Categories > Original > Humor

NARNIA: Where Dreams Become Profiles

by Sam41 11 Reviews

You really wanna read about me? An awkward Canadian music nerd? I EDITED IT FOR SOME REASON

Category: Humor - Rating: G - Genres:  - Characters:  - Published: 2013/03/11 - Updated: 2013/04/09 - 1647 words

OHHAITHERE
I doubt anyone is going to read this shit,
But meh
Merp

NAME: Oh fuck
Um Well my real name is long forgotten
Sam Wesley Alexx
I hate my real name
and I DESPISE Sam
Why Mom? WHY DID YOU NAME ME SAMANTHA LIKE FUCK YOU TOO
Too.Girly.
Ewwwww
Plus I always wanted to have a last name like Alexx
Thought it would cool, so I was like "Hey, Ficwad is a place where you can be PenguinCorn Joe if you really wanted to, my last name there will be Alexx"
I have a thing where I don't like people knowing my true last name

So to you all, it's Alexx
Unless you're name is, well nevermind
One person can use my last name
Which I'll be fine with
Yeah, no offence but I'm a picky ass bitch

Username: 10 POINTS AND A TACO FOR WHOEVER CAN GUESS IT!!
But in the past I was
Simple_Plan_
XEvil_AngelX
It was hilarious how shitty I was at writing on my first account (it's dead, it's gone)
And the Evil Angel one was too much to type when I logged in xP
LAZY ASS PROBLEMS
Yeah
I am a lazy ass and proud
Unless it's about music or concerts, then I'll be like "OMG WHAT DO I DO, I WILL DO ANYYYYYTHING"
Like anything that isn't sexual(NO YOU PUSHY FUCKING VIRGIN, GOOD GOD RYAN I AM BEING ABSTINENT GET THE FUCK OFF MY BALLS)
Yeah, just read AJ's smells like teen spirit fic a while back
Good reads
I reccomend it

Relationship Status: Um, I am my best friend Brittany's pedo
And she's my stalker, we went to a concert together, and shit went down
NO NOT REALLY, good god people; don't take me so seriously like that
Boooo

My actual in life, main chikka girlfriend is the all amazing Ash(HatedEyes)
Thinking of it, there was actually no "will you go out with me" or anything
It was more like
we hit on each other a lot
Then it was "yeah we're dating right?"
"Oh fuck yeah"
"I'm going to tell everyone you're my girlfriend all right?"
"Oh of course, because I love my girlfriend"
"So now I'm your girlfriend"
"Oh fuck yeah"

It was a good night...good good night

Age: 77
Oh yeah
I'm in all honesty a 15 year old
Yeah

GENDER: I'm a girl
A woman
I LACK MALE PARTS
AND NO I AM NOT A MAN
CAUSE yeah
That would be pretty fucking weird

COUNTRY: The place where we live in igloos, have pet polar bears named Susan
(HIS NAME IS SUSAN, RESPECT HIS LIFE CHOICES) xD
And live off maple syrup and poutine

City: The place where Sum 41 is visting, in March
on the 22nd
AND I GET TO FUCKING GO
omg
So.Bloody.Excited :D
IT WAS PERFECT

FAVORITE MUSICIANS/BANDS:
Really?
FINE HERE WE FUCKING GO
Top 3:
Simple Plan
Breaking Benjamin
Sum 41
I could like write an essay on them, I know so much
Not obsessive, dedicated ;P

The rest (whom I love a lot too)
All Time Low
Marianas Trench
Asking Alexandria
Cherri Bomb
Fall Out Boy
The Operation M.D
H20
The Offspring
Bring Me to The Horizon
Pierce the Veil
Sleeping With Sirens
Suicide Silence
Linkin Park
Theory of a Deadman
Hedley
Green Day
blink 182
Attack! Attack!
Of Mice & Men
Angels and Airwaves
+44
Foo Fighters
System of a Down
Falling In Reverse
Escape the Fate
Motionless In White
....


FAVORITE MOVIES:

Spirited Away (one of the only anime I will EVER watch)
Hunger Games
Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
Saw(1-7)
Hostel(not the third, the third one sucks)
The Collector (NOT THE MOTHERFUCKING KITTY)
Hedley: Try This At Home
Sum 41: Go Chuck Yourself
Simple Plan: A Big Package for You
The Invisible
Paranormal Activity (1-4)

FAVORITE TV SHOWS:

Adventure Time :3
Spongebob
Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show
Family Guy
Futurama
American Dad
Hoppus On Music (I miss that show, it was an amazing show)
Yeah whatever's on that DOESN'T SUCK

FAVORITE BOOKS

Virals
Beautiful Disaster
Rot&Ruin/Dust&Decay/Flesh&Bone
Maximum Ride (THE SERIES IS OVER AND I LIKE CRIED IN THE END OF NEVERMORE GODDAMMIT)
Maximum Ride graphic novels (fuck you, it's my favorite series)
The Uglies
Simple Plan: The Official Story
Hunger Games
Anna Dressed In Blood/Girl of Nightmares
Perks of Being a Wallflower

FAVORITE FICS

Uh,

Smells Like Teen Spirit- atomickilljoy
Growing Up-atomickilljoy
Let's Change the World-atomickilljoy
Anything by HatedEyes
BipolarUnicorn's poems (Good god Abbie, those are deep!)
Well pretty much anything by atomickilljoy
Almost anything by Mia (xXchickenwithatacoXx)
Words Hurt- ColorfulShadow(Can I say you spell colourful weird.)
The Runaway Returns/Why High School Sucks- Obsessive-Fangirl
When We Walked In on Gay McLovin'(The Party Fic)- MCR-99 (ohmygod, I can't even)
Don't Sell Your Heart, Don't Say We're Not Meant to Be- MCR-99
That's off FW, and probably a bunch more(If I ever told you "hey I like this" I seriously mean it, because I don't lie to be nice..I am a pretty blunt spoken person)

