Categories > Original > Horror > Journal For the Slightly Insane

Night 16

by upinflames 2 reviews

hello again.

Category: Horror - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Humor - Published: 2013-08-22 - 729 words

Drink your coffee. Three sugars. A full cup of creamer. The one that tastes like the chilly weather of the Christmas season. Distract yourself from the sticky summer climate. Pretend for a while. Sing a holiday carol.

The first sip is warm. Not hot, the pot had been sitting for a while before you poured yourself a mug, and your tongue curls around the almost sickly sweet liquid. Lick your lips thoughtfully; recognize the syrupy texture that was a result of time on a hot plate. Put the mug down and consider the consequences.

What consequences?

Please note: life is many things, such as a ripple of cause and effect. There always an effect to each cause.

Make a list of consequences to drinking coffee.

The Consequences of Drinking Coffee
- The feeling of impending doom; anxiety
- Needing to pee all the time
- Sleep (or lack thereof)
- Crashing

Okay. Good. Continue.

The second sip is lukewarm. How? You forgot the coffee while making that list. This should not surprise you. Your attention span is short at best, but all-consuming when you want it to be. But you knew that. So you do not savior your second sip and instead take a third, to compensate for the fault in your memory. This sip is not a sip at all, but a mouthful. After you’ve finished your swig, you run your tongue against the roof of your mouth. You find a waxy film there.

How do you feel?

Please note: questions are meant to be answered. However, not every question has an answer and not every answer has a question. Some questions are rhetorical and some answers are sarcastic. That is simply because we live in a world that is sometimes mocking and even cynical.

You decide you feel restless. But why? Why not relaxed? Then you realize it’s probably the coffee.

Well, that’s your fault. You drank the coffee.

How are you going to compensate now?

Compensation of the consequences of coffee: productivity.

Consider: Productivity is a very modern thing. The phrase “time is money” is quite new. Before the Industrial Revolution, you would wake up at about sunrise. You would tend to your crops, take a break at about midday, and go back to work until sunset, which was when you would go home. You do have a clock in your pocket. But that’s mostly for show. You never really look at it. There’s no need to. If you went to church you would go when the Tollers rang their bells. Only now do you watch minutes pass with contempt, not knowing how to fill each empty second.


Where is your passion? What are you passionate about?

Is it in your heart? Your mind? Your soul?

Maybe as you run hands through your tangled hair, yanking at the roots for that migraine that has burrowed deep into your skull, you can find your passion. But can you really?

I don’t know. I’m not you, am I now. This is for you not me.

Please note: You are very young. This is normal and do not misunderstand me, I am not dismissing your problems as insignificant. I’ve kept your letters. I’m sorry I can’t let you burn them, like you wished. But it’s evidence. And you know very well why.

Now you feel sick. Your cup has been empty for a while now. The fifth, tenth, and final sip was downed in one quick gulp. But you feel tired. Not sleepy, but just wrung out.

That’s okay. You drank the coffee. This is normal.

Have you used this adjective as descriptor yet?

Here, let’s look at the root definition.

sen•sa•tion [sen-sey-shuhn]
1. the operation or function of the senses; perception orawareness of stimuli through the senses.
2. a mental condition or physical feeling resulting from stimulation of a sense organ or from internal bodily change, as cold or pain.
3. Physiology. the faculty of perception of stimuli.
4. a general feeling not directly attributable to any given stimulus,as discomfort, anxiety, or doubt.
5. a mental feeling, especially a state of excited feeling.

That took a lot of work, didn’t it? Now I’m fucking tired.

I gotta go. We’ll talk again later.

Remember the thing about coffee.
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