Bert hadn’t set foot in the room since he brought me something to eat. In a way, it was kind of nice not having to see him. But at the same time, I was starting to get hungry again. He had eaten about an hour ago. I had no idea what it was, but it smelled delicious.
For the last hour I had been sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the door, thinking. If I go out there I would confront him. He said Gerard wasn’t as perfect as I always thought, I could at least give him a chance to tell me why. Even if it was a bunch of lies.
This was all one big lie, trying to make me hate Gerard so that I would leave him. At first, I thought the goal was to get rid of me, but that was stupid. If Bert wanted me dead, he would have killed me a long time ago. The only thing that made sense, was that he was trying to make me hate Gerard.
Then after Gerard was free, Bert would be there. No matter what Gerard tried to do, Bert would make him take him back. Because that’s just the kind of person Bert is.
Finally, I just did it. I got off the bed and opened the door. Bert himself told me I wasn’t a prisoner here. So, I was going to get myself something to eat.
The living room was empty. The only light was coming from the TV. It was some old black and white movie, that I didn’t recognize. There was a light coming in from another room, the kitchen. I could hear noises in there, and I knew it was Bert.
Without a seconds hesitation, I walked through the living room and into the kitchen. What I saw shook me to the core. On the counters were glasses of every shape and size. Some of them were half-filled with honey colored liquid, while others were empty. Bert had been drinking, and drinking heavily.
All I wanted to do was turn around and leave the room. I’d already seen what Bert can do while he’s sober. I didn’t want to see him drunk. I heard a bottle smash behind me. I turned around only to find Bert curled up in the corner, shards of glass all around him.
His eyes were bloodshot and puffy. His face was tear stained. he had obviously been in here, crying for a long time. I didn’t know how to react, so I ended up standing there awkwardly.
Finally, he looked up, noticing me for the first time. He rubbed his face, standing up in a flash. Obviously I wasn’t supposed to see him like this. He didn’t say a word, just stared at me. Almost like he was waiting for me to break the silence first. But I had no idea what to say. I didn’t even know what was happening.
All of a sudden he threw his hands up in the air, “What?”
I backed away from him slowly, “Nothing. I was just hungry...” My voice trailed off.
He looked down at the floor, and I could tell he was trying to hide his crying. Hesitantly, I stepped towards him. I wasn’t sure how he would react, but seeing Bert like this killed me. There was no way this was the same man that raped me all those years ago. I was still terrified that he would lash out, being drunk and all, but I could take my chances.
Letting out a deep breath, I placed a hand on his shoulder. Before I knew what was happening, he grabbed onto my shirt and pulled me into him. He buried his face in my chest and just cried. For a while I just stood there in stunned silence. I hadn’t expected him to react like that. In fact, I’d been expecting the opposite.
“Bert--” As I said his name, he brought his face up and met my eyes.
“You are so lucky, you know that. You have Gerard, and everything is perfect for you. Even if it is built on lies.” He shook his head, and stepped away from me. “I’d rather have that, than know the truth, and be alone.”
This was the second time Bert mentioned Gerard and lies. Maybe there was more to this whole thing than I originally thought. Maybe Gerard isn’t as great as I thought... God, this was exactly what Bert wanted. He wanted to get to me, make me think Gerard wasn’t perfect. Then he would have him all to himself.
“What are you even talking about? Gerard has never lied to me.” I tried to keep my voice as steady as possible. The last thing I wanted was for him to get angry. Especially while drunk.
He chuckled dryly. “I wouldn’t be so sure.” He walked toward the kitchen counter and started picking up the empty glasses. “He probably told you that I pressured him into drugs and drinking, right?” He set the glasses in the sink before turning around and facing me. “That’s lie number one.”
Okay, now I was sure he was making this all up. Of course Bert was the one doing all the pressuring. Gerard had never been involved in stuff like that. Ever. I was sure of it.
At least, Gerard never mentioned anything. I know that he used to drink, but it put him in a dark place. It just wasn’t something he did anymore. But I was sure he would have never pressured anyone to do anything they didn’t want to do. He’d never done it with me, why would he do it with Bert.
It just didn’t make any sense. Bert was obviously lying. But I would go along with his game, let him think he was winning. Maybe it would get me out of here sooner.
He shrugged, grabbing a half empty glass from the counter and downing it. “I know what you’re thinking, but it’s true. Gerard isn’t this perfect little person you make him out to be. Everyone has dark secrets.” He placed the empty glass in the sink and gripped the counter tightly.
I stepped toward him suddenly. “If Gerard is so bad, why do you want him back so badly?”
He sighed, staring straight at the wall. “He was the first person that made me feel loved, like I meant something.” he turned around meeting my eyes. “I can’t just let that go.”
We both stood there for a long time, staring at each other in silence. Each of us waiting for the other to speak first. It was him that broke the silence. “Anyway, I guess you deserve to know a little of the truth.”