FicWad

As they waited for the locksmith to arrive, Gerard questioned Ayasha about her talk with Tom. “So I’m guessing since he came in to make sure the place was safe, you told him about Kyle’s visit last night?”

Ayasha sighed, “Well as you’d pointed out there was no way for me to hide that.”

He brushed back her hair but again was filled with anger at the sight of the bruising to her cheek. “No, no way to hide what that bastard did.”

Shifting her weight she pulled her legs up on onto the sofa to hug her knees. “Tom noticed right away. He was already at the shop when I arrived and insisted we go to the office to talk. That’s when I tired to tell him about my past, I said there was something I needed to tell him.”

Gerard nodded, “And he wouldn’t let you?”

She smiled slightly, “He asked if it was something I wanted to tell him or something I thought I had to tell him.”

“He’s a smart guy.”

“Tom said he knew from the first time he met me that I was running from something but that his gut told him to trust me.” She looked down the added, “He even told me that first morning after he’d given me a place to stay he was afraid I’d be gone when he returned.”

“Did you admit to him you thought about leaving?”

She nodded, “Yes, I told him I’d been afraid to trust his kindness.”

“Good.” Gerard smiled, “I’m glad you admitted that to him. So then I guess he wanted to know what had happened to your face?”

“Yes, and I told him about Kyle thinking I was having an affair with Marco because the last thing I want is for Marco to be pulled into this.”

“I have to admit I’ve been wondering who Marco is.”

“Oh.” Ayasha looked up in surprise. “I’m sorry, I didn’t explain...”

He held up his hand. “It’s okay. I wasn’t gonna press you for information last night but when Kyle brought up Marco I did wonder.”

“Marco works for Tom too. He’s a really nice guy who’s married and has two small children. But the other day when Tom realized that Kyle had been harassing me he told Kyle that he’d sent me and Marco on a buying trip and that I wouldn’t be home until Thursday night.”

“Told him that so he wouldn’t bother you?”

“Yes, that’s why he made up that story, so Kyle wouldn’t bother me. Tom realized I needed some time to myself.”

“And Kyle was jealous because he believed you’d gone out of town with Marco.”

Ayasha nodded, “Yes, and when he came in here and found the clothes I bought you…”

“He saw you had men’s clothing and assumed they must belong to Marco.”

“Yes.”

“Speaking of my clothes…” Gerard stood up. “I’m gonna put them on.”

Sadness covered Ayasha’s face.

Gerard understood, “Hey, I know when I go back into the darkness I’ll be wearing this again.” He pointed down at what he was wearing. “But while I’m here I want to wear the sweats.”

Ayasha sat silently lost in thought while he changed his clothing. Once he was done he folded his original clothing and set them on a nearby chair. “Weird that I always come back in my original clothing, isn’t it? I wonder if these…” he pointed to the sweats “just stay wherever I’m at when I go into the darkness.”

She too had given this some thought. “Maybe you don’t really leave.” She said slowly. “Maybe you’re still here but not conscious.”

He sat back down by her. “We’ll never really know because you’re the only one who can see me.”

The question was still bothering her. “Yesterday morning when I left you were wearing the sweats. Wonder where Kyle found them?”

“Well when you walked in I was by the windows where I was standing when the darkness came but the sweats were on the kitchen table. Pretty sure that’s where he put them so he could confront you about them.”

Ayasha nodded, “Yes, I agree. But when I came home just a bit ago they were on that chair.”

He hated to admit it to her but he didn’t want to lie. “Uh, that’s because I was sitting in the chair when you left this morning.”

“You were?” He had told her that he watched her each morning from the window when she left.

“Yeah.” He glanced away.

She knew immediately something was wrong. “Why?”

He shrugged.

“Gee.” Ayasha said reaching out to touch his arm. “Why? Please tell me.”

She’d been so happy before he wished he hadn’t brought this up. “Don’t know.”

“You do know and you’re not telling me. Why didn’t you watch me leave this morning?”

He knew she’d keep asking if he didn’t tell her the truth. “Because at first when you’d leave I’d be here until you went out of sight. But yesterday morning it happened while I was still watching you.”

“Because you are growing weaker.” She whispered looking down.

“Hey, stop that.” He forced himself to smile. “We were having a good day and now you’re all sad.”

