Forget the Grinch Isabella Garcia Shapiro the 2nd has him beat
promise Annastasia Shapiro was ruining their dreams.
Annastasia(Cackling) Looks like I have a nitch for being fearful, just
wait till they see what I have planned for Christmas.
Annastasia cackled spinning around making her dreamworld as jewish as
Annastasia(Sneering) There not a tree, wreath, mistletoe, fireplace,
candy cane, or stocking to be seen.
Annastasia's cackling rang through the night as the boys gulped knowing
that soon Anastasia was going to unveil her evil plan.
Boy #1: At least I still have Christmas to look forward to.
Boy # 1's eyes drooped as he snored lightly and Annastasia grinned
seeing her first soul of the night.
Annastasia(Tapping her foot angrily) Well, well, well what have we here?
Boy #1(Quickly backing away) Nothing I was just leaving.
Annastasia(Grabbing him) What so soon? But you'll miss all the fun I
Boy #1: I think I can mange.
Annastasia: Well I can't tonight's the first night of Chanukah and I'd
like someone to share that with.
Boy #1: I don't celebrate Chanukah in fact I don't think anyone here
besides you does.
Annastasia(Raising her arms) Well that's all about to change.
Boy #1(Gulping) It is?
Annastasia nodded pinning the boy to the nearest wall.
Annastasia: See Christmas is so the opposite of fair to a jewish girl
like me, one day of thousands of pressents and we get eight nights of
one pressent a night. how is that fair?
Boy #1: I guess I never thought about it that way.
Annastasia(Approaching the boy) Nobody ever does, then there's the
whole toys, toys, and more toys on Christmas, on Chanukah we don't
always get toys.
Boy #1: When did this become my fault?
Annastasia: Because you're three quarters jewish Mike and you never
once told your mom and dad that you wanted to celebrate Chanukah.
Mike: Yea because I knew all the bad things that came with Chanukah, I
mean why should I suffer?
Annastasia: Because I had to suffer through it, but lucky me is now
going to be the Princess of Christmas and I decide who celebrates it
and how they do it.
Mike gulped as Annastasia sneered grabbing him and leading him to a
Annastasia: The first candle get's lit and then we eat Latkes which are
potato pancakes, then we open one pressent.
Mike(Struggling) Wait I don't want to celebrate Chanukah.
Annastasia: I don't remember asking you what you wanted, now light the
first candle and let's get this party started.
Mike(Shaking his head) No I'm not celebrating Chanukah, I will however
celebrate Christmas becuase it has Santa Clause.
Annastasia: So it's a jolly, old, fat, man, on a one horse open sleigh
you want is it?
Annastasia blew on her thumb and she became rounder cackling deeply
grabbing Mike and raising him until he was eye to eye with her.
Annastasia: Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Chanukah Mike, meet the jewish version of
Santa Clause Annastasia Garcia Shapiro he he he he he he he heeeee.
Mike(Struggling) Noooooooooo help somebody wake me up.
Annastasia: And for your first pressent you're going to light the first
candle on the menora and earn it.
Isabella(Humming the Fireside Girls theme song) Well looks like my Anna
found a friend.
Mike(Gasping for air) Help- Mrs- Shapiro- air- getting- short- need-
Isabella(Sneering) I believe my daughter explained the concept of
Chanukah to you.
Mike nodded as Annastasia lit a match and handed it to Mike.
Annastasia(Squeezing Mike harder) Now light the candle and let's get
this party underway.
Mike having no choice lit the candle as Annastasia cackled evily and
dropped Mike going back to her normal size and leading him to a table
where Latkes met him and her.
Annastasia: Well dig in their actually really good, my great, great,
great, great, great, great grandmother brought the recipe from
Jeruselum when she came to America.
Mike(Pushing his plate back) No thanks I'm not that hungry.
Annastasia(Pushing the plate back to him) You have to eat the Latkes
it's tradition on Chanukah.
Mike cut the pancake with his fork and ate a piece as Annastasia
sneered magically making his chair push all the way to the table.
