Categories > Original > Fantasy > MegaMistake


by CarcinoGeneticist 2 reviews

An intermission that summarizes a whole bunch of character stuff and things that readers hate. I quite liked it.

Category: Fantasy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Drama,Sci-fi - Warnings: [!!!] [V] - Published: 2013-03-31 - 1312 words

On Derse, the Black Queen is bored.
So very, very bored.

She hasn’t felt alive in ages. Last time, it was when she blew up the moon and killed that Sylph of Doom chick. The Knight’s been spotted around Derse, but never enough times for her to mount an attack. She can’t send the Red Miles when the boy’s a fucking ghost.
She can find him in real life if she wants. Stupid kid shouldn’t have taken that hack at the start of the game.
The Queen of Derse has killed three of her servants. And it’s only Wednesday. Signing off parking tickets and passing laws don’t seem to taste the same after murder.

So maybe she’ll just...step out. For a bit. Maybe. Not too far! The closest planet is Land of Song and Pestilence. Man, that shouldn’t be too hard.

A ship is chartered. The Dersite Queen is thrilled.


In a different universe, a girl and a boy have a very difficult relationship.

Tumblr kicked her feet, trying to fight against the grip on her throat.
“Go ahead. Scream for help.”
Bringing a foot back, Tumblr managed to nail Homestuck General right in the balls.
“You first, chauvinist!” she spits, adjusting her plastic glasses. The rockets on the bottoms of her Thigh-High Flying Stocking (Patent Pending) sputter to life, keeping her hovering.

The red wings of his jetpack flare to life, adjusting to his rage level. As a Prince of Rage, Homestuck General had a lot of fury to go around. Respectively, he is capable of destroying everything around him with the force of his own wrath.
A red haze seems to surround him as he glares up at Tumblr.
He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to.
The next time he gets a hold on her, Homestuck General does not bother messing around. He throws her all the way down to the surface of her planet. Her Thigh High Flying Stockings (Patent Pending) can't do anything against the inertia.
Tumblr cracks on a slab of rock. Tumblr doesn’t move.


MS Paint Adventure Forums sits in front of his computer, twitching anxiously. He doesn’t know what to do. Well, he knows what’s coming. The blackout that’s been plaguing his dreams and thoughts keeps inching closer. It’s not that the time-traveling past it is a problem; it’s the fact that when it hits, he might not be able to come back and warn himself.
Or he could die for good. That doesn’t bother him so much. Death is just a thing that happens sometimes. Or maybe that’s because a time player.

Youtube’s wandering on the surface of LOSAP. The Black Queen of her session is on her planet, and she’ll find her. Youtube will die unless he does something.
If he does nothing, she’ll die, and nothing will be affected, as far as he knows.
If he does something, she’ll live, and something could change.

He could lose everything at once over one girl. His hands are shaking, and he gets up to pace. He starts whining and pulling on his hair. MSPAF’s chest feels tight, but his lungs feel overfilled.
Fumbling into a pocket, he pulls out a coin. It’s a two-headed one that he bought himself, for reasons that only he finds funny. He’s also scratched the eyes out on one of the faces.
Steadying the coin in his hand, MSPAF flips the coin.
It's chance. It's safe.
Scratched, he’ll give her the directions she needs, and she’ll come back to life eventually.
Unscratched, he’ll do nothing, and she’ll die.


Sitting in a cave far away from where Tumblr is now, Homestuck General’s shaking, suffering from the aftereffects of such an emotional high. He’s crying, but that’s not from sadness or remorse. It’s from emotional withdrawal. He wants to eat a thousand pounds of pancakes and crawl into this cave and sleep for a million years.
God, everyone’s gonna be so pissed off at him now. They’ll all hate him now.
Except for him.

[Homestuck General (HSG) messaged (FFN)!]

HSG: hey tard.
FFN: Hi! Haven’t heard from you in a while! :D:
HSG: I’ve been busy.
HSG: Promise you won’t be mad, okay?
FFN: What happened? I swear I won’t be mad!
HSG: Tumblr and I got in a bit of a fight.
HSG: And I think I might have killed her.

FFN: Oh my God. Are you sure?
HSG: I don’t know.
HSG: I’m the Prince of Rage. Destroyer through Rage.
HSG: I know I’ve been neglecting you too, baby.
HSG: Knight of Life. My servant.
FFN: You wish ;):
HSG: >Implying I would?
HSG: You’re honest to God the most stable person I’ve ever met.
HSG: I’m kind of weird right now.
FFN: I think I’d really like to meet you.
HSG: And I you.

HSG: I never got along with my dad. he never came to parent meetings and was always gone away on business so i never saw him. dont even remember what his name was.
HSG: But i was okay when he died.
HSG: you’re supposed to protect other people with life. So if you Get the Tiger then you can heal yourself and others dude like fucking wolverine
FFN: What tiger?
HSG: oh right. God Tier. Got Tiger. It’s basically the game’s compensation for not letting you get laid. Comes free after death upon stone slab, complete with powers.
HSG: hey man do you hate me?
FFN: Not at all. I kind of quite like you.
HSG: hah yeah man i’m awesome.


On LOSAP, Youtube gets a message from her patron player.

MSPF: I need you to find a ravine.
YTB: just past one

Youtube rolls her eyes. Boys are dumb. But she turns around, jogging back to the ravine and wandering down the abyss. At the bottom, there’s a stone slab, almost the same size as her cabin is. The slab is a dark green, with a light green insignia in the middle. Running her gloved fingers over the insignia, feeling the rough outline of a circle with stray waves branching off it.

MSPF: fall asleep on the rock thing. Trust me.
YTB: what the fuck is this
MSPF: i can’t explain it. But you just need to know that what I’m doing is for a reason.
YTB: bitch dont make me regret dis

Youtube relaxes out on the stone slab, and her eyelids drift shut.


Watching the entire scene unfold, MSPAF watches the Black Queen stalk through the green smog, adverse to the ill effects. She eventually finds the ravine.
He doesn’t want to keep watching. But he does. He knows how all of this will end, but he still doesn’t want to see this.
The Queen finds Youtube, who is curled on her side. “Too easy!” the Queen snarks, unsheathing her claws. Her clawed fist punctures Youtube’s heart, twisting it from strong fibers into mush.
Youtube spasms, eyes still closed. She dies with her arms outstretched, curled like a comma in a puddle of her own blood.

MSPF feels something stir in his chest. Remorse? Guilt? It’s been so long since he’s seen somebody other than himself die like this that he’s out of touch with his own emotions.
His computer monitor blacks out, with a GAME OVER scrolling through the middle.
In the semi-darkness of his planet, MSPF unfolds his left hand. The results of the coin toss are still there. The coin is warm from the heat of his palm.
Sign up to rate and review this story