“How can I not be sad?” She asked looking into his eyes. “What if….”

He stared at her. “What if, what?”

“Nevermind.” She said suddenly.

“Ayasha, what if what?”

She forced herself to give her fear words. “What if we’re just sitting here and you suddenly disappear? I can’t stand to even think about that happening.”

Quickly he pulled her towards him forcing her to unfold her legs so he could bring her body next to his. “Ayasha, I still feel much stronger when you’re near.”

“But for how long?” She whispered burying her head against his neck. “How long?”

________
LA
________

Mikey sat alone in the waiting room lost in thought. The doctor had just been in to speak to him about the results of Gerard’s test. While they couldn’t find any reason for his seizures the fact that they had left his brother’s body weakened was troubling. He considered calling his mother but decided to hold off hoping she was getting the sleep she needed. Still he felt so alone. As much as he wanted Alicia at his side he realized that when she returned she would have news that could possibly change their lives. And that fact scared him. For so long they’d wanted a baby and he truly wanted to feel happiness at the thought it could finally be happening. However he couldn’t and that filled him with sadness. Right now, with what was going on with Gerard he couldn’t be happy about anything.

His head snapped up when he heard the door open.

“Hey.” Alicia said walking over towards where he sat.

Mikey searched her face for the answer.
______________________________________________


The locksmith had just completed his work and was repacking his tools.

“How much do I owe you?’ Ayasha asked preparing to write a check.

“Already been taken care of.” He answered with a smile.

Ayasha frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“Tom’s an old fried of mine. I owed him a favor.” The man said as he opened the door. “So no charge.”

Ayasha was about to take issue with the situation, she wanted to pay for the work herself when she noticed Gerard had moved to stand very close to her, his eyes closed. She understood he was listening to something.

“Well, thank you.” She said softly.

Once the door was closed she placed her arms around Gerard hoping her nearness helped him to hear more clearly. For several moments she stood with her arms wrapped around him, waiting.

“It was Mikey.” Gerard said reopening his eyes. “And thank you.”

“Thank you?”

“Yeah, before you put your arms around me I could hardly hear him.” He moved back over to the sofa then sat down.

Ayasha could tell he was upset. She sat down next to him. “What did he say?”

Gerard smiled sadly. “That he needs me to come out of the coma and help him. He’s gonna be a dad.”

“Oh.” Ayasha was surprised. “His wife is going to have a baby?”

“Yeah, Alicia just found out she’s pregnant but Mikey’s scared. He admitted to me that he’s afraid this new life is happening to help him deal with the one he’s going to lose.”

Sadly she understood. “He’s not going to lose you.” She said with more determination then she truly felt. “But I wish he hadn’t told you that.”

Gerard sighed, “Well, I’m guessing he’s given up on believing I can hear him.”

“But you can. And you’re going to do what he asked, you’re gonna come out of the coma and help him deal with being a dad.”

Gerard put his arm around her. “If your sheer determination could cause that to happen it definitely would.”

Ayasha put aside her own fears for him. “I am determined. You are going to come out of the coma and make your life better.”

“I just want to fix the things I’ve fucked up.” He said softly.

“And that will make your life better.” She hugged him back. “Now then, what do we want to do today?”

He wasn’t sure if it was because he’d only been in the darkness a much shorter time but he was definitely feeling better. “We could finish our paintings. I really think you should take Tom up on his offer to let you sell your work in the shop.”

“Oh.” She hadn’t even given that any thought. “I don’t know. I really can’t imagine anyone wanting to buy something I painted.”

“Oh, woman.” He laughed, “You really can’t see your own talent, can you? Believe me people will want to buy your work.” His gaze went over to the easels. “I wonder why he didn’t mention my painting. I mean I could tell he could see it and that bastard Kyle saw it.”

Ayasha too had given this some thought. “Tom doesn’t like to pry. I’m sure he realized I’ve had someone else here but he didn’t want to ask.” She smiled, “And since you’ve already sighed your painting he knew it wasn’t mine.”

Gerard nodded glancing at his “G” signature, “Yeah, that’s true.” Instead of continuing that conversation he got back to his original thought. “Maybe instead of finishing that one you can start another.” When he looked over at her and saw her surprised look he explained. “You know, paint something to sell.”

Now Ayasha looked over at her painting. “I could sell that one.”