Annastasia: My mama says I can have whatever I want for every Chanukah
and for my first pressent I want a little brother to celebrate Chanukah
Mike shrank and Annastasia's shadow swallowed his as well as Isabella's.
Annastasia: Looks like they just lost another jolly soul to Christmas
Isabella: His names Bastion now like the boy from The Neverending
Story, and he's going to get used to menora's, latkes, one pressent for
eight nights, and dreidle's now.
Mike eeped in fear as Isabella and Annastasia cackled Isabella grabbing
Mike's fork and force feeding him the rest of his Latke's.
Annastasia: My second pressent will come the next night and it's going
to be taking your little friends from Christmas and introducing them to
Chanukah at the Shapiro house.
Mike was lifted from his chair and carried to a bunch of pressents in
the hall with his name on them.
Isabella: Well Bastion pick one for tonight, tommorrow you get two, the
next you get three, the next you get four, and I think you get the
Mike picked a small pressent and opened it to find a dreidle resting on
Isabella: Your big sister will teach you how to play with that later
on, all right Anna sweetie pick a pressent.
Annastasia: I already got my pressent a little brother to torture this
Isabella(Handing Annastasia a wrapped box) I think you're going to want
to open this one first.
Annastasia heard panting and happy barking as she opened the box and a
puppy with purple fur jumped out of the box and into her arms.
Annastasia(Hugging Isabella) Awwwwwwww aint she the cutest? I'm going to
name her Anna because that's my nickname.
Isabella(Kissing Annastasia) I think Anna sounds like a really good
Mike felt himself fading and Annastasia knew the perfect way to help
move things along to make him a Shapiro.
Annastasia: Come on Bastion I'll teach you how to play dreidle and the
cute song that goes along with it.
Isabella followed sneering knowing that no jew could resist the dreidle
Annastasia: Here I'll go first just to show you the rules, you spin it
like a top and sing.
Isabella and Annastasia(Singing) Dreidle, dreidle, dreilde, I made you
out of clay, and when it's good and ready then dreidle I will play.
Isabella and Annastasia giggled as the dreidle stopped on a cookie
Isabella(Grabbing two cookies) See Bastion the picture it lands on is
what you get, now you try and sing the song loud and proud you're
jewish after all.
Bastion(Spinning the dreidle) Dreidle, dreidle, dreildle I made you out
of clay, and when it's good and ready then dreidle I will play.
The dreidle stopped on a cup of soda as Isabella gave it to him and he
chugged it down smiling.
Mike: This games fun.
Isabella: It sure is now you two enjoy yourselves while I make a little
pixie dust for my Anna to scare the other boys with.
Mike screamed inside of himself as a white light shot out of him and
into Annastasia as she smiled rubbing her stomach.
Annastasia: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I wonder if your dreampowers taste this
A red light shot into Annastasia next as she patted her stomach and
licking her lips sneering down at Bastion.
Annastasia: They did now I can't be hurt in dreams because in dreams
you're invincible Bastion, at least you were before I took that away
Isabella(Tying a pouch around Annastasia's neck) And you're Pixie Dust
set and ready to go.
Annastasia: Good because Mike's yummy soul and his yummier dream powers
just lost themselves to me.
Bastion(Yawning) Boy am I tired.
Isabella(Leading Bastion upstairs) I'll show you to your new room
Bastion then you can get some shut eye and rest assure there will be no
school for the rest of the year because of Chanukah.
Bastion was starting to like being Jewish as Isabella pulled back his
blankets and patted the bed as Bastion hopped in and Isabella kissed
his nose knowing his mom alawys did this to him.
Isabella(Tucking Bastion in) Well tomorrow's another day in the life of
Chanukah so get some sleep and prepare for meeting the relatives
Bastion gently closed his eyes as Isabella tiptoed out of the room
leaving the door open a crack with the hallway light on another thing
she knew his mom used to do for him.
