FicWad

      Now, we’re going to talk about an entirely different person. Luke Coward. Luke was a pretty normal boi aside from the fact that he wasn’t a boi. He was a frog. Luk had been struggling with this for most of his life and had kept this a secret from all but one of his friends. And the one friend that did know, knew accidentally/.
 
     One evening Ari was sitting in a room of nothing. It was a void. The only other thing in the room was Luke. Suddenly Ari came out and said “daddi.” Luke let out a horrendous screech and started flickering back and forth between his human and frog form.
     “What the fuck?” asked Ari, seeming concerned.
      “MeeeEEEEEEEMES” Luke screeched, writhing in pain on the floor.
      “Luke what the fuck is happening?” She took a few steps back. After Lukes pain had dulled, Luke sat up and whispered.
       “#triggered.”
       “What?” Ari questioned.
        “YOU FUCKING TRIGGERED ME.” Luke said.
         “I thought that was some kind of myth tho” Ari responded.
          “I only made it seem like a myth so you wouldn’t know.” Luke said. “I identify as a frogman”
          “You’re fucking otherkin?” Ari said in disgust.
          “No. It is my species. Every full moon I fully transform into a frog.” He explained.
 
 That was the day Ari found out that Luke was a frog man.
But aside from that Luke is a very normal boi/frogman. He has a fairly average obsession with memes and every once in a while he exfoliates magic cards off of his skin. This happens about once a month. Luke, despite being a normal boi, had some serious fucking issues. Like wow, holy shit. He was a cold distant little bitch with no understanding for human nature. This could be, because he is a frog man. Nobody knows.
   Every night he drinks cold hard cummies from his trumpet, watching porn and jerkin his SCHLONGDONGDINGEDONG with his frog feet. He lives in a pond with many other frog people, where the frog people express their passionate hatred for the lizard people.
    “They are not like us.” Said the frog king. “They are MONSTERS.” He shouts. The other frogs cheer in approval before going into battle with the lizard people. They lose every time. Luke doesn’t go into the battle because he’s too busy masturbating.
     There is something special that seperates Luke from the other frog people. His long luscious pantene locks of black hair. He is royalty for this feature. Mostly because he’s an argumentative douche who uses this against everyone in every situation. “But Luke,” a frog will say. “Magic isn’t fucking real.” Luke will interrupt this statement. “I have long hair and you fucking don’t. So I win by default.” If they don’t listen to this point Luke will strangle them using his hair, before feeding them to his frog family.
  Luke has a collection of cacti. He enjoys sitting on them. That’s all. They have no real relevance to his life story and it is just a very nice thing to mention.
   He also is a raving fan of Jay Jay the Jet Plane. He thinks about Jay Jay every night before bed  and prays to him every morning when he wakes up.
  BUT NOW I SHOULD MENTION HIS ACTUAL RELEVANCE TO STORY.
  He doesn’t have any. He’s just there to exploit memes. That’s it. Goodnight, everybody.