Categories > Books > Harry Potter > But, But- He's A Girl!

The Hair, the Test, the Horror!

by SADChan 0 reviews

Shon has to dress up as a guy to get into Durmstrang, then take a crazy personality test to see which house she gets to be in. Shon meets Viktor.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: G - Genres: Humor, Romance - Characters: Other - Published: 2006-08-05 - Updated: 2006-08-06 - 4611 words

-1MarySue
Chapter 2: The Hair, the Test, the Horror

Shon felt a twinge of nervousness as she entered the huge hall. It was empty except for a desk in the center at which sat a small man with a pair of glasses over his nose. He was intently writing on a piece of parchment.
She approached him.
"Name please." He said without looking up. His voice was high-pitched and squeally.
"Shon Wolfe."
His quill paused and he looked up. "I'm sorry?"
Shon glanced to the side. "Um . . . Shon Wolfe?"
The little man scratched his head and looked around, then pointed the feather of his quill at her. "You're Shon Wolfe?"
The girl nodded, swallowing.
He scooted off his seat. He only stood about four and a half feet tall. Bustling away, he disappeared through a nearby door and left Shon standing alone. Had something gone wrong? Where was he going? She thought she might begin to cry. He returned soon and was followed by a woman with a long robe and glasses.
She shook Shon's hand. "Good morning, my dear. I'm Professor Galena Illyche. You are Shon Wolfe?"
"Y-y-yes." Shon's legs were getting a little wobbly. Nothing like this had ever happened before.
The woman brought a hand to her chin. "Well, this has never happened, before."
"What's never happened?"
She began to circle Shon, slowly. "But it shouldn't be too hard to fix."
Shon was really beginning to get worried. "What needs fixing?"
The woman stopped her circle and looked at Shon full on. "My dear, were you aware that the Durmstrang Institute was a boy's school?"
Shon thought she was going to faint.
Professor Illyche smiled. "But it's now to late too transfer. There'd be so much paperwork, and with the travel and expenses you'd surely be starting late. Don't worry though. We'll get it all taken care of." She turned to the little man. "Professor Yorgason, please see that Ms. Wolfe's things are brought in. I'll take care of her myself; the other students should be arriving shortly."
With a warm smile, she took Shon's arm and led her through a door which seemed to come out of the wall.
"Come now dear, we must prepare you for the feast where the sorting of the first years is decided." The door was instantly closed behind them.
"First," said the Professor, again circling her prospect, "we must cut your hair."
Shon's hands flew to her hair. Not that! It took years to grow it so long and she wasn't ready to give it up.
"Why?" Shon pleaded.
"You will fit in much more if you have short hair like the rest of the young boys. Your hair is much too beautiful to belong to a boy."
"But I'm not a boy!"
"Bend over now," Illyche said sweetly. "We haven't much time. They are already signing in."
Shon could hear foot steps and loud voices mixed with laughter. She looked quickly up at the Professor and then down at the ground. She silently flipped her hair over and bit her lip. She heard a pair of scissors slice through the curtain of hair and watched it all fall softly to the stone floor. Once Illyche began to move away Shon stood erect and felt her head. There was only about an inch or so of hair left.
"Mom's going to kill me-" Shon stopped short as Illyche stood once again in front of her.
"I know, dear. It was very beautiful. Now if you would please stand behind this." She pointed to a folding wall that enclosed a small private area. Shon obediently walked behind it and looked to her instructor for more orders. She closed the wall about Shon before continuing.
"Now remove all your garments."
"What?" Shon said exasperated.
"Your clothes! Take off all your clothes!" She sounded very impatient. "We must hide your . . . goodness how should I put this? We must hide your femininity."
"My what?!"
Two white garments were thrown over the top of the wall and Shon found them to be a pair of boxers and a mans undershirt.
"Do not worry. They have never been worn before." Shon did as she said and longed for it all to be over very soon. "Oh, but put this on first." A long and wide strip of cloth was next to come over the top.
"Exactly what am I supposed to do with this?" Shon held it up and examined it.
"Do you have your wand with you, Ms. Wolfe?" Shon found her wand in her hidden jacket pocket and getting it ready said,
"Yes."
"Now hold the end of the cloth under your arm." Illyche paused to let Shon complete the task. "Then touch the cloth and say 'Wrapio'."
"Okay. Wrapio!" Shon's wand clanked on the hard floor and she dropped to her knees and gasped for breath. The strip had suddenly wrapped itself tightly around her chest.
"Will you be alright, dear?" Professor Illyche asked.
"Yeah," Shon breathed as tears came to her eyes. "Just . . . gimme a . . . sec."
"Yes, well, put on those under clothes and I will go and get your uniforms."
It took her a few moments to adjust her breathing to the tightness around her chest before she was able to get up and moving. As she put on her issued clothing Shon could hear more rustling outside the door, though louder this time. When she finally pushed back the folding wall the Professor was waiting with a small pile of deep red clothes.
"This will be your uniform." She held it out to her. "I will put more into your new room once you are sorted into your house."
"My house?" Shon inquired as she dressed herself.
"Yes. There are three of them. Falcon, Phoenix and Stag. Throughout the year you compete for points to win the House Cup and to play Quidditch." Shon looked ecstatic.
"Quidditch! Oh good! I've never been on a broom before but I've heard it's an awesome game."
"Indeed. Right down wonderful if you want yourself to be killed." Illyche sounded annoyed. She was obviously not a big fan of the sport. "Boys here play rough. A little too rough for my taste and-"