Isabella(Sneering) Sleep tight my little Bastion your sister is going
to make some new friends tonight and you brought all of them to our
Annastasia skipped to her room decked out in pink everything with
pictures, posters, and drawings of Isabella taped all over her walls.
Annastasia(Pecking a picture) Night mama I have work to do tonight and
those boys are never going to know what hit them.
Annastasia closed her eyes and she was transported to a world full of
Christmas everything with boys sleeping on the floor of Mike's house
waiting for Christmas Eve.
Annastasia(Pulling tinsel off of the stair railings) This'll go first
it's about time they embraced their inner Jew.
Annastasia hid the pressents next and puled the Christmas Tree and
decorations from the house replacing them with a menora and Chanukah
Annastasia: Now for the Christmas cookies left for Santa, let's do a
little redecorating some black icing, some pink icing, some white
icing, some purple icing, some more pink icing on the feet and a bow in
the hair, and veoula we have Santa Jew Annastasia Garcia Shapiro he,
he, he, he, he, he, he, he, heeeeeeeeeeee.
Annastasia took all the cookies waiting for Santa and she gulped them
down with milk and walked around causing more havoc to Christmas.
Annastasia(Looking at the mistletoe) Hmmmmmmmmmm maybe I should keep
this due to the tradition of it, I can just make it a jewish tradition
to kiss under it instead of a Christmas thing.
Annastasia spyed the stockings and she liked the idea of stockings and
decided she'd make it another Chanukah instead of Christmas tradition.
Anna Annastasia's new dog also found some cookies and they redecorated
themselves into spitting images of Anna purple fur and all and she
gobbled them up.
Annastasia: Wait till Bastion shows up and assures the Christmas
celebraters that there's no Santa Clause but there is in fact a Santa
Jew which happens to be me.
The boys stirred as Bastion was teleported to the dream and a plate
with cookies of him was passed to him by Annastasia.
Boy(Groggily) W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-What's going on? Santa's not supposed to
be here for two more days and one night.
Annastasia: Hate to break this to you but your Christmas fell victim to
my Chanukah, my brother and I hate being made fun of for celebrating
Bastion(Chewing) Yea and besides Santa's not Christian he's Jewish and
he's not a boy but it's a her.
Boy(Laughing) Yea- right- the- next- thing- you're- going- to -tell-
me- is- Santa- doesn't- own- a sleigh- with- eight- tiny- reindeer.
Bastion: Actually she that's S-H-E doesn't she doesn't need it to get
around from place to place on Christmas Eve.
Boy(Laughing hysterically) And- what- does- she- ride- a- car?
Bastion: No she's too young for that, see Santa and her trusted
sidekicks Bastion and Anna come on Christmas Eve to make sure
everyone's celebrating Chanukah instead of Christmas.
The boy saw how serious Bastion was as he stopped laughing and stared
at Annastasia who still had frosting all over her face from her own
batch of Christmas cookies.
Annastasia: And as Santa Clause or should we say Santa Jew is concerned
this house isn't up to code.
Bastion(Tisking) They don't even have a dreidel what kind of messed up
Chanukah celebration is this?
Boy: So if Santa is a girl and a Jew when do I get to meet her?
Bastion(Zipping the boys sleeping bag) Right about now, see I used to
celebrate Christmas until a Jewish Santa showed me the error of my ways.
Bastion:Of course it is I don't want you hopping off once you meet
Jewish Santa, the other boys will meet her too.
Annastasia: Bastion go get me a drink of milk please, then you and I
can show these fools how to truly embrace Chanukah.
Bastion sneered running into the kitchen and coming back with a glass
of milk for Annastasia in record time.
Annastasia: Good boy now stand next to me and let's scare the pee from
Bastion stood next to Annastasia as Isabella was transported in the
dream next and her stomach was huge and the only thing the boy could do
was stare in fear of the tallest yet fattest girl he'd ever seen.
Bastion(Hugging Isabella) I told you Santa was a her and she doesn't
celebrate Christmas either.
