On a string I was held. The way I move, can you tell my actions are orchestrated from above?
I looked down at the note, re-reading it at least three more times. Love you. -Petahhh. I crumpled the note up and threw it into a corner. He always did this. The guilty note. I believed it once, but, this time I was skeptical. There was a light knock on the door, and I stood up.
"YOU'RE NOT DEAD!"
Sydney burst into the room when I opened the door, a carton of ice cream in one hand, and a handful of spoons in her other. She plopped onto the armchair near the bed and opened the ice cream, licking her lips.
"Uh, Hi?" I said as I watched her dig a spoon into the vanilla ice cream.
Fleur came in, giving me a warm hug, and threw her black fabric bag on the floor next to mine. She noticed the white paper, and picked it up, but I quickly snatched it away from her. She eyed me, then the paper, then shrugged, and went over to her own bed next to mine. I stuck the note into my back pocket.
"I called you like fifty times," Syd exaggerated. She held out a spoon to me, and I gladly took it. "And we ran out of sugared peanuts."
I laughed, remembering the message she left. "Yeah I heard." I dug my spoon into the creamy goodness, taking a large amount and shoving it into my mouth.
"Then Patrick came," Fleur chimed in, "and asked us if we had seen you." I nodded. "We told him no-"
"That you were with that ugly haired, metro," Syd added. I gave her a look, but then softened and laughed.
"Will you let me tell the story?" Fleur asked, sitting Indian style on top of the bed. Syd signaled with her spoon to continue on. God I loved these girls way too much. "Anyways," she continued, "we told him no, and well...you can fill in the rest."
I sighed and took another big spoonful of ice cream. I didn't feel talking much, and I know they could tell, since I shoved mouthfuls of ice cream into my mouth.
"I'm going to kill Pete," Fleur mumbled. "Just wait until he gets a piece of my mind."
I shook my head. The last thing I needed was a feud "Don't get involved you guys. Please."
"Slapping him around a little isn't getting involved," Sydney said a matter-of-factly.
"Please," I pleaded, "don't do anything. At least wait until I TALK to him."
Fleur rolled her eyes as she pushed her choppy hair from her face. "Since when do you two talk anyways?"
"What?" I asked confused.
Fleur stood up and flopped on her stomach onto my un-maid bed so she was closer. "You two are either arguing or eating each others faces between sets." She used her hands as an example of how we acted.
A little irritated, I shrugged. "That's just our style." I pulled the ice cream away from her and into my own lap and stabbed at the ice cream.
Sydney pulled her legs up into the chair and out stretched her arms then wrapped her arms around her legs, resting her chin on her knees. "I seriously don't understand why you put up with his shit Aaryn."
The familiar silence entered the room. Each of us shifted uneasily, waiting for someone to say something, but we just looked at each other.
"Do you love him?" Fleur asked in almost a whisper.
"I," I played with my bangs a little, "I...don't know." I looked into my two best friends eyes. Each of them looking at each other before turning back to me.
"Oh my god, you do," Sydney covered her mouth a little. "Why?"
"I don't know?" I shrugged. That was like asking why a fat kid loved cake. I just did. "It's just one of those things..." The nodded for me to continue on, hanging onto my words as they slowly came out of my mouth. "Like...I don't have to... but I just do."
"Like, a Lover you don't have to love," Fleur said, folding her tanned arms and laying her head on them.
I nodded. "Exactly... like a lover I don't have to love."
The words from the song started to play in my head, and I started to hum the lullaby tune.
Loves an excuse to get hurt. Do you like to hurt?
"Then hurt me."