I only know three things about Gerard.
We were flying, high in the fog of ecstasy. Swiming, pulling, and shifting in the silence of our minds. Giggling, smiling and talking from our numb lips. Bodies numb, and minds held far, together we climbed the highest mountains of serenity, basking in the sunlight of our illuminated thoughts. I woul've lied if I claimed I've never felt this way, but in some sort of form, it does indeed feel different. Here in the enclosed space of my room, lying on my bed with an almost-stranger feels different. I feel connected to this guy who I barely know, not like I feel with Ray, it feels somehow, deeper, if there ever were a word to describe it. It's not because he got me free weed, or because he gave me apples, or even because he is in fact a stranger, not even because he appeared in my dreams. I cannot place it, I cannot understand why I feel closer to this guy than I do to my best friend, and I don't think I will ever find out.
His laughter ruptures the womb of my thoughts. I giggle in the haze.
"Dude, I've been saying your name, where the hell are you?" He asks, laughing. He's lying horizontally on my bed, legs rested over my stomach as I lie vertically. I stare at him and can't help but laugh, this weed is strong, if it's not the weed then I don't know what it is.
"Dunno man," I slur, "Hey what kinda weed is this by the way? I feel so fuckin' good.." I drawl, giggling.
"'T's called train wreck.." he muses, " 't's supposed to leave you paranoid or some shit," he giggles at the after thought.
"Don't feel like a wreck just feel great." I comment, Gerard turns his head towards me and gives me a serious look, "Guess it's not working," He muses, then his countenance breaks into a joyful grin and he looks at the ceiling and laughs. God, this guy is weird, I will never stop thinking that. I stare at his profile, he looks kinda like a girl. Maybe if I squint my eyes enough, his features will blur, accentuating his girlish-ness. I try, his profile blurs and I can't really see anything besides the fog, guess I wasn't doing it right. I try again, this time I squint harder it seems very uncomfortable, but I can almost see it now, Gerard as a girl.
Once again his laughter forces me out of my hazed thoughts.
"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?" He giggles, "You look like a goat."
"I was trying to see if you looked like a girl if squint hard enough." I reply disconcerted by the thought that it didn't work that well.
"Sheesh Frankie, I'm offended," He snorts
"It's not my fault, you kinda look like a chick," I retort
"I think I'd make a hot chick," He muses, lifting his hand to the ceiling and staring at his nails, I stare at his pale long fingers dancing across the light of my room, they glow yellow and I am reminded of sunsets and gold. I don't reply at his statement, to busy looking at his hands, all creamy and soft. I reach for his hand and bring it towards my eyes, they looked soft but they feel rough, and when I turn it around to the palm it's full of caulluses and dried skin. His nails are stubby and short, un-manicured, bitten off and bordered with torn skin and hangnails.
"I like hands," I state
"I can tell," he smirks.
I feel the fog of bliss slowly seep out of my pores.
"Was that supposed to happen?" I ask
"Hmm....What?" He asks distractedly.
"Was the weed supposed to wear off without us noticing?" I ask, impatiently
"Mmm, I don't think so no."
I look at my hands and realize I'm still holding his, I awkwardly let go of it. Giving a sheepish smile I say, "Sorry,"
He snorts/giggles and rubs his eyes with his free hand, then continues to laugh into it for at least thirty seconds.
"Geesus, man," He giggles, rubbing his face,"It's not like you were fondling my dick," I splutter "All though, handjobs aren't that bad," He says as an after thought.
"I suppose I dunno," I reply, over my emberassment.
"You suppose? What, wait no." He gawkes. I stare back with a blank face and he concludes, "Huh now I see it.."
"See what?" I ask, sort of maybe just a little offended..
"No one's ever touched your dick," I glare at him, "Not that, you asshole," I reply
"Ok ok. I mean I can see it now, becuase after all you're not the kindest of people." I glare at him, "Doesn't make sense to me." I say
"Uhg what I mean is, I can't see you indulging in that, you seem far too, knowledgable without being so,"
"Are you calling me daft?" I ask, now I am offended.
"No! Jesus! Man, that's not what I meant, you gotta lemme talk first."
"Ok" I reply
" You seem to above it all, like all human nescessities are not your priority, you know too much and you don't find it necassary to indulge in what your body needs. It's like, you only care about the things that go in your mind and not your body." He concludes with a nod to emphasize. I look at him for a while maybe even minutes, narrowing my eyes, I don't even know anything about him yet, he can figure things out about me. I don't understand and I want to move past that now.
"You wouldn't make a hot chick." I state with narrowed eyes and a smirk. He pouts, "Oh well, whatever. Your opinion is totally biased." He states and smirks.
We stare at each other for a while, most likely thinking the same thing.
"Wanna roll a joint?"
The cycle begins once again.
I get up from my bed, walking sluggishly towards my stereo. I put on Electric Wizard, and let the waves of sound dance with the waves of my fogged up mind. Gerard walkes towards me, puts his hands on my shoulders then walks me towards my bed, my heart starts pounding quickly and I am filled with panic. He then throws me down on my bed, and my cheeks flush in confusion, or in fear. He is standing, staring down on me with a smirk, my eyes are wide and my heart wrecks the cage of my ribs. Then he slowly strolls over to my desk and sits on my chair. He stares at me, eyes alight with a mischievious shine, then reaches into his pocket he pulls out the apple he gave me.
I giggle, " Didn't see that coming," I continue laughing, all that game was to take the apple, "If you wanted it back so badly you could've asked, ya know?" I inquire
"Where's the fun in that?" He smirks. I smile.
"Is this my punishment for not saying you'd make a hot chick?" I laugh
"No.." He drawls, "That comes another day."
I open my eyes, my room is shaded with gray, looking outside the window, I am greeted by the moonlight. I look around my bed, then check the time, I must have falling asleep from the high. I look towards my desk, Gerard is no where to be seen. I would've assumed today was just a dream, but the apple sitting on my desk proves me otherwise. I slowly get up from bed, the springs creak, and my head hurts, most likely from hunger. I walk towards my desk and pick up the apple.
It's carved, most likely Gerard's doing. There's a portrait of a crying mary virgin, holding a heart full of spades. I stare in astonishment. It's beautiful.
Gerard is a stranger and there are perhaps only a few things I know about him. Today I have learned around three. One least important than the other two. One, he isn't a virgin. Two, he has the hands of a hard worker, rough and calloused. And three, he's an artist.
I place the apple down with a smile, too bad it's gonna rot, I add. I look at the corner of my desk and see a note I have failed to see before.
Had a fun day Frankestine. You crashed so I let myself out. Btw, I knew you weren't going to eat that apple, you didn't eat the one I gave you before. -Gerard >:]
Ok maybe four, or five. Four, Gerard is sneaky and quiet. Five, he knows more than a lot about me.
Once again apologies. Please R&R unless you guys wish to torture which I shall not put against you. Sorry for any mistakes Im kinda drunk