Categories > Games > Dungeons & Dragons > Lord of War

Chapter 1

by Flaming_Saber 2 Reviews

My first SI. Follow along as I adventure to destroy an evil legion led by two half-fiends. I own nothing.

Category: Dungeons & Dragons - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Horror, Humor - Characters:  - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2006/09/03 - Updated: 2006/09/03 - 2437 words

Reviews

  • Lord of War

    (#) Ithilwen 2006-12-16 08:30:26 AM

    You don't need to capitalize ordinary words like "library." Only put it in caps if it's a specific place, like, "The Manhattan Library of Bubble Gum" or something.

    Why would an ordinary guy who's just doing homework have a saber? That's a bit out of the blue. If you want to foreshadow, try saying that the pipe was a good heft and had a nice grip, then later have the protagonist use the same words about the saber.

    And it's "tae kwon do" or "taekwondo." A person whose only combat training is TKD would not be able to do that at yellow belt level. Try adding, "fortunately, I'd been taking kempo all my life," or whatever.

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