There was a knock at the door right as Shon was putting on the fur lined cape.
"Come in!" Illyche called. It opened only a bit and Professor Yorgason popped his head in.
"The first years are lining up! Hurry!" He closed the door again.
Shon slipped her wand inside her uniform and started for her clothes.
"I will take your clothes to you later, now go!" Professor Illyche herded her out the door and closed it behind her. Shon spotted a few young stragglers and followed after them. When she came to the end of a long line she saw a tall man with a short beard moving the boys into different spots here and there. His robes were long and black and seemed to consume him. None of his limbs were visible until he poked one out to arrange someone in line.
Shon walked timidly towards the man and made a coughing sound to get his attention. He didn't seem to here her.
"Excuse me, sir?" She tried to lower her voice to sound like a man's and found it kind of scary. He turned quickly to her.
"Yes." His voice was monotone. "What is it?"
"My name is Shon Wolfe and I'm a first year." He looked me over.
"You seem awfully tall for just a first year."
"Yeah, well it's also my last year. I'm seventeen."
"Oh, yes. I heard about your case." He grabbed her arm and pulled her into a gap in the line. "Stand here and follow what everyone else does. And don't get out of line." He stepped away from the line and two double doors opened in front of them. The line began to move and Shon tried her best to stare straight ahead.
As the line entered the room they had to stay glued to the wall on the right. The dining hall as Shon soon found it to be, was large and square. The first thing that caught her eye was the floor. It was made of grass. It seemed like there was no floor but that they had left it bare. The ceiling was high and there were four long, plain tables in the room. One table was situated on the east side of the room and another on the west. The third was perpendicular and very close to the door and the last was on the north end and was at the top of several stairs. Other than the table at the top of the stairs which the staff was seated at, all the tables were half occupied boys. All of them were dressed the same. Shon saw that as the eyes of the multitude went over the line they all eventually rested on her. The line finally stopped and they were parallel to the east wall. There was complete silence for a few moments.
"Students," Professor Illyche stood up from her seat next to the Headmaster's chair. "I welcome you all to Durmstrang for this the four hundredth year of the institution. I will be serving as Headmaster this year, as Professor Karkaroff is unable to attend due to some legal matters. And as such no one will be teaching a Dark Arts class this year."
There was a murmur of displeasure.
Shon shifted her feet nervously as she caught several pairs of eyes staring at her. She pretended to focus on Professor Illyche as the speech continued.
"We are hoping to have a great year as far as Quidditch goes. I know there are a great many excellent players in here." There was almost an audible movement as everyone turned to look at a square jawed guy sitting on the other side of the hall. Shon could see a small grin on his face but he was too far away to distinguish features. "And I hope all the first years will feel as though they are welcome." There was another shift of attention as every pair of eyes in the room turned to look at the row of first years standing against the wall. Shon could feel her face burn as she felt everyone looking at the seventh-first-year. One of the guys directly in front of her sized her up and suppressed a snort. If he was Zhenya, Shon would have punched him. "And in order to make sure the first years feel comfortable and welcome, the faculty as decided to ban all forms of initiation."
The room erupted. Someone stood up on a table and shouted at her.
"What! You can't do that!"
Professor Illyche raised her hand to quell what would have soon been a bad riot. "This has been decided on the information which has reached us that initiations in recent past have been violent and somewhat cruel."
The same boy lifted a finger. "That was just the one time!"
She raised an eyebrow and looked over her glasses at him. He sat down and whispered to the kid next to him. Shon could almost too easily imagine him saying, "I had a good one for the tall kid."
Professor Illyche smiled. "Now I know this disappoints some of you, but I want you to know that we have some special surprises for some of you, which shall remain confidential. Now it's time for the first years to test!"
A sudden hush fell over the room.
The first years did as they had been instructed to- the first in line led them to the middle of the room and Shon followed the rest. When they stopped they were in a perfect circle. They turned outward so they could face the other students. Shon's heart jumped when she saw the square-jawed guy sitting directly in front of her. Professor Illyche continued.
"Now this test will organize you into one of the three houses according to your personal characteristics. The three houses are Phoenix, Stag and Falcon."
'A personality test, huh? Divide them into Good, Evil, and Undecided!' Shon smiled to herself.
"Now please take your seats." Shon turned around and found a table had appeared in the middle of the circle. On it were sheets of parchment, quills, and small ink pots. Shon sat down immediately and took up the parchment. It had a long list of questions and underneath each was a line or two on which was allowed to write an answer. The first question was...
'What?!'
1. Do you, will you, or have you ever liked girls?
Shon shook her head. What kind of test was this? She smiled to herself and thought,
'Well, a silly test deserves silly answers.' She dabbed the end of her quill in the small inkpot above her paper and began writing on the lines provided.