The idea of her selling the painting that was so personal upset him. “But that’s where…”

“Yes, that’s where I lost my mother.” She said softly. “I needed to remember that spot, I needed to remember that day.” Slowly she went on. “But I’ve done that.” Turning to him she looked into his eyes. “Now I need to let it go. Do you understand?”

In a way he did understand. “Yeah, I guess I do.” He admitted. “But if I could I’d buy it, it’s beautiful. Tom was right, it’s beautiful but you can feel the sadness in the work. It’s haunting.”

“Well, you can’t buy it.” Ayasha smiled, “So I just have a few final touches and I think I’ll take it tomorrow to the shop. There is a huge festival with an art show that will bring in a lot of customers.”

Still he was having trouble imagining the painting being lost to a stranger. “Maybe you could save it for me to buy.” He shook his head, “No, that’s stupid. Why keep something waiting for someone who might never really return.”

“You will return to your life.” Ayasha said forcing herself to be strong. “But you may never return to this place. We both know that, we just don’t like to admit that truth.”

He was overwhelmed with emotion. “Somehow if I return to my life I just know I’ll come back here, to you.”

This was something she didn’t believe. Not wanting to dwell on the sadness that was threatening her mood she smiled, “Okay, we’ll paint then don’t forget we have a camp out planned.”

How on earth could she even think he’d forget that? “Well, yeah, I’m really looking forward to that.” He grinned. “Really looking forward to that.”

Ayasha felt heat rise to her cheeks. She too was anticipating what would happen but she had to make sure he was feeling strong enough. Somehow she couldn’t help but realize what happened to him here, affected his body in LA.

“Ayasha.” He said taking her hand. “I know what you’re thinking but believe me making love to you is what I want, what I need.”

She searched his face for the truth. “I don’t want to ever do anything that could hurt you.” She whispered.

“Missing the chance to make love to you would hurt me.” He said as his hands caressed her back. “Trust me on that.”

“And you really feel okay, I mean you don’t feel weak?”

He pressed his body against hers in answer.

“Oh.” Ayasha could feel his need. She smiled slowly as a plan formed in her brain. “Wait here.”

He released her from his arms. “Where are you going?”

“Into the bedroom.” She smiled.

Gerard understood the look in her eyes. “Yeah, okay.”

A few minutes later when she called out to him he didn’t waste any time reaching the bedroom door. As he pushed it open and his eyes caught sight of her he smiled, “Wow”

Ayasha smiled slightly feeling very self-conscious. Wearing nothing but a pair of cowboy boots caused that. “You like?”

“Yeah, I like.” He said as his eyes roamed over her body. “I like very much.” Slowly he crossed over to where she stood. “Let me show you just how much I like.” He said in a throaty voice as he took her hand. He led her to the bed then placed his hands on her shoulders forcing her to sit. Slowly, his eyes never leaving her face he knelt down in front of her. Ayasha’s breath caught as his hands pushed her legs apart then slowly from the toe of the boots to the top he ran his hands in a caressing fashion. Once his fingers reached her skin just above the boot he smiled, “Nice. You have beautiful legs.”

Ayasha was watching, her breathing coming faster. When she noticed he was looking closely at her legs she asked, “What are you doing?”

“Not fuzzy at all.”

“Oh.” She threw back her head and laughed, “I shaved them this morning, thank you very much.”

He looked up into her eyes, “For me?”

“You can’t feel if they’re fuzzy or not.” She answered with a frown.

“But you did it for me anyway, didn’t you?”

“Gee, why are we discussing the condition of my legs?”

He grinned mischievously, “Cause I like to think you did it for me.”

“Okay, fine. I did it for you. Even though you can’t feel that they were fuzzy it still bothered me. Besides I wanted them to look good for you.”

His eyes fell back to her legs. “Oh, they look fine. Damn fine.”

Ayasha could tell something wasn’t right. “Gee, if you don’t want to right now, it’s okay.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to.” He said slowly. “It’s just…”

She reached out to gently touch his face. “Just what?”

Now he felt trapped, he wanted to tell her the truth but couldn’t find the words.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” She said softly.

He shook his head, “I just want to make love to you.”

Finally she understood. “Oh, well that’s good but I want to make love to you and that involves a lot of visual stimulation.” She moved slightly so she could stand. “Now, tell me what you want, tell me what you want to see.”