Annastasia hugged Isabella also as the boy quickly unzipped the
sleeping bag and dashed off with Isabealla tisking the house.
Isabella(Kissing her two kids) Nice touch on the story with Santa being
a Jew Bastion, and nice touch making Christmas cookies and Mistletoe
now a Jewish tradition Anna.
Bastion and Annastasia(Smiling) Thanks mommy.
Annastasia: I also made stockings and pressents in them a Jewish
Bastion: Ohhhhhhhhhh boy I can't wait to see what I have in my stocking.
Isabella: I'll handle the running boy while you two deal with eating
the rest of these now Chanukah cookies and getting the rest of the boys
jealous of you.
Bastion and Annastasia finished the cookies as Annastasia threw dog
treats that looked like Anna to her.
Annastasia: Now you work on your fairy tales of Santa Jew while I wake
these boys up with my Pixie Dust.
Meanwhile the boy reached a dead end thanks to Isabella and her
dreampowers of making boys her prey.
Isabella(Sneering) Here Kiddie kiddie kiddie I have a new tradition for
you to embrace.
The boy eeped in fear as Isabella grabbed him and sat him on her lap.
Isabella: See just like visiting Santa, now what would you like for
Chanukah little boy.
Boy: I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I don't c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-celebrate
Chanukah, so maybe we could get a Christmas mall Santa here.
Bastion(Giggling) Your Santa doesn't exist, he's just a fairy tale told
by adults to get kids to go to sleep Christmas Eve so mommy and daddy
can wrap pressents.
Boy: Yea well-well-well-well-well your Santa doesn't exist either.
Bastion(Sneering) Then who's lap are you peeing on scaredy cat?
The boy saw he was indeed peeing on Isabella's lap as she laughed a
rumbling laugh staring down at him.
Bastion: See that's what Santa should look like tall, shadowy, and
evil, but also fat, jolly, and an avid Chanukah celebrater.
Isabella(Grabbing the boy) You see Chase Mike is three quarters Jewish
and it's about time he joined a family that celebrated Rosh Hashana,
Chanukah, and every other Jewish holiday.
Bastion: Yea and I get out of school a whole two weeks earlier for
Chanukah, I don't have to go back until January 2nd.
Isabella(Pinning Chase to the wall) It was your idea to make Mike not
celebrate Chanukah, but lucky for you my daughter is your nightmare
monster now and Chanukah is the theme in all of her nightmares.
Chase(Gasping) I- thought- your- Santa- was-too-young-to-drive.
Bastion: She is see my mommy isn't the real Santa she's one of her
helpers, here-comes-the-new-and-improved-Jewish-Santa-Clause he he he
he he he he he heeeeeee.
Annastasia stood with Isabella decked out in a Lil Spark uniform and
she had an extra one in her backpack.
Annastasia: See my brother knows how to make people fear my mama and I
and that's what we want people to fear us, now Anna and him are our
sidekicks and they'll make sure we're never forgotten.
Bastion(Sneering) And my sister is also looking for a Lil Spark troop to join.
Chase(Fearful) She is?
Bastion(Nodding) And seeing your already here I think forms could be signed and things could be arranged for you.
Chase: What are you talking about?
Bastion(Sighing) Must I explain everything? See the oficcial Lil Spark Sleepover is tomorrow and you were just recruited.
Chase(Outraged) I was what? I can't be a Lil Spark they have an official no boys allowed policy.
Bastion: No duh but they don't have an official boy turned into girl policy, my advice don't fight because my sister's stronger than you.
Annastasia(Grabbing Chase's hand) Right this way BFF boy are we going to have fun as Lil Sparks and then Fireside Girls.
Annastasia led Chase to the nearest door in the dream as his mom signed the papers making him the newest Lil Spark.
Isabella(Looking down at Bastion) You know you have spunk son maybe one day you'll surpass me as the meanest, scariest, most terrifying person in dreams and nightmares.
Bastion(Grinning) I hope so mama