The first question presented is somewhat vague. Though I do not
ever wish to be involved intimately with a woman I also find that
society would utterly fail without them. So I believe that you may
say that I do and do not like 'girls'.

2. Do you prefer being warm or cold?
I prefer to be warm when it is cold and cold when it is warm.

3. How many siblings, if any, do you have?
Though I do not see the relevance of this question in whether or
not I belong in any of the school houses I shall still answer. Two
and a half.

4. What is your favorite color?
I do believe that red brings out my eyes the best.

5. What is your least favorite animal? Please be specific.
Well, bats scare me if that's what you mean.

The questions continued as such, as did Shon.

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The first years, once they were all done- Shon being the first (the others took it much more seriously) - stood in the circle they had originally formed and waited for the signal. Shon felt the table disappear behind her and tried her best not to make eye contact with the guys sitting in front of her. Their staring was driving her crazy.
SNAP! They started moving. The first in line marched around the room and then parallel to the staff table and the rest of the line straightened out behind him. The first one handed his paper to Professor Yorgason. The professor then pulled out his wand- which was stubby, brown and had a small hook in the wood at the tip. He turned the paper over and gently touched the back side of the parchment with his wand. Shon tried to read the words that appeared on it and jumped when the professor suddenly yelled something which she didn't quite catch- she thought it was a name.
"Falcon!" he yelled next. An applause of shouts, yells, and hand clapping came from the east side of the room. The young boy walked triumphantly to the applauding table that stood on Shon's left and was greeted with people pounding on his chest and slapping him on the back.
'I hope no one does that to me,' Shon thought and rubbed her chest, but quickly dropped her hand. The line moved slowly as Professor Yorgason tapped papers, yelled names and shouted houses.
"Phoenix!" The south side cheered.
"Stag!" The west side roared.
'I hope I don't go to that one,' Shon thought. 'Their staring is really weird!'
Finally, Shon reached the teacher. She handed the parchment over to him and he jumped a bit. She looked him in the eye and he stared for a bit. Shon thought he was probably surprised that she was still there. After a second he shook his head and touched the test with his hooked wand.
Nothing happened.
He touched it again with a little more force. Again, nothing happened. The Professor then mumbled something under his breath while holding his wand to it. This time a large black question mark appeared on the back. Yorgason, obviously stumped and somewhat flustered, handed the paper to Illyche. She took it with a calm expression and, with only a quick glance at the back, turned it over and began reading.
Shon watched intently and then saw and heard Illyche try to hold back a laugh. She looked up at Shon and smiled wryly.
"Well, Mr. Wolfe you certainly have an interesting sense of humor."
Shon smiled slightly back. Illyche then continued to read but this time she whispered to herself a few comments and Shon only caught the last one. "Well, he said his favorite color is red and the Stag house color is red so, perhaps-" She dropped the paper to the table and raised her head.
"Mr. Shon Wolfe," she said loudly. "Stag!"
'NO!'
There was only a half-hearted applause from the Stag house- at least that's how it appeared to Shon. She looked over to the table and wished she were dead.
'They're looking at me like I was the weirdest thing since the covered toilet seat!' Shon walked down the steps that led to the staff table and towards the Stag table.
'Just don't make eye contact! Be cool. Be calm. Act like someone else. Yes, act like Zhenya! . . . No. . . . no, that's not a good idea.' She took a seat at the far end so that no one could stare at her- at least not with out her noticing. But unfortunately for her they stared anyway. Most of the table turned to stare at her until the next Stag first year was called and then they seemed to have momentarily forgotten her.
Shon kept her arms folded over her chest- occasionally trying something to relieve the pain she felt there. She kept her eyes down through the rest of the ceremony. Once done, there was no more room at any of the tables.
Illyche said a few words about the great opportunities ahead for every student and all the new "possibilities" they would be presented to. After she was done, the table was suddenly full with food and dishes. Shon didn't feel like eating even though she knew she would regret it later. She stared at her plate and tried not to think too much. She felt tired and hoped that maybe somehow, she might wake to find this all a dream.
Shon felt something poking her hand. She looked down and saw a folded piece of parchment. Shon glanced around her- no one was paying attention, at least not to her. She silently took the floating note and opened it. She read it.