Gerard was shocked, “What I want to see? Ayasha you don’t have to put on a show for me.”

“I want to.” She said knowing she needed to make him understand how she felt. “I never realized loving someone could change thing so much. What we’ve done, what we will do, is because of the way I feel for you.” She smiled, “Now tell me Mr. Way, what do you want me to do?”

Slowly he rose to his feet. “Undress me.”

“As you wish.” She purred. When he lifted his arms she pulled the sweatshirt off then tossed it to the floor. Next she slipped her fingers under the elastic of the sweat pants then pushed them down his legs. Once he’d stepped out of them she kissed his chest and whispered, “Boxers too?”

“Yeah, them too.” His voice was rough with passion.

“As you wish.” She ran her hands down his sides but this time as she pushed the material down she rained kisses on his chest, down his stomach….

“Stop.”

Ayasha’s head snapped up.

Gerard smiled, “I believe you put me in charge?”

“Oh.” She giggled understanding now. “I did indeed.”

He stepped out of the boxers then sat down on the bed. “Now then.” His eyes roamed her body. “First off I just want to get a good look at my girl.”

It warmed her heart to hear him call her, his. “Okay.” She stood completely still.

Gerard couldn’t ever remember being this visually stimulated before. “Turn”

Slowly Ayasha turned in a circle.

He was still trying to edit the words that came out of his mouth. “Uh, you have a nice backside.”

“Backside?” Ayasha threw back her head and laughed. “Backside, really? Gee, stop trying to be so damn polite.”

He hoped she truly meant that. “Okay, you’ve got a great ass.”

“Thank you.” Ayasha smiled, “Now what is your next command?”

His brain went into overdrive thinking about all the things he wanted to do. “Walk over to the dresser.” When she did as he commanded he continued. “Place your hands on it and lean.”

Ayasha did so. While she couldn’t see him nearing her in the reflection of the mirror, she could hear the mattress springs softly squeak as he got up. A moment later she felt his hands running down her back. “Beautiful.” He whispered.

Her body was responding to his touch. “I’m already wet.” She whispered for once not embarrassed by intimacy.

“Good.” He leaned forward and breathed into her ear. “I’m gonna make you very wet, and very ready for me.”

“Oh” She cried out in anticipation as he sank to the floor then pushed her legs apart. “Gee” Her whole body shook when she felt his tongue on the inside of her right leg moving upward. When it reached her inner thigh he stopped then did the same movement to her left leg. Ayasha moaned as this time when his tongue reached her inner thigh it flicked against her wet slit.

Gerard sat back on his heels. “That’s right, I want to hear you moan.”

She leaned heavily against the dresser, her body wanted her to beg for his touch.

Still he had to be sure, “Ayasha do you like this?”

“Oh, yes.” She nodded looking at her reflection in the mirror, her eyes were large, her face flush. “Very much.”

“Good.”

She almost moaned in frustration when she realized he’s stood back up.

“Turn around.”

When she did she saw he was once more seated on the bed. “Pull that stool over by you.”

Ayasha wondered what he had in mind. “Okay.”

Once it was in place beside her his next command made its purpose clear.

“Put one of those beautiful booted legs on it.”

Slowly she lifted her foot onto the stool.

“Now I want you to cup your breast with one hand while the other touches that beautiful wetness.”

Her first response was to deny his request. She’d never done for a man what he was asking but when she looked into his eyes, saw the love, she nodded. “For you.” Her right hand went to her breast while the other slid slowly down her body. When she felt the wetness between her legs she remembered his tongue had just visited the same spot.

“Beautiful.” Gerard said in a low, coaxing voice. “And very, very hot.” His eyes grew wide as he watched her delicate fingers touching her body.

Her fingers trembled as she teased her own body. She kept her eyes trained on him, seeing the pleasure in his eyes excited her more than her own touch. Ayasha slightly leaned against the dresser feeling her body begin to tremble.

“Tell me how that feels.” Gerard ground out needing to hear the truth.

“Good, very good.” Her voice was breathless, “I’m hot and very wet.” Now the fingers on her breast were gently tweaking her nipple. Knowing he was watching, being visually stimulated, urged her on. Slowly she ran her finger down her wet slip then slid one inside her heat.

“Oh, fuck.” Gerard muttered.