And this fic, Awkwardly Drunk
It's not on FW, but goodgodholyshit
It's a Sum 41 fic and it will always be my favorite fanfic
IT IS SO BLOODY ADORABLE(just the way they act in the end) ohmygod it's perfect, and I hate it so much
("YOU FUCKING CRAZY SCZHISOPHRINIC DUMBASSES YOU LOVE EACH OTHER NOW GO MAKE THINGS BETTER")
It's perfect though, the whole shit that goes on between the two is because they got really fucking drunk and fucked one night
It.Is.Perfect (I read it a lot, like finish it; love it too much and read it again)
AND I AM READING IT AGAIN AFTER LIKE MONTHS
FUCKING MONTHS
-insert sobbing out of OTP-
I don't care, Cone/Deryck is my all time motherfucking OTP
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF IT'S FAKE
IT.IS.ADORABLE
So fuck you all who say differently -flips everyone off as I walk out dramatically-
Waitwaitwait
-Runs back in-
I'm sorry for acting like some 10 year old with "Swag" (and not the Sex With Alex Gaskarth type)

FAVORITE AUTHORS

Errr,
-Aj
-Ash
-Lauren
-Elli (DID YOU GUYS KNOW IT'S ACTUALLY SPELLED ELLIE, like I didn't know that, until she asked why I forgot an E)
-Mia
-Hozzie
-insert thinking face-
-Dani (She has killer song fics like gah)
Uh I don't know currently (I am half dead/really stressed) so if I didn't put you on the list, but I've reveiwed your stuff, I'm sorry
-MIRANDA OMFG
SORRY MY FIRST FW DAUGHTER
I lurve you
GODFUCKINGDAMMIT I KNEW I WOULD FORGET SOMEONE AMAZING
-Abbie

FAVORITE PERSONALITIES
BITCH!
Damn
kay fine

-Ash (my amazing Mr.Sex)
-Christy(my fat jesus buddy; dude that has to be a fucking fic)
-AJ (she's my FW wife, not really; I am NOT a fucking cheater)
-Miranda (MY first FW daughter, and favorite pushy virgin)
-Lauren (if your favorite singer looks like sonic, sooooo not my fault xP)
-Elli (-hisses while crawling into corner-)
-Jazzy (She's pretty fucking cool, understands the realism of Sash)
-Ryan and Gem (their nice guys)
-Nikki (I'm sorry I messed up your name before)
-Abbie(She pocketdials,...IMMA MISS YOUUUUUU)
-Dani (She seems so fucking hyper all the time, I LOVE IT)
-MAH KITTY(Mia) (MY FW BABY SISTER, even though she's older than meeee)
-Jay (my amazing dumbass friend who tends to hurt herself like a stupid motherfucker)
-Becca
-Liz and Axel
-Anyone else on here; because you're all cooler than a potatoe

HEROS

M'kay
-The 5 amazing guys from Simple Plan
-A lot of you guys
-Cone from Sum 41
-Mike from Marianas Trench
-Breaking Benjamin
-Jamie from Pierce the Veil
-Mitch Lucker


BANDOMS YOU WRITE FOR

Some MCR, FOB, Sum 41, Simple Plan, Panic! Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, Green Day, and a bunch of OC work guys
OHOHOHOHOHOH And All Time Low/blink 182

PAIRINGS YOU SHIP

Sash- Sam/Ash
Jalex- Jack/Alex
Ryan/Abstinence (RYAN THE PUSHY VIRGIN!!!!)
AJ/Her glasses
Elli/All the food and immanent objects she ships herself with xP
Cone/Deryck(OMFG I DON'T CARE GUYS, I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP BECAUSE asdfgjkl)
Any.Fucking.Simple.Plan.Ship
Jatt- Josh/Matt
BROTHERLY Gerard/Mikey
Pikey- Pete/Mikey
Rian/Casadee(did I spell her name right?)
Kellic- Kellin/Vic
BROTHERLY- Mike/Vic
One simply does not encourage incest on MY FUCKING PAGE
Liz/Axel(Is it bad that it took me like a month or two or whatever to figure out those two where dating? Either way it's cute)

STUFF ABOUT ME

-Imma awkward turtle
-I got a retweet from the Sum 41 band account(like bloody hell)
-I got a reply from Dave Rosin, Faber(singer of Faber Drive, don't judge me), Krikit(bassist of Faber Drive, STILL DON'T FUCKING JUDGE ME), the drummer of FD um Sara Ramsay(I got a few from her like wow), a follow from the Faber Drive band account, Tommy Mac(bassist of Hedley), a bunch
-I got a reply from Todd Morse on my birthday this year, I almost screamed in the middle of my English class guys(he is fucking amazing, one of my favorite singers and I got a reply so OMG)
-I fangirl quite a bit
-I'm a bassist, who can do screaming
-I like music with a passion
-To most people in my school, I'm just some "no name punk"
-I slapped a bitch once because she told me to "go fucking kill myself"
-I am more punk than anything
-My main goal in life is to be a musician, but if that doesn't work out I'm looking into Veteranary Sciences
-I don't know what I'm doing
-I am VERY protective over my friends/family/girlfriend
-I am a hopeless romantic when I want to be
-I love my girlfriend with everything I have
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