Wait for me after the feast.
Professor Illyche
P.S. Try the pie, it's my own recipe.

Shon looked up to the staff table and saw Illyche smile for moment before turning to one of her fellow teachers. Shon tried looking for some kind of pocket on her uniform but to no avail, so she stuffed it through the buttons. She looked at the table and found that there wasn't much of a variety left- though there was another piece of pie. She put a few things on her plate and ate slowly. Shon observed the room and the people in it. As she looked about she saw three boys talking to one another- all of whom had been staring straight at her when she was in the circle. Her eyes lingered there for a moment and she saw one of them glance at her and then talked to the other next to him. Suddenly they all looked at her. Shon looked quickly back down at her plate and continued eating.
The feast ended shortly afterwards and Illyche again said a few more things.
"Now remember! Tomorrow night is the Semi-Annual Durmstrang Ball. Everything has already been arranged and all you have to do is dress up and show up. Have a good night." She sat down in her seat and the boys stood up. There was shoving and pushing, yelling and laughing. Shon looked up a few times as the people walked by. She saw the three boys from earlier- the first was staring straight at her, another kept glancing her way but the last was staring straight ahead.
'Why do all the guys here have to be so good looking?' Shon thought desperately. She especially thought the last one was the best. He had a sort of small goatee and was as built as her brother, maybe even more so.
She slowly got to her feet and pretended as though she was going to leave, but once everyone was out the doors she turned right around and went to Professor Illyche. The other teachers looked suspiciously at her as they began clearing the hall but before anyone could harass her Illyche spoke up.
"Oh good. Mr. Wolfe, I need to have a word with you." All the teachers seemed to slow, almost to a stop, in their tracks and Shon could have sworn she saw the ears of one of them grow a tad larger.
"Privately, if you please." Illyche shooed the men out and once she was sure they were completely alone, her face softened.
"Now Shon I still do not have much time to answer any questions tonight. But I think I should tell you that you will be sleeping in a dorm with three other boys." Shon's jaw dropped.
"What?" Shon felt sick again.
"Well, no one will let you in now that all the wizarding schools have started. It's just the way it's done. I've personally seen to it that your luggage has been moved to your room. The other boys you'll be rooming with are Dimitri Bortniansky, Ein Arndt and Viktor Krum. They are always together. And they are all on the Stag Quidditch team."
'Well at least one thumbs up.'
"Now follow me quickly, dear." Illyche sped off with Shon right behind her. She tried to pay close attention to the turns they took so that it would be easier to find the room later. They climbed a set of stairs and then stopped in the middle of an empty hallway. Shon saw only one thing decorating the hallway- a large stag statue.
"Alright. This is where I must leave you. Tell him your name and he should let you in." she said quickly. She turned on her heels and with a "Good night!" she disappeared around another corner.
Shon looked at the stag. A few moments passed before she spoke.
"Uh. . . Shon Wolfe of the Stag House?"
The stag's head bent toward her and Shon bent back a little. It looked her over.
"You're new." He had a soothing voice but it was strange coming from a piece of stone.
"Y-yes."
"There is something different about you. Who are you?"
Shon couldn't let out her secret or even let anyone get suspicious. "Shon Wolfe. Now will you please let me in," she said with more force.
The stag lifted an eyebrow- if you could say that- and brought its head back. It stood and moved to one side revealing a few stairs leading down to a door. Shon began the decent.