Ayasha smiled seductively. “I’m imagining my fingers are yours.”

It was taking all his control not to go to her. “Are you ready for me?” His voice shook.

“Very.”

“Come.” He held out his hand then stood. When she was in front of him he took the hand that had been pleasuring herself and licked her fingers. Ayasha’s response was immediate, she moaned.

“Wish I could taste the sweetness.” He murmured.

“Gee.” She was shaking with desire. “Please.”

He smiled, “What, Ayasha? What do you want?”

“To feel you inside me.” She answered without hesitation.

He took her shoulders then turned her around so she was facing the bed. “Bend over, lean on the bed.”

Ayasha planted her feet securely then leaded over.

“A beautiful ass.” He whispered as his hand ran over the creamy softness of her cheeks.

She was breathing heavily; anticipation of what would happen next was overwhelming.

Gerard reached down to take his dick into his hand. Slowly, teasingly he placed the tip at the entrance of her heat. He inched it in just enough to hear her moan then pulled back out.

“Gee.”

“Patience, Honey.” He crooned.

Ayasha’s head hung down and she closed her eyes. She’d never in her life begged but soon she would, she knew that.

Again he placed the rock hard tip at her entrance then gently eased in just a bit. His eyes were trained on his movements, it was a beautiful sight. This time he didn’t pull out, instead he ran his hands over her ass, caressing. He smiled when he saw her try to push her body back to accept his length.

“Ayasha, is not being very patient.” He teased.

“Ayasha wants you.” She cried out. She was shocked when he pulled completely out. A moment later she felt his hands on her shoulders forcing her to stand. “Gee?”

“As much as I loved that I couldn’t see your face.” He explained gently. “I want to see your eyes when I make love to you.”

Before she could respond he gently pushed her on to the bed so that her legs were still hanging over the side. “But first.” He got on his knees and began to make love to her with his mouth.

“Oh, Gee.” She moaned as his tongue flicked her sensitive nub. Using her fingers he parted her lips exposing her completely to him. As his tongue trailed up her wet slit he saw her body was shaking.

Ayasha could feel the desire building but she tried to hold it in check. She wanted him inside her. “Gerard Way, stop it.” She ground out.

He lifted his head to gaze into her eyes.

“I want you inside me, now.” She couldn’t stop herself from adding, “Please.”

Gerard smiled, “Your wish is my command.” He scooted her body further on the bed then as he looked deeply into her eyes he entered her.

“Oh.” Asha moaned deeply. “Yes.”

He began to move inside her. “Is this what my girl wants?”

“Yes.” Her eyes and voice were both heavy with passion. “Yes.”

Slowly he began to thrust in and out but it wasn’t enough.

“Harder.” Ayasha said as her hands came up to caress his back urging him deeper inside her core.

Gerard thrust again watching her closely. He could see she was almost there. One more deep thrust and the desire washed over her body as she cried out his name. He had never felt more satisfied.

Carefully he pulled out of her body then lay down beside her. When she opened her eyes she saw he was smiling but the smile faded.

“Honey, what is it?” He was afraid he’d been too rough, he’d hurt her.

“I hate the fact you can’t feel.” She whispered. “That you don’t…”

He looked down at his now limp dick. “I don’t exactly know what happens with my body.” He admitted softly. “But I know my mind is fuckin’ satisfied.”

She reached between their bodies to take him into her hand. “Still I wish…”

“Ayasha it’s hard for me to explain but watching the pleasure I give you, well that means more to me than you’ll ever know.”

She smiled, “I love you.”

“And I love you and your boots.” He teased. “And thank you.”

“Thank you?”

He wanted to make sure she understood. “I know when I first told you to touch yourself you wanted to say no.”

“Before I would never have done that for any man.” She said gazing deeply into his eyes. “But for you I…”

“Because of love.” He brushed a strand of dark hair from her face. “Because love changes things.”

“Yes.” She nodded. Because of love but...”

“What?” He asked looking into her eyes.

“I’ve never been in love before.” She whispered. “And it frightens me.”

He sighed, “And being in love with someone who’s body is laying in a coma…”

“You are very real to me.” Ayasha said quickly wishing she hadn’t admitted her fear. “Nothing will every change that. The love we share has changed my life.”

“I hope that more than you will ever know.” He kissed her cheek, “Because you have changed me too.”