Categories > Games > Tekken > Private Fury

The Curse of Being Machine

by Gai 0 Reviews

A half-ass excuse to stick Bryan and Lei in the army together in funny little adventures...well, they're not really adventures. And they're certainly not funny.

Category: Tekken - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor, Parody - Characters:  - Published: 2006/09/25 - Updated: 2006/09/25 - 638 words

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Lei: Okay, maggots, this is where we're going to see if you're worthy of being called men! This course shall push every one of you to the limit! It has been designed to test you physically, mentally, and emotionally(gestures to a psychologist sitting in a chair on the course).

Bryan: Why the hell do I have to do this? I won the third King of Iron Fist Tournament.

Lei: No, you didn't. You got tired of waiting in line to register, so you said 'screw this' and left.

Bryan: I didn't wait because I already knew I would've won, I didn't have to prove anything to you people.

Lei: Right, like on that stake-out I did with you.

Bryan: I told you I was just getting something to eat!

Lei: You were gone for over two hourse! You missed the whole drop-off, so I had to arrest the gang by myself, and afterwards I found you in a strip club!

Bryan: What are you complaining about, that stupid little stunt got everyone calling you 'supercop' like you were some god damn hero!

Lei: ...just run the damn course.

Bryan: Son of a bitch... (trudges off torwards the course, before being trampled by a herd of Jacks)

Lei: Get off the ground, Fury! This isn't the Girl Scouts!

Bryan: (cursing to himself) .......ing Wulong.......piece of shit Jacks and.......you'd know what the Girl Scouts is like.......can just go fu........

(Bryan tries to climb a wall)

Bryan: Shit! How are those damn robots getting over this? (sees all the Jacks plowing through the other walls)

(Bryan goes through a hole one of the Jacks make)

Bryan: Shit! I've gone through this whole maze and everywhere leads to a dead end, how are those damn robots getting past this? (sees all the Jacks plowing through the walls)

(Bryan goes through a hole one of the Jacks make)

Jack-2: (talking to psychologist) If it is said that I think, therefore I am, than why can I not understand this thing you call 'love'?

(Bryan makes it to the psychologist)

P-Jack: (talking to psychologist) If it is said that I think therefore I am, than why can I not understand this thing you call 'love'?

Bryan: Hurry up!

(P-Jack, overcome with grief, self-destructs)

Bryan: Finally! (walks over the pile of Jacks that self-destructed)

Psychologist: Hello, what seems to be the problem?

Bryan: Nothing! (punches the psychologist and runs to the end of the course)

Lei: Great work, Bryan, you're the only one who didn't self-destruct.

Bryan: Well, not self-destructing happens to be my specialty. So what do I get?

Lei: (looks over at the pile of Jacks) A new platoon, I guess.

Bryan: ...that's a prize in itself.

Lei: Go back to the barracks and get some rest, I'll see about getting some new recruits.

Bryan: Alright, but they better not be dicks like those robots. (leaves)

Lei: Oh no, Bryan, they won't be anything like the Jacks, just you wait... (begins to laugh maniacally)

End Of Chapter 4

Sorry for this being a somewhat short chapter, I didn't really see how to extend it any further, but I think you'll really enjoy the next chapter, so be sure to give your comments. And I apologize to the psychiatric community if they're offended in the way I depicted them, psychologists really are our friends, and are there to help us with any fears or negative habits we might have, not mess with our heads and make us blow ourselves up, so please, if you see a psychologist on the street, say hello to them, but don't punch them in the face, that's just mean. (and don't think that this warning isn't necessary, last time I got a dozen e-mails from concerned parents whose kids were taking half- eaten twinkies from strangers)
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