FicWad

PROLOGUE

The playground was deserted apart from one girl, she was to old to be in a playground but maybe she just went there to think. The sky was dark, it was going to rain any minuet. There was a large gust of wind, it pushed her once, what would have been rich dark brown but now could only pass as dead oily tree bark brown hair, out of her empty sunken eyes. Under her overly pale skin, pointed with her bony cheeks and the dark circles under her eyes, she looked fourteen or fifteen.
But with the lack of sleep on her side and no food having been in her system in weeks, she looked like an anorexic twenty year old.
She swung gently back and forth on the swing, her light brown hair which now reached to the bottom of her rib cage was flowing back and forth with her. Her iPod was turned up to the maximum and was blasting music.
There was a low rumble of thunder in the distance and rain started spitting down.
The girl didn't look up, she just sat there letting the cold harsh rain hit her already frozen skin.
She stood slowly already soaked, and walked out of the park.
Despite the fact that it was only three twenty one, The street lights on her street were all on, and the occasional car that passed had there lights on full beam.
The pavement was slippery, and puddles were quickly filling the pot holes. Her footsteps made no sound against the rain which poured loudly down, it beat harshly against her head, the rain cutting like icicles against her cold fragile skin.
She finally made it to her house. She looked up at the big ugly white and black house and wished that she had been the one who had died, she wished she could take her own life and give it to him.
She stood silently in the rain, waiting, watching, listening, to the sound of the rain, to the light from the front window, but she knew she was waiting for nothing, there was nothing to wait for, nothing would come, only a bitter end which she so desperately craved.
She had to walk in there and deal with more people who felt sorry for her, she hated the pity. It was almost as bad as the pain of loosing him. Nothing could compare to the pain of loosing him.
She opened the gate and walked as slowly as possible up to the house.
Once at the front door she took a deep breath and opened it.
She walked inside as quietly as possible and tip toed inside dripping ice cold water on the ugly grey shag carpet. She didn't want them to know she was home, otherwise she would be made to sit down and eat, no, she didn't want food, what good did food do her? Every bite she ate was a bite he couldn't have, it made her sick to think about it.
Her hair was dripping cold drops of water down her back making her even chillier, she didn't care though, what did the temperature matter?
She placed a careful foot on the first step and continued up the stairs as quietly as possible, she didn't go any faster then required or the stairs would have squeaked.
She ran her cold hands up the thick wooden banister, disturbing a fine layer of dust as she did so.
She made it to her bedroom door on the first floor.
It was open, she peaked inside. On her bed was a small parcel. She closed the door behind herself making absolutely no noise. She picked it up and unwrapped it, inside was a small box and a letter. Her body grew even colder, she looked at the letter, she placed down the box on her purple and black doona cover, she used her bony pinkie finger to open it, running a ragged nail along the sticky flap opening it. She slid the letter out carefully and she studdied the front, her breath caught in her throat. It was his hand writing, she knew it so well, suddenly she felt dizzy, she caught a faint whiff of his cologne.
She chucked the letter down like it was poisonous, She didn't need this, not now, she inspected the box from a safe distance, she didn't risk opening it. It was small, no bigger then the palm of her hand, and it was a dark velvety purple.
She shook her head and shrugged off her black cardigan and her shoes, she left her room, closing and locking her bathroom door, she turned her back to it and slid down the door with tears in her eyes.
He was gone, she couldn't allow herself to think any differently.
He was gone.
He was gone.
He was gone.
She got back up, her feeble bones groaning with the strain.
She turned the shower on and ran her hand underneath the water to test for warmth, but her body didn't aloe her to feel any.
She slipped out of the rest of her clothes and stepped shyly into the shower, she stood with the door open and studied herself in the mirror, she was disgusted. Her once full C cups were down to A, her once flat toned stomach was now hollowed out, you could see her rib cage so easily, her legs and arms were stick thin and brittle, and her face was flat, her nose and eyes were sunken and her once beautiful full red lips were now flat and colorless.
"I'm a monster" she said covering her eyes with the palms of her hands.
She slid down the shower wall letting soft sobbs escape her shuddering broken body.
"I'm a monster" she whispered in a lifeless tone. She was ready to give up. Ready to let death have his ruthless way with her, but there was a small voice in the back of her head, a voice saying she needed to live, to move on, a voice saying she needed to forget.