The Projects, a different one than the Malboro Housing Projects.
The neighborhood I lived in was really bad. There would always be "Caution: Police Line" tape everyone and some sort of chalk outline. There would always be gunshots and police sirens.
When I was 4, I almost got kidnapped. I still remember his face. It wasn't traumatizing, though. I cried, but I never really thought much of it after. I used to think nothing of it. I'll always remember, but I never really think much of it.
My dad wasn't the best guy. In fact, I don't like him to this very day. Being the youngest of 3 kids, I was the most coddled. I used to be "Daddy's Princess" and shit like that. I also used to say the regular shit little girls say about their dads: "Daddy, I want to marry a guy like you one day." Well, that was a shitty thing to say. I had NO idea.
My dad was controlling. I didn't know it then, but he was. It would be years before I discovered the things he did to my mom. He accused her of cheating various times, even though he,himself, was the cheater. Lord knows how many kids he's fathered. Anyways, whenever my mom would even glance at a man, he would hit her when she got home.
There's one memory that's particularly vivid: my two brothers and I were in my room, watching Pokemon. We heard them arguing, which was nothing unusual. I remember hearing them(in Spanish) arguing. My mom was insisting that she wasn't cheating on him, and my dad, too drunk to stand without wobbling, hit her a few times. He then left the house, probably to drink more.
I remember wobbling over and asking her what was wrong. My brothers knew what had happened and didn't ask her. They knew. My mom, with her head down, sobbing, told me to go watch cartoons.
Years later, he wants to see my brother and I(my other brother is already grown, so he wouldn't have time). Turns out, he has a daughter who's spoiled, a wife who hates me, and a stepdaughter who's...meh.
I saw him, but he stopped calling us. He started again, wanted to celebrate his daughter's birthday, December 14th, on December 10th, completely overlooking mine, which was on December 6th. From then on, I've always had an excuse for not going.
The most amazing woman on Earth. She's so strong. That woman is the toughest woman ever.
At 4 years old, in Mexico, her neighbors technically adopted her. They couldn't have kids, so she moved in with them, and her biological mother let them, since they had 7 other kids and they lived just across the street.
At 16 years old, she went to America and lived with her oldest sister and 4 kids. At 18 years old, she got married and had my first brother. 6 years later, she had my other brother. 3 years later, she had me.
She dealt with my father's abuse until I was 4. Then, we left. We moved to a new apartment, far from there, and we had two bedrooms, one of which was used by five guys, and one of their wives. One of the guys there, Johnny, started a relationship with my mother. I used to think he was okay. He could be scary at times, but he was okay sometimes. Johnny used to get drunk, get into fights with others, and would usually end up passed out on our kitchen floor. He used to get into very loud arguments with my mom. These arguments would usually end in him leaving, him sleeping in his brother's room, or him getting drunk.
I remember this one time, Johnny came home early(or late). He was still wasted, more so than usual. He had bruises. As you could guess, he got into a fight. While my mom went to go get some bandages, Johnny climbed on top of me, and tried to kiss me. I tried to push him off, but he was way too heavy for me, an 8 year old, to push off. Luckily, my mom came in, and tried to get him off. She went to dress his wounds in the kitchen and left me to watch cartoons at 5 a.m.
It would be 4 years before my mom would kick him out FOR GOOD. It was around that time that my oldest brother joined the military. My mom was very brave about this, and she'd be the one dropping him off at the bus station to go to the military base.
If I could ever be half of the amazing, strong woman she is, I could go through anything.
On August 21st, 2011, I went to the park with my friend. My ipod had died, and I wanted to listen to hers. She tells me
"AJ! You HAVE to listen to this song!" my friend said.
I listened to it and I love it. It's called "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance. That night, I look it up, and I download it. The second song I listen to is "I'm Not Okay". I love it. Then, I listen to "Welcome To The Black Parade". It's a song that my older brother had in itunes since he discovered it through a MadTV parody of it. I used to think it was boring, since the beginning sounded like it. I skip ahead a bit, and I hear the leap from that to this amazing rock part. I was in love.
As the year progresses, I discover Green Day, Panic! At The Disco, and Fall Out Boy. I was in love. It helped me through my whole 6th grade year, where I was always talked bad about, and my CRUSH made my life hell by spreading rumors about me constantly obsessing over him. It also helped my during my 7th and 8th grade year, where I made friends, and my crush was in a different class, so I didn't deal with him as much.
My Chemical Romance made me realize that I don't have to be a lawyer. I don't have to be that. I can be just like Gerard Way and inspire people, sing for them, be a rockstar. Make my shiity past a bright future.
My Chemical Romance has impacted my life so much. It's given me the confidence I need to make it through. Now that I'm in high school, I need that confidence. I need it more than ever. It helped me discover FicWad, discover my passion for writing, and making so many amazing friends and meeting awesome people along the way. No matter what happens, no matter who I grow up to be, I will never forget where I came from and who I am.
I am a killjoy.
I am a fanfiction author.
I am AJ.