"Wait." Shon paused and looked up to the statue. His head was facing forward. "When you enter, you will find five doors at the far end of the room. Take the middle one. You will then come to a fork, take the staircase on the left. That will lead you to your room." Shon smiled gratefully.
"Thank you!" His head turned slowly to her and Shon could see that he was surprised. He obviously wasn't accustomed to politeness.
"Well, have a good night." Shon sped through the door and found herself in a large room. There was a large fireplace with a dying fire, and chairs and pillows scattered everywhere. Shon followed the stag's instructions and at last was in front of a plain wooden door. As she reached out for the door handle she heard a burst of laughter. She listened closer.
"Did you see that tall one? He looked like he was waiting for his death sentence! He was so scared." Shon instantly decided she didn't like that guy.
"Well, I'm sure you'd be scared too if you were in his situation . . . what is it Nie?" Shon listened closer and leaned on the door. She could feel the door vibrate as a soft purring noise came closer to the door. It got louder, but Shon couldn't figure out what it was.
Suddenly the door opened and Shon fell flat on her face, squealing as she did so. Instantly Shon felt two paws hold her down to the floor and she couldn't move.
"Off, Nie." The paws were lifted off and Shon quickly stood to see what had kept her down. A big black panther sat on its' haunches, its' tail twitching, staring at her. Shon felt a prickle down her spine. A guy with dark brown hair and well trimmed whiskers walked up to her and held out his hand.
"I'm Ein Arndt," he said. He seemed kind enough and looked much older than he really was- he looked like he was 23. Shon took his hand firmly.
"Shon Wolfe."
"Sorry about Nie," Ein said, walking back to the panther. "He gets excited around new people." He scratched behind Nie's ear and the panther let its' tongue hang like a dog's. It panted and its eyes glowed with joy. Shon smiled to herself, knowing that the pet was harmless.
Ein turned to his bed and Shon glanced to her right. There on another bed was the square-jawed one. She only knew him to be Viktor Krum by the small envelope on his dresser that read, "To Viktor Krum". He sat with his knees up, elbows resting on them, and with his hands hanging between them. She glanced to the last guy in the room whom she assumed was Dimirti Bortniansky. He had one foot on the ground and one knee on the bed. One arm held the banister of his bed and the other hung loosely. He had no facial hair, but his hair was blond. It was his glare that finally made Shon move. She walked to the empty bed where she found her luggage at the foot. It was then that Shon felt relieved that she hadn't taken Zhenya's advice to bring her pink luggage instead of the navy blue ones.
She took off her boots and took off her belt and cape. She folded them neatly and placed them on top of the dresser. Shon then closed all her curtains on her four poster bed and enclosed her self in them. After she had taken off all of her uniform and stuck them on top of her cape she took out her wand. Now came the part she had been half dreading and half longing for- the strap. . .

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'That new kid is kind of weird,' thought Viktor. 'No on ever closes their curtains around here.' Viktor watched the closed curtains for a moment. He heard a gasp.
'Is he crying?' There was another gasp followed by a cough. 'Or maybe he's sick.' Viktor looked over to his friend Dimitri who was now walking towards the door which had been left open. Viktor caught his whisper as he closed the door.
"Stupid first year."
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Esha and SADchan are talking quietly together.
Qiy: What are you guys all into now?
SADchan: We're trying to figure out an ending conversation for the end of Chapter 2.
Qiy: Oh?
Esha: Yeah, got any ideas?
Qiy: How about writing a conversation about writing a conversation.
Esha/ SADchan: It's genius!
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